designs for a guardian
by trinity-frost
Summary: review! sequel to ones evenings love; quistis & seifer both are trying to get back to their lives before they crossed roads, what if they were never supposed to be seperated, what if they don't get things right.what if death & love become the balance..
1. Default Chapter

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I own what comes from my head, anything that isn't my heads creation is obviously not mine. 

**                                                    Power of sorrow__**

_                               The thoughts that run through my head, _

_                              Are scarred and scattered all over the place_

_                             The wounds you leave made me see red _

_                              The blades of sorrow have cut the ace of spades._

_                            Though spades are black, the color is of the heart._

_                              The art of anguish controls the mind. _

_                                      Blinded by its own design_                                                 

                                                                                   -   Trinity

                                                         ~~*Design of love*~~~

Quistis' point of view- 

   I woke up with stinging eyes, it hurt and it stung. I wasn't sure which or what I was talking about. If it was the fact that I was happy for once and then it was taken away, or more like if I was shut out from my revere. Either way the feeling was something strange, it could have been the train and that I was uncomfortably scrunched up on the floor, but it was not a good enough answer. 

"The bloody hell was I thinking?" the muffled sound rang solo out into the cabins' air.

     Forever it seemed that I let my eyes avoid the world, the site of the cabin. I could have been there rolled into a little ball for hours, I wouldn't have known or have cared to look for a clock. I felt dead, and unsettled. I hated this, shuddering from the foreignness that had taken over my senses I let myself fall back into dreams, the things of the past. Maybe I would dream of a memory, something I could look forward to, I wouldn't mind sleep if it were about those kinds of things. 

    Wish I would dream and not have the sad black emptiness that I fall into, then maybe instead of waking up to a blank mind I and wake up and feel the joy of wonderful dreams. I can't even get that, instead I wake up and go through the day and go home to rest and wake up in the morning wondering if that really was a whole nights sleep or two minutes. Instead, I get to fall asleep and wake up with nothing but the day ahead to think about, the word to describe it is . . . . . empty. Yes, empty. 

Normal point of view. ----- 

      Inside the recesses of her mind was Ifrit, among others, and for reasons unknown to him he was feeling this discomfort from her pain. With a roar, he decided that he was going to end this discomfort, as he shifted in the psyche of Quistis Trepe he learned of the events. Sharing her view of what happened, the memory replayed itself for him. The feelings transfer to him and her thoughts.

            Ifrit had a newfound understanding of his master; their compatibility had even gone up. Ifrit decided that he would rid her of the memory, end the knowledge of this suffering by making this event blurry and unfocused to her. As she remembered what happened the night before she found that she was having difficulty, there she was at the bar getting a drink as the gang of drunks watched her from a table. She saw herself fight it off when they jumped her. Saw the fight that the bartender caused for her, the room that she took into and the figure that woke her up. Frowning unconsciously because she couldn't identify the man, a complete bared black shadow of whoever the bartender was.

  


             The events replayed in her mind, the wine, the fire, and the storm; the things she did during the storm, it puzzled her that she couldn't seem to place the character she did this with. Feeling shame for her mistakes and riddance of non-alcoholic beverages only, she shook herself from the dream and its meaning. 

     Waking up to find herself on the floor of a train cabin was a mild surprise compared to everything else that resurfaced to her. The thoughts traveled slowly to her brain, then a few seconds later, analyzing it briefly and dropping it figuring that it could wait. 

       What about the mission, she thought to herself. Since the bar incident she had completely forgotten that she was there for a reason. Sitting up in alarm, she slapped her forehead; the mission was a failure! She thought frantically. I never fail missions, she noted. With groaning chuckles she lifted herself off the floor, she was screwed and in more ways than one for once. 

    Thoughts darted through her head, she had almost forgotten what the mission was, she didn't know what happened to the criminal, she was lost on what she was going to do, and she supposed she could lie but she never did that on a mission. Then she decided that she was going to tell headmaster cid and commander squall the truth, that the criminal escaped during the storm into an unknown forest and she was bunkered in the cavern during the storm. Then when it was over it had been too late and too wet to follow any kind of track that the suspect would have made the night before. So the truth was stretched, she mused.

        I had slept with a stranger! I had slept with a bartender! I had drank a lot with the bartender. . .I can't remember him. . .I don't know any details. . . where was my rational side of the brain she sighed to herself as she admitted her wrongs during the mission. Rubbing her eyes she sat down on the couch in the small cabin, its dull beige color on the walls reminded her of gardens' halls. The couch was a deep red and the room had a little door that led to a very convenient but small washroom, she fell onto the couch and covered her eyes with her arm. 

 "What is wrong with me?" she thought aloud. 

         For some reason she didn't feel right. Her mind was exhausted from something and her body felt so worn out and tired as though she could just lie still; looking at the ceiling as her mind worked out problems without her knowledge or her sensing it. She knew that it had to do with her actions a night ago but she was still more tired then she figured she should have been, she had gotten to rest and then even in the train she slept. So why am I so tired, she asked herself. 

     Her long legs wrapped in baggy cargo pants that were a bit too big for her, her arms were bare but her torso was clothed in a dark tank top. Extended along the couch she fell asleep, the feelings of dissatisfaction, with what she remembered and doubt about why she was feeling bad about something unknown to her was still fresh in her mind as she drifted off. 

    Seifer woke up to a quiet morning his bare chest was warmed with the sun, still lying still he let his eyes open slowly as a smile started to play on his lips. 

 "Good morning" he mumbled into the object he was holding. Then a few seconds later, he opened his eyes. 

"Quistis?" he asked the room. 

    Where is she? He asked himself as he got out of bed, his nerves were jumpy at the thoughts he was coming to as to where she had gone. Bare assed he jumped out of the bed as he thought of the possibility that she had snuck out and left him there. 

 "The bathroom "he muttered as he ran to it, swinging the door open he let his head rest on the door his hand still on the knob. She wouldn't just leave, Quistis isn't like that, he convinced himself as he walked back into the room cautiously, expectantly.

"The bar" he cried in triumphant, knowing that's probably where she was. Grabbing some clothes, he ran down the stairs and into the bar. 

     The waiter was cleaning some tables and all the chairs where moved to one side of the bar, the mop and bucket in one side and the lights weren't on; the place's light supplied by the suns' rays. A dim pale color that suited the place when it was empty, the scene made Seifer feel as empty as it. 

         After he was back in his room, he shut the door softly and leaned against it, frown was deep and eyes shut tight. There in the corner of the room was Hyperion, glittering and sparkling for him to take it, he was so sick and tired of this shit. All day long, he goes and serves drunks; they hit on innocent people. 

        He didn't do anything important he didn't do anything he wanted to; he just did what he had to. Then he goes and does the one thing he wanted, needed, felt was the only thing that was right to him, probably in years, and he gets screwed for it, Loses it. She just left; just like that, he sulked to himself. He walks to his chair and sits down, immediately he jumps back up and spins around staring down at the piece of paper. So she left a note, he thought briefly. Picking it up, he opened the folded paper and read the contents to himself. Afterwards he felt as though he could kill something. 

        He dropped the paper and strode across the room to where Hyperion was; there it was lying there waiting to tear through something, anything really. He picked it and felt its weight; it was light and nimble with his hands and form. Turning around slowly he let it swipe across the air, then he did his old practice routines with it, the bitch, the fucking bitch, how could she? After that night, he thought as he went faster he hit the table and realized it made him feel a little better. 

       _It was a mistake. We both know it Seifer. It was the wine and the way the evening turned out. It had us acting differently. _

"Bullshit!!!" he cried, charging at the nearest object.

 

         Splinter and wood spit out in all directions his actions were faster and precise every minute, his mind was flying and his blade was chopping at the desk wildly. A mistake? I don't think so how could it have been, it was the best feeling I've had all my life, there hasn't been anything that I've experienced that even came close to what had happened here last night, he thought. It was like waking up or being born, he thought as he completely shredded the desk. Destroying his bed, the sheets ripped into millions of layers. The pillows ripped open and feathers decorated the negative space around the ceiling and walls falling and rising up into the air again. Seifer would stick his gunblade into the mattress until it wasn't anything but fabrics. 

       _It was wrong of me to have acted the way I did, it didn't mean anything though so don't worry about it, I don't feel anything but shame, I know you don't care or anything but I'm just saying. _

"**I don't care! You **_Quistis _**don't care! You don't care! You don't care, I don't **care**? ****You don't care!" he screamed at the shelves as he destroyed all the things on it, screaming out curses and reciting parts of the letter to the deader furniture. **

        As he pulled the trigger on some of his things he realized that there was no more furniture to kill, the room was like the post of a battlefield. The wood sprayed across the floor mixed with fabrics, feathers, and bits and pieces of bed sheets. Objects shattered onto the floor, all of his possessions smashed on the floor. The walls had holes the size of people and you could see the water pipes and electrical wires from any angle of the room on any one wall. 

_        I trust you'll forget this ever happened as I'm doing the same, the fact that you don't love me is a good enough reason to forget the events of last night. We will just think of it as a drunken mistake. It is better this way, for everyone. I am sorry because of my mistake Seifer, not because of the night itself, please understand. Let's go back to our own worlds and leave this incident in the past. Good-bye Seifer, good luck in all your affairs, _

_               Quistis Trepe. ___

     Seifer looked at what used to be his room and let his feet lose its force, falling down against the ground. He sat there in one far right side of the heap of garbage with gunblade in hand and trash next to the other. It would be so easy, to just go and kill everything there was to kill, to just let go of everything, and be free, he thought absent-mindedly as he looked at his reflection through his gunblade.      

           Quistis turned to the left a little in a dream state, her form was rigid and still but if one were to look more closely, they would see she was relaxed. The couch was just a very uncomfortable place. 

    The streets were crowded and the people were speed walking, every one of them. Quistis was wandering about the streets in search of something, the stores neon signs flickered and the yellow streetlights gave the place a quiet atmosphere despite the loud indescribable sounds of the bustling people. 

      The cars zoomed by and skidded to a stop at the intersections, the buses stopped at the bus stops, to Quistis this seemed like a normal city. As she walked the streets the time was slipping, she saw the fat newsstand owner close the booth and go home. Then as she kept walking, she stopped and watched a tall bulky fellow with blonde hair close his gym. As she was turning a corner she ran into a little boy with brown hair and a long shirt and shorts the color of vanilla, his eyes were wide and green. 

"Lady! I have to leave you!" he said. Quistis backed away and blinked back surprise. 

"Excuse me, are you all right?" she asked albeit hesitantly. 

"No!" he yelled, as he backed away and gripped his little chest where his heart was, he shut his eyes and pleaded. 

"Please, just stop pretending." he said quietly before he sprinted away. Quistis stood from her crouching position and along the wide street road, that was surprisingly deserted, was a hospital. The building was white with an emergency sign at the left side, and another sign she couldn't read on the right. Suddenly, a dog that was twice her size came up to her and knocked her down!  

"Ahaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!" screaming she woke up, fell off the couch, the train was running slowly, and it had turned night again, she had slept the whole day. 

    Seifer was standing proud above his target, a part of him was afraid and the other was begging for release. He smiled wickedly as he prepared to get what he had long ago deserved. Maybe Quistis was right. Maybe I don't care, and maybe I don't love her . . . maybe I'm lying to myself, he thought quietly as he looked down upon the face of the scarred man below him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 well what do you think will happen next huh? Dum dum dum I"m not saying a thing. Well, this was the first chapter, before anything I would like to say that this story can't make sense, ultimately if you don't read the first, ' one evenings love' and you'll see why in later chapters. Anyway review and let me know. Really people just give me some support and I might get the chapters in a bit faster than slower. R & R and thanks for readin'. ^


	2. ch 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing that is from square, scenes of violence are in this chapter. Sorry it took so long to get out. Please read and review . . . its very much appreciated. All reviewers and readers thanks for all, and to all a thanks. ^ ^. SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1

 -Chapter 2.-

       Quistis saw the city as the train neared the station, the light of the city made her feel better for some reason. Maybe it was the fact that she was back to the real world, or back to her reality. The scenery passed quietly and quickly, the conductors voice sounded excessively loud to her ears, making her wince; the quietness from the ride had been stripped. Sighing she gathered all her stuff and exited the cabin, the people were piled and stacked one after the other. Quistis didn't even have to move, the people around her seemed to move her for her. After the discomfort of getting off the train, she left the train station and went to find a hotel.

"Hello, would you like to rent a room for the night? Its hundred gil a night." the receptionist informed Quistis, Galbadia wasn't crowded but had a few groups of people filling the hallways, scattered and spread about as they talked. 

"Yes, please." she said, the receptionist handed her a key and took the money Quistis fished out. 

"Room four hundred and seventy two." the woman at the front desk informed her before turning to another costumer. 

        Turning to were the elevator was she saw the masses of people trying to fit into that little elevator and sighed, knowing that she would have to take the stairs. The stairs' walls were gray and colorless, the little sign at the top said first floor, this is ridiculous they should have more elevators, she thought. Those people really have no common sense, trying to fit into that little space all at once! Purely stupid if one were to ask me! she thought to herself as she rounded the door to the second stairs. 

           Switching hands on suitcases, she read the sign that said third floor and continued up the small stairway, I can't believe I had sex...she thought distracted as she opened the door to the fourth floor. The hallway stretched a bit and had nice carpeting with beige and red walls and little lamp tables on every few suites, with chairs on different corners and places. 

                 Her room was just eight rooms to the stairs. She slid the keycard in she budged her way in and threw the keycard on the table next the bathroom; which was a few feet from the door on the left. The bed was in the middle of the room, with a small table near a window that had two chairs and a armchair by the TV on the other side of the room. 

              After she dropped the bags on the floor by the TV, she dragged the designer covers off the bed and covered her self with the white sheets; falling asleep instantly. After her dream on the train, she hadn't been able to get any sleep. She had discovered it was a very long trip to make from the little town to Deling. Last thought she had was; whom did I have it with? With that question floating in her mind, she let consciousness slip.

  


       The hospital was quiet at this time of night; the plain white walls supplied a quiet atmosphere to the sick. The halls ware empty and brightly lit, the nurses' station dimly lit as the last nurse that was on the graveyard shift finished her rounds. Last patient she had to check on was the one brought in just recently by the local angler. Terrible site it was; both covered in blood and the poor guy had been mightily pale, she thought as she wrote down his status. Walking back to her desk, her brown eyes scanned the clipboard as she went.

         She went to her desk and filled out the report on Mr. Halpersy. Let's see here, she said to herself as she looked at the file before her, six, two, male, blood type O, birthday? A/n, age? A/n, status: loss of blood, severe cuts to torso area, anemia. There now I can finally go home, she thought as she saved the data and turned off the computer before getting up and getting ready to leave. The man that had brought in the injured was asleep on one of the chairs in the patients room, the nurse tutted and pulled her black hair back as she exited the hospital she thought about how unfortunate the man must have been to go through that. 

    Danny opened the door the hospital room, after his fist night at the hospital he figured that the memory of his late wife was still affecting him, the hospital reminded him too much of all the pain she went through before she went away. He had gotten a call a few days after that his friend was finally waking up; relieved he went to the hospital and was now opening the door to the room he was in. 

"Hey, man how are ya holding up?" he asked, to him he looked battered and beaten; like if he was assaulted by a mob. 

"I'm not too happy, bu-. ." he replied before breaking into coughs, Danny winced at the sound of his voice. 

"I'm doing better; I should be outta here in a few days. Its bullshit-.." he said, coughing had started again and he couldn't finish his statement.

"What's bullshit about that?" Danny asked, his blonde friend.

"I'm fine. I don't need to be in here for so fucking long man." he stated, stubbornly. 

"Seifer, what were-. ." he started.

"I don't want to talk about it!" he snapped anger filled his voice as the letters' words ran through his veins, the feeling trying to affect him. He ignored it and focused on Danny and the conversation

"I'll tell you when and if I can. Just drop it okay?" he said sourly, his face was radiating with anger but beneath that bravado he was silently begging the subject to be tossed for now. Danny sighed and decided to talk about something else. Raking his brain for a subject, he sat down in a chair and looked at his friend. 

"Your room's completely demolished." he told him. 

"Yeah, I know." he said. His tone held no attitude; the words flew from him anticipating the statement.

"The pipes eventually broke and flooded the place, but then something in the electrical circuits broke and started a fire. Everything's burned to the ground, it happened so sudden no one could stop it." he told him quietly. Seifer's eyes widen for a second before going back to his tried look. 

"Fuck! Are you serious?" he said after a thought.

"Sorry, there's nothing left." he told him. Danny thought and gave a possible solution a thought. 

"hey Seifer what about you take my place?" he asked, after all I am leaving, I was going to rent it out, but I could give it to him. Maybe it could give him something to look forward to, he thought.

"What? I can't take your place." he told him. What the hell am I saying? I'm broke and homeless.

Plus he lives there, it is burnt . . . everything I worked for. All that I had is gone, he thought.

"No, I'm leaving. Going to move back to F.H, I got offered a position there. I got nothing much here for me anymore. I want to get away from this all, if ya know what I mean." and Seifer did, he knew exactly what he was saying.

"Danny, I really appreciate this man." he told him after a long pause.

"Hey don't worry. How you feeling?" he asked switching subjects.

"Dan, I feel like I was slashed across the chest and drained of everything I got." he told him.

"Wait a minute. Isn't that what happened?" he asked wittily. 

"Damned if you think you'd get answers from me." he replied before, the doctor came in and Danny had to leave. The doctor checked on Seifer and told him his current condition. After running some test on him, he left Seifer to himself. 

        Seifer's point of view-

      The room was dark with a blue tint that reminds me of garden early in the morning. The quietness was disturbing and the whiteness of it all was pissing me off. Nothing worked out as it was supposed to; I can't even kill myself successfully . . . that is really depressing; to fail at something so simple. 

        The bar burnt down, I will go broke, the insurance money can only cover me for so long. Maybe I shouldn't have done that, I'm stronger than that. . Apparently, I thought I was. To be reduced the way I was, because of what? A letter a night. Because of one woman, how sad that I can't let that go! Quistis doesn't feel, the sound of it disturbs me but brings peace at the same time, I don't like the way it makes me react though. I can still feel it, when Hyperion cut through me. 

                     The blade was fine and the shimmer of it was never lost, I mostly thought I should just try it. The hell was I thinking! I been through shit before, in fact literally dragged in my own made hell. Sure I deserved it, I killed thousands of thousands but I've been so dazed all these months and then she came . . . made everything so clear. The pain sung through my veins, the words only fueling the flow as I lay awake and wondered about her. If she felt, if she loved . . . she probably loved once. The nurse came in and told me to get some sleep. The hell with that, she did something to my I.v and I was left alone. The room grew large and I seemed to focus on the ceiling, the lights dimmed. I felt myself fall into the memories of my most recent mistakes. Every image told me that I wasn't rightful in my choice, every image rebukes me. 

 Normal p.O.v - 

       The room was in shreds and the walls exposed, the furniture was no more furniture as Seifer was unstrained. Slowing standing, he left the gun blade's offer alone for the moment, was life so bad he mused as he crossed the room and looked at the day out through the window. The sun was shining and there were two birds on a tree outside. They were sitting quietly watching the world at its sidelines. Seifer thought that the day mocked his turmoil, cursing at the day he moved towards his trusting old gunblade and lifted it to his eye level. It reflected his striking green eyes, he saw then, all the eyes that stared back at him: Matron's, the gardens' students, the people he killed, the soldiers he led, the children he passed. Then he saw the lone lion, the princess that was always at his side, the cowboy and the yellow energy ball that was the messenger girl and the chicken wuss, he saw the teacher in her eyes, he saw the heart that wasn't there, he saw everything she was and everything she meant to him. 

           He saw a regal queen in all her glory, it was the last thing he saw before he remembered the letter and blind rage and pain overtook him and his hands. The blade slashed at his shirt and chest, the already present scars reopened the blood escaped him. Running down his palms, as the blade cut his hands as well, the cuts were deep and he wasn't really thinking of how to go about it, just so long as he did it while he had the nerve. 

            The shirt clung to some curves of his torso and his chest had bloodlines running down it looking like veins outside his skin; even through the worst, he was still prideful as he ripped away at himself, for what had happened. If one would have asked if it hurt he would have told them that the pain from physical wounds didn't reach him because the pain in his chest was already clouding and too overwhelming to his senses to allow or even let the physical pain reach him. 

                Everything had happened so fast, Seifer was confused as to when Danny had gotten to him. When he had collapsed from the loss of blood and emotional exhaustion? Since he focused on her as he blindly led his fate with his hands, which were shaking uncontrollably along with the blade in his hands. He remembered one of those days at the garden as they trained when they were still in the same class; not knowing when he had blacked out the dream memory flooded the reality of whatever had happened to him after Danny had gotten there. 

                  He remembered seeing Quistis and him sparring, her with her magic and his Hyperion as the whip wrapped around the blades tip and released a second later. He remembered her triumphant smirk in her younger days when she won a session. The constant study session she made him go to and her forcefulness when she had a test, and wanted him to feed her questions until she knew everyone by heart. Seifer recalled that she had no problem with it and the study time was so short because she would have answered them all right after the first time sometimes it was only about thirty minutes long those study sessions. The fight they had after the seed ball about her instructors' license, and then the years of constant bitterness and spite between them. 

         The next morning in the hospital Seifer woke up even more frustrated than before. His patience was wearing thin as the nurse hummed the Cactuar song for the eighth time, it wouldn't have been so bad if the song is hummed right. That wasn't the worst part though; she had decided to start over every time that she messed it up and the song was a few pages long on paper and about seven minutes when played. Seifer would later recall that the nurse had very bad memory and that each song had taken her fifteen more minutes than it would have taken a person to speed read the lyrics to a deaf person. He was staring ahead, praying for the first time for patience just so he didn't kill her, or maybe if I staple her mouth shut, he thought. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

its not always so angst, but I had to make this happen to him, r & r and make everything better.  


	3. strange thoughts, second chances

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1

 Disclaimer: 'kay…..with five bucks I'm gonna go buy Seifer but no one else……maybe I can get zell for two fifty since he's real short. ^ ^ just messing people. I don't own 'em. . those reviewers of mine, the few and proud. Thanks so much for the reviews and for takin' the time to do it. Its so nice, *_* I'm so happy somebody takes the time! And you others…..shame.. ~_o. you cause me twitching. On with the fic. 

    strange thoughts, and second chances.     ! Chapter 3.! 

 Quistis squeezed her eyes shut, the world? She thought, can wait. Smiling for no reason she let laughter erupt from deep in her gut, from somewhere in her she felt she needed to laugh. Who was she to ignore herself, smiling and laughing, she just couldn't stop, she was clutching her stomach and giggling madly as she thought about nothing in particular. 

"I'm...huff...going crazy!" she mused out loud. The thought made her laugh harder, the room was filled with her voice and she felt good, despite the circumstances, she knew today wasn't going to be a bad day. 

       After routine things, she left her room and walked to the elevator, her steps were paced, slow deliberate steps, as if testing them for the first time. She felt like a new person, what had brought on this change? She asked inwardly. As she waited for the elevator, she let it take its time, looking at the other people that were standing next to and around her. There was a couple that were talking with a family and to the right of them were a few friends, she guessed, and they were chatting like crazy about the parade that Delling was going to have in a few months. She looked at the couple they must have been about in their forties; they were talking with a young married couple that was carrying twin boys. The groups looked as happy as she felt. Smiling she boarded the elevator and let it take her down. 

          What parade? She thought briefly. I never knew the city had a parade every year; it would make sense since I have no life outside garden, no real life anyway. If you think about all the things you don't get to experience at garden then you'll feel worse about it, and you can't experience them because you have no time, your life is filled with mission briefings and training and conditions. Yes, and what of death? They train you for that too. You learn to except it and if your caught there are conditions. 

            You swallow a little pill that will make it impossible to be coherent and drugged properly. A drug that blocks other drugs from working, when you swallow that a sensor activates, garden will know, and this is only in dire circumstances. Then there are those missions where those conditions aren't given. In that case, you will have to gut it out, and death is always at the back of your mind. When you live in garden and live inside its shell, the real world and all that goes on in it is rather lost on you. It is a benefit because you think less of those things and the things you would miss about it, that's what garden thinks, I think it makes it worse because you never even knew life outside garden. 

                 When trapped inside the rooms with death and you have nothing holding you down, except maybe your love, but not everyone gets as far as to love. Those who do will fight for them and will always know that their in their loves hearts, so they will always s fight. Some will succumb to it, say their death pray and let it all fall down. What will I do, will I fight, no if there is no use I'll find peace, the fastest peace I'll ever have to find and I'll try to pray, would I really? No! I'll never get trapped in a situation where I'll die for sure, shit the only way death will take me is by age or the end of the world, I'd see it through though all the way till the end came, with whoever was with me I would. Damn no use in hiding from something like that, she mused as the elevator's passengers left to go about their business, she wondered were they had gotten ready for death, when it all started, then she mused. 

  


                The sorceress' war was where we learned to be like that, for all of us, squall and Rinoa, Zell, Selphie and Irvine we were prepared, to give it all. Its a sad end for such young people, we were babies, really now, we were. We didn't understand anything, and we didn't see the consequences of our actions. At the young age of sixteen and seventeen and for a few eighteen, and we were prepared to give our lives. When you think of it, you feel old, like an old war veteran, but at the age of twenty, I'm a war veteran. I can't teach, I'm not a good teacher they told me. No abilities in that area, they said privately when I went to ask for my position back. It's about how you handle them and I couldn't, so the hell with it. Seeds the life for me, right and squalls very open-minded she thought sarcastically. 

           People starred strangely at the woman on the elevator, she had been there for half an hour, just standing inside of the elevator. A little boy cam up to her and tugged at her right hand, having to move his little arms up a little to do so. 

 "Hey! Lady I was plawying for a few minutes wit the elewater and I wanna ta know if you frowzed or sumethings."" he told her honestly, she looked down at him and smiled brightly. Unsure of what to do he smiled in return and asked, another question.

"Ya wanna plawy?" he asked as he looked at the floor with his big brown eyes and dark untamed hair. She giggled and patted his head, and told him that she wasn't frozen and that he should play someplace safer. He nodded and left with his ball in his hand. She went out into the streets to find breakfast. The streets full with the loud clamor of crowds as usual. 

                The streets were clean and she could always depend on the normalcy of it all to bring her some peace if only temporarily. A café in the corner of the shopping district was her best bet at a cheap meal. She ordered a cup of tea first; it tasted like sweet-skinned dinosaurs eggs. Then she ordered a fruit salad, with fresh cut strawberries, bananas, sliced red, green, and yellow apples, pears, and peaches. The mixed fruit soaked with the fruits juices, everything treated wonderfully. The apples were both sweet and sour and the peaches were a bitter but wondrous pleasure to her tongue. The pears were sugar and the strawberries were her punch, the bananas evened everything out with their sugary but regular taste that made everything else she ate seems foreign to her tongue; giving it a adventurous feel to it. The meal was large but it consisted of fruits and she couldn't bring herself to finish it, her stomach already too full as she paid her debt and left the café. 

        I'll keep it to myself. They don't have to know what happened, I don't know what happened. That is very sad Quist, what if someone finds out, wait I don't even remember that night, I can honestly say I didn't know what they were talking about. I have to get to garden soon, I should get my ticket. She thought as she set her course for the station. At this time of day, it wasn't jammed with people but there are crowds scattered here and there and on platforms. She went to get her ticket.

"You want a ticket? Its three thousand gil per ticket." he told her, his old face was sullen and tired looking. She felt bad for a minute and then shook her head and frowned, they all look like that Quis! She told herself, their old and their faces mold into a constant frown. Grabbing the ticket, she muttered a thanks and left. 

            I have to stop thinking she told herself, all I do is confuse myself, and I'm not even thinking about anything important, I'm analyzing the way an old person ages! What in Hynes name am I doing that for. I really am going crazy! She imagined, as she walked to her hotel room to get changed and board the train, the stray jacket and patted walls and thought that she was just tired from the last mission. It wasn't that physically tired, but the metal kind, after everything that happened. 

She didn't even get her target, Percy Eski. The whole thing is hazy to her, when had she let him out of her site. The mission was to track him down discreetly, of course she had remembered seeing him spot her and running. Then he ran into a alley after a few days of running around in circles; her luck had crashed when it started to pour and he snuck into a very uninviting alley. Smarter than most she chose to ignore the prospect of chasing a large bulky felon into a alleyway as the storm had started to make itself known. She looked for a place to rest, the cavern was near and easy to get to before the storm got bad, she had seen the weather report.

      Then the real crap fell from the holiest skies landing right in the booth next to her. Yes, she thought, holy shit! For both a curse but a grace, she was holy crapped on. For because of the group of drunks the bartender saved her, leading to a series of events that both left her confused and extremely happy and she felt betrayed. Being rational, she leveled that she should be depressed and ashamed but her mind told her otherwise. 

   Betrayed by her brain, opposing emotions and sides surfaced and eventually it concluded; leaving her in the confused and cheerful state of mind that she was in. Yes, she didn't know what had actually happened, no real memories of it, but somewhere deep inside of her mind she had gone through something very awe-inspiring. Well, understatement, she thought, and I don't understand it! She cursed her mind and her luck and got on the train. It wasn't what she did it was that she did this with a stranger that confused her it was the aftereffect that had her perplexed, instead of shame she felt only purely good, and then that led to the only question left.

"How could a stranger make me feel more than I've felt even with my whole life pulled together?" she asked herself aloud. Then something occurred to her, I can't remember who it was! What if it wasn't a stranger?! 

              Groaning she held her head as she had let that possibility go unknown for such a long time. Then I would have remembered wouldn't I? Damn it! I can't figure it! She stomped the floor with her heel in frustration. I just have to put this behind me, I can't go back or doing anything about this, she told herself. 

               Seifer given a clean transfusion of blood and left alone, he had been in the hospital for a total of three days, seething at the teeth when they told him he wasn't strong enough to leave yet. To prove him wrong Seifer had gotten out of bed and lifted the five, nine in height doctor of the ground a good three inches. The doctor didn't go wide eyed but hit Seifer over the slash across on of his shoulders and Seifer hissed as he instinctively went to grab it. 

          The doctor grinned triumphantly and told him that he would be out in a few more days. Sighing Seifer then remembered the cures he had and cast one on himself, the pain ebbed and he felt better. Grunting he went back to bed, reassured that tomorrow, he would be leaving. The nightmares that followed this erased his previous feelings, leaving him with his past to relive as he always did. The screams tore through the halls. The nurses tutted and shook their head, knowing that they couldn't reach the boy. Returning to their work, they tried not to focus on the sound.  

             Seifer's dreaming constantly plagued him, with life came a price. The nightmares, the dreams were always just sad replays of his life, twisted around and played with. There were dreams of the orphanage and all of his life and its all tinkered with, Ultimacia had messed with his head in many ways. He had false memories and repressed memories resurfaced enough times to leave emotional scarring. All the things she did to him were replayed and intensified, the words she feed him the things he did they haunted him. Sure, he would not complain but he still cried out for mercy. His painful past was always following him as his shadow. 

                        Even the sun didn't want the rays to hit him, instead he got his past as the dark shadow that followed him. This never left, nights were tough but the truth was worse he was broken and battered mentally left bare and untamed. His wild nature was unleashed as a power, which was what Ultimacia did. She stripped him of all sense, comparing him to knights and leading him blindly and with a bare mind, unawares. He was now learning and seeing his mistakes for the first time. Ever since Danny found him, he was learning the cruel pains and truths of what he did. 

            This was his price, he wanted life and he got it, with the price of forever living the present with the past to tag along. Life itself was a struggle for him. when Danny discovered him at a shore off far away from the cities, Danny had recognized him. Deciding to forgive he took him to a town where he would be able to live without the world to torture him along with his dreams. 

              The next day the doctor was shocked and had little to say as Seifer got his clothes, or Danny's' because his was shredded, and left the hospital after he called Danny and told him that he needed clothes. They were walking down the street and Seifer asked. 

"So where is that house that you left to rot away?" he asked. Danny rolled his eyes and they drove to another town, a smaller one with only a few houses and long acres of carrot and tomato fields. There was a pier and a small house that was just before the docks and colored with the light of the surroundings; its white reflected the colors of the sea and sun. The front lawn was a few feet and the grass was dewy and green, with a two-railed wooden fence that reaches your knees. The wooden door had an old worn look; the pathways to the door were large stone steps, which Seifer noted looked like marble. The docks had lots of boats and export and import ships coming in and out frequently. Danny was the one that usually took care of the ships but now Seifer would have to deal with it. 

"Every few weeks boats come in asking for something or other, I have set up store and you've helped out enough times to know what to do." he told him, Seifer nodded. 

"I just take over for you then, permanently," he told him. 

"Basically" he replied.

        When they got inside, the sea breeze welcomed them. The floor was made of wood; it was red and well worn so that your feet felt only smooth surfaces. The entrance was facing west of the sea and the living room is the first thing that Seifer saw. The furniture was old but reassuring the big couch in the middle of the room was a deep green. A large rug underneath it with a design that was beautiful. The coffee table that lay out in front of the couch was perfect to place things as you looked at the fireplace that was on the same wall of the door. 

"Ah shit! Look Seifer I gotta go man. I have to catch a ferry ride to F.h so I'll call, just get acquainted with the place its all yours, man, for real. Do with it what you will." he told him truthfully as he  shook his hand and patted him on the back and left running. Seifer shook his head and chuckled at his predictability. Exploring the house, he noted how open and free it seemed, with the windows open and the large windows. 

          The kitchen was on the opposite wall, the walls were a light blue and the shutters were made of wood, open windows left the house open to the sea and seagulls, shore, and Seifer noted that the sounds echoed calmness into the house. The kitchen was small but nice and the living room had a counter to eat meals on that connected from the kitchen to the living room serving as a wall. The stools, created out of bamboo and had a back to them, there were four stools.

           The rooms divided by a hall to the far left of the house, the hallway stretched until it reached the last room. The first room was the master bedroom, as you walked further n the hallway the next two were across from each other and were both bedrooms the hallway then made a right turn. Then there was one on the right side after you turned to the left from the corner that was a laundry room.

           Moreover, the last was a bedroom, after you turned in the hallway, with a bathroom attached. The two rooms that faced each other were connected and had a bathroom that they shared; the master bedroom had a bathroom that was the largest. Seifer whistled and laughed at his sudden change of luck. He grabbed the phone, and prepared for some long conversation with the insurance company, he needed the money. 


	4. chapter 4 insurance

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: well, I don't own them, if you would like to give them to me as candy I would just love to eat me a seifer. ^.^ enjoy, and review if you can, they are appreciated. 

                           Chapter 4. Insurance

 After the long conversation with his insurance company he convinced them that there was an accident and that it wasn't his fault but that of bad construction. They greedily asked if he wanted to sue and he shook his head, his hair falling onto his eyes. The blonde knot had come loose long ago.

"No! Damn I told you I just want to be covered." he barked at the receiver. Hearing the next set of words, he got riled up even more. 

"What do you mean you don't cover that kind of accident!?" he was screaming now, patience gone. 

"Hey! I'm not your son! There were drunks at the bar and they started smashing up the bar. One of them broke some wiring, it later caused the house to go to flames and it blew up... . . . You don't cover fuses and fires!........ what kind of insurance company are you!?!" he was infuriated and was standing with his mouth to the receiver pacing  up and down the living room making sure to avoid the coffee table as he did so. Ready to rip out his hair, he thought of another approach. 

"Look I need to be covered, I have no money and the possessions I owned have been turned to ash. I just need enough to cover for my assets I don't want the money for the bar and the business and the furniture and all that. Just the bar or the business or the house or which ever one of those is good enough." he forced it to come out nicely, though if you were to see him and see him say that you would think he was about to pull the man on the other line out by the tongue and make him swallow it. The man on the other line asked a question and Seifer was ready to kill himself. 

"No, I don't- I'm not suing I just want money for my things. Look I have paid you for insurance now I need it and your not going to help me?" he was tired of this, he didn't want to deal with this, he was depressed and sick of this all. He just wanted enough to get up off the ground again. 

"Mr.Halpersy, I'll see what I can do. I can cover for the house. It will come by mail. We can give you... seven hundred thousand gil for it Mr.Halpersy good day." with that the conversation ended, Seifer starred at the phone and set it down. He didn't have the energy to fight anymore. Relaxing as he sunk into the sofa, he let the breeze and sounds of the ocean bring him to sleep. The large blanket resting on the head of the futon was pulled and he covered himself with it, letting the nightmares come and letting the past invade, I need some sleep even if it isn't so restful, he reasoned as he felt his eyes close.  

  


       The sunset tinted everything orange as he slept, the house was quiet and the door to the kitchen was open and the house held with his screams. Outside the seagulls soared above the house away from the sound, their wings sailing as they fled with sympathy for the troubled soul, to leave him to his own silent hell. The waters crashed melodically the blues and greens clashing and charging at each other, working together to color the world with their presence. 

     The small village only consisted of a few houses they didn't hear, they didn't[t bother. The house was a image of calmness, inside it only turmoil resided, unable to erase what had been done to him. Unable to leave the past in the past, with the guilt on his shoulders always he lived. 

                    Seifer sat up and as the sweat poured from his face and his pallor grew less noticeable as he asked the winds, why? Why can't I have anything? First my life is ruined, my name is cursed, my soul battered and tortured and constantly infested with the evil that had taken my soul too. My heart smeared at, slashed at, my heart has left and my last shreds of love were given to Quist- . . . . . hyne I'm different, I never used to be so. . . expressive, or . . . what's the word? Poetic? Uhg! I'm going soft.  

             The best thing I ever did was give that to her, the last of Seifer Almasy. I'm broken, I finally broke! Moreover, even though I made it through the war, and Ultimacia, Quistis had it in her to bring me to the lowest I'd ever get. She didn't do it on purpose but she did it. Reduced me, made me seem unimportant, just something, that had crossed her path. 

         She seemed so lost though, when I had seen her, he thought; her eyes they were reflecting his. It made him want to efface the look. Was it the wine? They had drunk a lot, but they were sensible and making sense. He could remember it all. Every word she said and the words he spoke too; all as clear as the sky. 

             Quistis was getting dizzy from staring at the passing trees; silently she mentally counted the amount of money that she had spent so far. Hidden from view she didn't notice an shadow of a man as he looked at her with hate. He had to be discreet and wait, it was all in due time. 

     He smiled cruelly at the idea of revenge for Ultimacia. This woman had interfered with the plans. If Seifer had been able to stay at Garden, Edea would have been able to blow the garden to smithereens. Snickering at his cunning plan, he waited for the right opportunity to strike. Seeing that he would have to wait he relaxed on the ceiling and tried to meditate his plan for any faults. 

                The Balamb train station was empty as usual and the card queen had even decided to stay there, Quistis grabbed her stuff and went to rent a car. The sorceress follower snickered as he thought of how sly he was for going unknown even as he was dealing with seed! Grinning behind his black sweater hood he ran in the shadows as the car sped away. Knowing that she was just going to Garden, he walked and took his time as he followed, he would get her.

             Quistis was confused, in the past few days so many things had changed her and her life. She had done the wrong thing, she had let the target go, and she was now planning on lying. She was sure she would have been able to catch the target in the alleyway, but his movements seemed planned and he had looked behind and actually stopped to give her time to follow. Now assuming he hadn't seen her, that he was just in a hurry, why in the world would he turn around, so that she could catch up. . This had her mind reeling and analyzing the information, she was very cautious an didn't want to come out of this dead, and when she had thought about it Eski had ran, now why would he be running in the first place, she had long ago decided that it was a trap, it was just too abnormal.

            There was no way anyone would be that hurried one minute and the next completely composed and looking back for no reason then again why did he go in circles. She had discreetly followed him as he went from town to town, doing nothing except for pass by. All that passing by for nothing, all he did was walk through the towns, then he goes back to where he started. Then there was the look in his eyes, his poster, he was pleased, as if achieving something great. Did he know he was being chased? He didn't seem that way as he traveled through the towns before ending up right where he started. She tried to see if he was okay, pretending to be some concerned townsfolk, he turned and sprinted to the end of the alley and turned right at the end. Quistis saw her chance and carefully sneaked away without letting him see her. It was all too strange to go in there with the way the target was behaving.

            If the man had planned that, did that also mean that the money was just a means to get a seed out here in this town? But why? What's the reason for just any seed. She was confused because it just didn't add up, a random seed, and no one would ever know; there is no point in the capture or kill, she thought as she parked the vehicle in the parking lot and exited the car. She went over to the control panel, entered her number, and signed the car in. 

             She would later have to go see squall and cid about the mission but it was late Two thirty a.m. She knew that everyone was out of the offices and in bed by now so she walked to her room as well. The idea of finally being in her bed at ease had made her walk more enjoyable. 

   The garden looked quiet, peaceful. There was no party waiting for her, she wasn't surprised. They didn't know she was coming back early. Sighing as she looked at her reflection, tracing the fish that swam the pond she watched it jump out of the water for a second, her mind deep in thought, she didn't know why but the water had struck something in her. 

          She didn't understand it, one look at it and she had to stop, the water was really blue but at night it looked emerald, a dark green that held depth. She had a flash of something, a nanosecond of remembrance of what? She couldn't tell, she shook it off and continued to her dorm. 

           The florescent lights dimly lit the corridors and she found it, her room. Sliding in the keycard, she dropped her stuff and fell on her bed. Happy to be home at last, smiling she spread her arms in an attempt to hug the mattress, the mission had taken excessively long. The months of stiff beds and chairs had her back aching and she just needed to be in her comfortable bed again.(A/n: you try sleeping in trains and chairs and crappy hotels for a few months.) sleep took her over almost immediately and she welcomed it as she was slipping off her clothes she fell into the sheets.

             The room roofed with a dark Blue Ocean lit watercolor tinted the walls and objects. The window next to her bed was big but covered in a large sheet to block peeping toms; her room being in the area of the quad, it let everyone see what was going inside, it was the first thing she noticed when she looked outside and now it had a large sheet covering it. Smiling to herself, she fell asleep to the sound of the songs of crickets' wings. 

            Xu was at the front desk when Quistis went up to see the headmaster and the commander, Xu and her were friends, Xu knew more about her than most other people did, she could read her like a book. They had been roommates and gone through the seed exam at the same time. Quistis always considered Xu as one of her closest friends, even if she didn't grow up with her since she was three. Though they only hung out a few times a week, Quistis would consider her friendship with her like that of a sister.  

           Quistis waited as the elevator stopped at the floor and got out, the front offices were the first things you saw when getting out of the third floor, they had changed things a little since the bridge is permanently in Cid's quarters. Balamb's operational forces and political representatives worked out front, and then the headmaster's office was in the back. With the rest of them put down in the basement, which had become offices after the garden master's pod was removed. 

"Hey Quist, how did the mission go?" Quistis looked at her friend and gave her a face. Xu chuckled and reverted to turning them into coughs after Quistis glared at her. Xu had been offered the same mission but she had declined saying that she couldn't work under such conditions. The conditions being staying in the shadows tracking a delinquent for a few months, she told the commander that she would not be able to handle the undercover and patience part, and then suggested Quistis.

"Not too well, the ass ran in circles, I lost him, failed the mission, got trapped in a bar, during tropical thunderstorm with drunks. Where: I was assaulted, hit in the head and knocked unconscious, rescued by the bartender, Buuuuuuuut, other than that it sucked. Oh, the bar was the highlight. Then as I was coming to garden, I started to build up paranoia. Pretty fun huh?" she said as she settled into the sofa by Xu's desk. Her poster was rigid but Xu knew she wasn't tense.     

"Wow... . . . . " Xu blinked and got a faraway look in her eyes, she really felt for Quistis, her mission was supposed to be cake. It was simple and easy money, but it had turned, from what she could gather, bad. Quistis looked worn also she noted, she had circles under her eyes and her appearance was normal on the outside but Xu saw her jaw twitch which was a sign of discomfort. However, even though she had gone through crap, the mission itself must have worn her out she was tracking that bastard for four months, completely secretive. 

                 Her top teeth were biting her bottom lip and she knew that she was alto in something; her eyes were focusing on her eyelashes, which meant one of three things A) that she could be trying to forget something or B) remind herself of something, or C) conclude on something. Xu shook her head and picked up the phone after it rang for the third time, the phone she had was old and broken and on the third ring, it would sound distorted and extra long, Xu and everyone else that heard it thought the sound was terribly annoying. Cid opened the door and out came a man dressed in black suit and tie, they shook hands and exchanged goodbyes, Cid motioned for her to come in. 

        The office was big but warm, and the furniture switched with things sturdier and harder since the war. Quistis saluted and waited for instruction. 

"At ease. Sit down Quistis." Squall said, he hated the formalities and every chance he got he would avoid them but it was procedure and he had to follow it. She nodded and sat in the chair to the left of the desk cid was in, squall was standing by the window seemingly watching something, but he turned and walked to stand around the desk as he acknowledged her. 

"The mission was a failure Sirs," she told them as she looked at cid, then squall trying to find a reaction. Squall was stoic but she could see he was...confused? Oh, fantastic, they don't believe me, she thought as she found the same look on cid. She felt like screaming, what?! I can't make a mistake, shit doesn't happen to me! Just everyone else? She thought better and this time she bit the upper lip in worry. 

"What happened?" cid asked. He wasn't mad but seemed tired as if this had happened four times today.

"Well, sir. . ." Quistis told them the mission what happened with the target and the storm and was wise when she left out certain parts of the story. When she was done, they all seemed tired; squall shook his head in a frown and asked: 

"Why didn't you try to follow him after the storm?" he asked. 

"It wasn't till the next day that I was able to go outside, I went to the store to ask around and the person told me that they hadn't known the person. I went to the alleyway and found that it was a dead end. I checked it thoroughly for any passage ways but came up with nothing and after the rain there was no evidence. Not to mention that the target had spotted me. So the mission was a failure." Quistis didn't want to be there anymore. Hyne, just get me out of here, she wasn't going to let them find out the truth, they would have her position, she had just given up and she didn't know why, she didn't understand why she had boarded the train and left. She can't remember, now she wish she did. Cid was about to question her more but squall cut in.

"I don't know what happened over there Quistis. I wasn't on the mission. But I'm going to let this lay, because your usually one of the best operatives and because of all that you've done for us in the past. I don't know what you were thinking when you... ran out in this mission but it will not happen again understood?" Quistis nodded squall saluted. Quistis stood and saluted. 

"Yes, sir" she received the nod to leave and turned to go. 

      Xu smiled sympathetically as they ate lunch, Quistis looked like death, her head in her hands and her right leg was bouncing the other leg followed because it's crossed over the right thigh. Her food untouched and her coffee cup needed refilling. I need wine, no I need coffee, no I need to stop thinking about this, she told herself.

"You don't run out on missions, Quis. Its not you. What happened?" Xu nudged at her with her elbow, resulting in Quistis' head moving a little to the opposite direction. The cafeteria was silent as they talked, not a lot of students were out of class yet. The grayish bluish table reminded Quistis of squall's eyes. 

"I can't remember." she told her, as she removed her hands and looked at her friend. Xu frowned and contemplated this for a second. They looked at their food for a while and the table, silent. they had sat in the back the of cafeteria by a window.  

"Well, why can't you remember?" she asked, casually.

"I think I was too drunk to remember." she said even more nonchalantly. 

"Ah," she nodded understandingly, she would have been worried but she saw that Quistis wasn't drunk now, and that she was able to hold herself. Xu had faith in her friend and accepted the answer, glad that Quistis would tell the truth and that she was able to depend on her for that truth. Grabbing her shoulder in an attempt of a sideward hug she put both of their temples against the other and hugged her friend for reassurance. 

"Quistis? Come on lets go out. Maybe we can catch a movie or something." Xu looked down at her friend as she got up to empty her tray. Quistis laughed despite herself. 

"Sure, sorry I'm so down today. I never fail missions' Xu. You should have seen squall, he was so disappointed in me." She told her friend. Xu rolled her eyes.

"Still stuck on him huh? Gee Quistis you need a new wall to lean against." She told her jokingly. Squall? No I don't feel bad because of that Xu, its like having your family look at you in shame. Especially for something so simple compared to saving the world, she said inwardly. Plus, I don't feel that way about that ex student, but another, though the two are a look alike in some ways, they are also complete opposites in other ways; why did  he some into my thoughts all of a sudden, she mused. They made their way to the parking lot. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

thanks for the reviews and to all you readers you could review, or you could read, leave me feedback and I'm happy if you've enjoyed the chapter I'm happy. I know it feels like its going slow, but be patient. Happy halloween! It coming up soon. Ah, the temperature is already changing and everything, *_* I love this time of the year.


	5. 5nights months

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I own nothing, I wish I did. Please buy it for me! *_* I'll pay you back!!! I promise!

A/n: this is a long one folks, hope you like Seifers mind because we're taking a little trip inside, I'm not going to go over their state of minds a lot but every once in a while a chapter will go inside their heads so deal, and things get a little complicated for our poor Quistis. Thanks for the reviews Quistis 88 and just so you know I review without sighing on, I never sign on that's why you can't tell I reviewed your stories. I remember you asked about that once. Or I was hallucinating again...oh well, crabboy is it? Good name. You like crabs do ya? Will thanks for the advice. On with the fic. P.s I decided that Seifer was going to do the narrative, he got really mean about it. I had to. 

        Ch. Wind visits. 

  I watched you look at me when we were stuck together. Your eyes cloudy and deep full of the husk that I've never known you for. Now you're always there, even in the nightmares, and I won't want you to leave me. Being ever haunted, you're the last string of my sanity, I seemed transfixed as I thought this. As I rolled to the side, it must've of been late...or early. 

       The futon was comfortable and it molded to my frame. I rose from hell to be mauled by the demons' gates' dogs. Them and all their barks of cruelty settle in my head and invade. This house is beautiful, I'm grateful to you for that. If you had left then I would have never gotten this house. Quistis, what do you think of me? That I'm too low for you? That I'm a waste, or just convenient. I have to stop this, I thought. 

        The light in the hall caught my attention and I stopped thinking of her, she was bothering my thoughts more and more now. The bedrooms were empty so I slept out front on the futon. I grew custom to the work and the chores. It wasn't easy at first and its been hard work. I don't think I'm concerned about money but about myself. 

            I feel different, empty, lost, but what did I lose?. I want to end it but I can't, I don't think that the way I want to finish this pain is the way it will go away. I think about her all the time. Hyne, why? I don't need this extra weight on my already dead soul. I'm so like squall now, its not very appealing. Damn it! This isn't right! I don't resemble squall, mind-wise or any-other wise!

        I was lost in thought that night, with the moon out bright, and the stars, they shined above my windowsill. She never cared, I thought. I thought a lot that night, I could see the shadows play a game with the waves. I saw the birds perched on the trees outside. The windows, they let me see the world, they're so big. I don't understand, I'm no good? I thought I was better than nothing was. I suppose I could have been wrong. Maybe I was, and she left because of this. I have to stop thinking so much, I told myself. 

        The night was clear, the clouds were nowhere in sight, the stars shined brighter than any sunlight I'd ever seen. Still laid out on the futon I ran my fingers over my stomach as I thought, they found their way to the scars. I figured it was because the scars were more interesting to feel than just regular skin, but it's the thoughts that arise when the fingers pass over the scars, everything comes back to me.

  


        It all passes through me like a train, the memories, they present themselves unkindly, trying to make me repent till it'll be the death of me. I don't want to spend my life going over ever single thing I ever did just to repent. I'd go crazy. Its not that she's a distraction, but she becomes a part of everything I do. She's in the back of my mind as I sleep and wake. Everything I think seems to turn towards her, damn hyne-forsaken woman! 

       After hell, I found heaven and it greeted me with Hyne's love, now my hell was back and I miss her. I'm hungry for her, like a drug I need to get away from this hell, if I ever saw her again and the situation presented itself, I'd take her where she stood. 

 Fuck the world! Give me my heaven and I can die happy. I was thinking so weirdly, I don't know where these thoughts started, I didn't like them, I never welcomed them. But I did when I welcomed her, didn't I?

"Hahaahahahahahhah...when did I become so . . .?" 

"Shit.." I whispered. I didn't know what I was thinking, why I thought the way I did.

          I'm so, changed, Quistis did this? How did she do this? . . . . . . damn fucking emotions, I wish they would go away!  Fuck! Ripping the sheets from my body I sat up, felt the sweat beads slide down. My hands covered my face, I didn't cry but I had to rub my face from these thoughts. My pants were damp from the sweat on my legs, my elbows on my knees as I hunched down and tried not to think about what was plaguing me more than the past for the first time. I've had a lot of firsts since Quistis came into me and then disappeared like a dream. Sighing I stood, removed the leather pants and set them down on the chair by the futon. Here I was sweating like mad and it was a breezy night, that's what I didn't get, I was sweating not from heat but from pain, emotions, I needed to get the emotions out, it had to be ridded somehow. So the sweat poured, is this how people felt when they cried? 

           My bare feet slapped softly against the wooden floors as I walked to the kitchen. From the almost empty frig, I grabbed a beer and went to sit by the fireplace; I rested my head on the coffee table as I looked at the black pit of the fireplace. Quistis, you messed with my mind. This isn't normal I told myself, as I drank from the beer. The cold breeze covered my body; my chest felt the caresses, my legs held in place by the sweet warm breeze of the summer as I drank my beer. The season was comforting me I realized, its winds held me close and though exposed I felt as though in a blanket of warmth. 

           The cold night lit the room with the gray blue of the skies above the roof. The skies sent hands of sea breathes towards me, it covered my back, supported my chest, and let me feel some peace, let me rest. I didn't sleep but I felt calm, the sea sang to me, the morning breeze slowly replaced the night one and coated my body. My fingertips felt the sweeping zephyrs get tangled in my palm and slip through like wine from a glass. 

         The waves crashed and the birds rose now and I stood from my spot on the floor. Bare and chilled, I walked to the window and looked out, the hair was removed from my face by a gust of wind, I looked at the sea, its green blue depths reminded me of her. The night of pain has ended but now a day waits. 

          I always found peace with the wind; Fuijin after all controlled it very well. I haven't thought of her and Raijin in a long time. Fuijin. She loved me, I couldn't give her what she wanted, she knew the truth. Fuijin, she manipulated the wind, it used to hold me also. It was beautiful but noting like the trip to heaven. 

        I backed away and shook my head, I need to get over this, all I think about are the good parts. She left you there, you almost committed suicide, don't call it a heaven call it hell, she left you and a hell far worse than the one of past has settled upon you, I recited, I didn't believe a word but it wasn't false either. The words were just statements that made sense but were not good enough as consolation for my pain. 

           Getting dressed I wondered about her, and where she was now. She was probably happy and not thinking anything about me. I don't need this crap, I don't need to feel this, this is it. I won't think of you, with that thought I left to the docks. The little hut by the docks was my office, it was nice and quiet, and boats came and went with shipments for the towns around here. 

  Walking past the first set of rental boats, I thought on how life was better this way. I couldn't pretend that I was okay yet, but soon I would be and Quistis would be just another name. 

No real emotions would stir from it, no thoughts resurface when its said, soon I thought

"Soon. ... ."  

       Quistis sighed as she sat down; the gang looked at her sympathetically. She had just finished briefing Cid and Squall on the entire mission, all four months of the boring and dull details that would put her to sleep like a baby. She saw them too, squall's head would nod off and cid would've to nudge him. They would rotate because both would fall asleep. She would even have to cough when they both nodded off at the same time. 

        Now here she was, tray in front of her and her head in her arms as she used it for a pillow. The briefing had been at five in the morning, she'd not been happy. Zell looked at her and the food, eyes wide and shifting rapidly. Quistis paid no attention. Rinoa and Selphie patted her and looked on to see squall enter the cafeteria, skip the food and go straight to the table. 

"Quistis, your report was tedious." he said sitting next to his princess. Lifting her head she passed Zell the tray before he fainted from a hotdog heart attack as she told him.                            

"No one told you to ask me for it." 

"Hey Quistis how was the mission." Rinoa asked after draping herself on squalls shoulders, Quistis looked at her weird. 

"Don't start it Rin," he warned. 

"Terrible, and it was pointless because Mother Nature screwed me over." in more ways than one, 

she added mentally to herself. Selphie picked a fry and munched as she sat on Irvine, he held her with a arm around her waist as he talked to Zell. 

"Zell, stop talking your-......" suddenly Zell started to jump and wail his arms frantically as he stood up. Irvine in the background, laughing, and Squall sighed. 

"Choke" Quistis finished as Amy came delivering a hard backslap and the hotdog bit came flying onto the table. Irvine was doubled over and Selphie was stuck inside of his coat somewhere whining about space, Rinoa covered her mouth while she giggled, squall looked......like if this had happened too many times.

"Ewww!" 

"That's gross Zell!" 

"Tha...thanks Amy, baby, you saved my life!" he told her loudly, Amy blushed and sat down, they had been going out for a while. More often than not does she have to slap his back to keep him from choking to death.

     A week and three days since the bar in Bass bay, she thought absent-mindedly; as she pretended to hear Rinoa tell Selphie about something that she had gotten from the store the other day. Looks like I will be able to put it behind me after all, thank hyne. She tuned in as Rinoa asked her what she thought of the pattern, Selphie told her that it was perfect, so she agreed.

   Her room lighted with a peach-like lightness and she felt at home, she tugged off her boots, stripped off her vest, and walked into her bathroom. The water encompassed her being as she stood there washing her tense muscles away, the water slid and curved out her body, falling it traced her body, her sweat it was washed away. The outline drawn out with the water as it reached the drain was of her. The soapsuds slid down with the water leaving only clean pale skin, the freckles on her back, the scars of battle and time, all clearer than before. 

            The whip was a hard weapon to wield expertly as she did, the scars, they are never going to completely disappear. She knew this, she didn't care. She loved her save the queen and wouldn't trade her whip for any other weapon in the world. A slender hand twisted the water off, while the other got a towel. The small bathroom all fogged, the white towel wrapped around her slim but still equip figure. She dressed and walked to the cafeteria and fell into the quietness of the halls with ease. 

        The cafeteria was empty except for the lunch women in the kitchen, quietly she went to the stand and got some tea, and snatched a peach from a basket and left to her room. The lunch women saw her and they smiled to themselves, Quistis was always one of the few residents that snuck in on occasion and grabbed some food. As she walked carefully back to her room, she saw faculty, sliding into a shadow she waited till the past and casually continued walking back to her dorm as if it were two in the afternoon and not nine thirty. 

 Squall sat down with his coffee in his office, he had been called up at midnight to be briefed on a situation that Cid had told him was of importance, Edea had called him, she was very upset and was very unsettled. Sighing he drank the hot liquid and let its contents reach his stomach. 

"Squall, you can come in now." cid informed him as his head popped out of his office. Squall got up and walked in. Edea stood to the left of Cids' desk and briskly walked up to squall when he entered. Squall returned the hug and sat down as she backed away to cid again. 

"What's going on?" he asked them with his eyes as he watched them. Edea spoke up understanding his stare.

"I feel that a dark presence is nearing", squall wanted to give her the look one would give a child for bothering the adults, Edea smiled and continued.

"This is serious, we are talking about alterations."

"Alterations?" he asked unsure, for the first time that night speaking. His voice dry still and he had to clear it from the lack of use that night.

"Yes, human alterations, things that can't be changed, something's have already been compromised with; I can see it in the stars. It's been rosed on, hidden from site, I can't track any changes. In fact it was luck I tripped upon the falling star that revealed the message of danger to come." Edea revealed, and squall thought she was being too mystic for his tastes. Sighing he shook his head.

"We'll be cautious but there's not much we can do." he told them, Edea got the feeling that this wasn't being taken seriously enough. 

"Squall this could change lives, as in who is alive and who exists and who doesn't." Edea added worriedly. Frowning he hunched down to think.

"But we don't know what it is or who will attack us. What am I supposed to do?" he told them. 

"Be open and pay attention to things, I feel this is still far from now but when it does happen I need you to be ready, that's why a  record this conversation is being made because we'll need it later."

"Wait this isn't going to happen now? Then why tell me now?" he asked confused, recordings? He thought inwardly.

"Because this has a hidden agenda, and we might forget what happens. This is all very vague and the way that the message was displayed was as if signaling a start of events."

"Like a trigger? Starting things off....." he thought aloud. Might forget? He asked himself. 

"We can forget? What? Like it will erase our memories?" he asked right after his initial statement.

"Exactly, I fear all we can do is wait. I'm afraid that it will be forgotten about. In fact, I want everyone recording what he or she has done this week and for the past month today. I want it on the record, it could be useful later. Every single seed that went on a mission in the past few months interviewed and asked to give a brief and give a detailed summary of what happened on the mission. Have it done today. It's connected, something is connected. It's going to affect us all, only I don't know on what level." She finished. The silence cut as Cid got up and walked around to his window.

"This is garden, this is just too big to interview. I can't ask everyone to give in a interview."

"Not everyone, just everyone connected to us."

"Us?" squall asked.

"Basically, the first seeds of garden, the first and earliest still resident students that joined garden, 

I need the earliest dates only. Only the first year, I just need the first year students, second year as many as we can fit. And make sure to interview Zell, Selphie, Quistis, Irvine, Rinoa and yourselves as well." she told them, her voice strict like a mothers giving out chores. After the meeting, Cid let squall go take a few hours to sleep and to report at ten. Squall shrugged and walked out. His thoughts disappeared as he landed on his bed; he awkwardly threw the covers on him and was out in seconds. 

"Any chance you're mistaken?" asked squall before she boarded the Ragnorok that afternoon.

"There's more chances of this been false than it being real, that's what scares me. I saw it and I wasn't meant to, and it's full of misleading information for everyone. However, it was a miracle to see and to think that someone would go to the trouble to hide something no one could track anyway would be a waste. It was connected with so many different signs and planets that I thought it could apply to just about the entire world."

"Then why us? Why would you start with us? You're powerful." 

"The astronomy behind it squalls. It leads me to you."

"Me? Or garden in general?" 

"In a way it led to both, but promise to be careful, if anything happened to my children I wouldn't know what to do. I've already lost one." squall was then hugged by a very over emotionally matron that could give bears a money for their run. 

"Please relay the message to everyone else I have to go visit someone." she told him. She boarded the plane and stared out the window. The first is dead, but then why would the star go straight to him......Seifer was the first to go, ironically it was the first sign that happened to be crossed by the star, what now? She thought.  

The month seemed as though they would last forever. Squall slid over to Rinoa after the seventh hundredth interview. Her eyes were drooping and she was leaning on him tiredly, he sighed into her hair and released her. 

"Lets take a break, you have to be tired." he told her, she smiled and left the room. Squall looked around for someone who wouldn't have to lie. 

"Raise your hand if you can tell us exactly what you did all this half year that's important without having to lie." squall sighed and tried again.

"Who can tell me what they have done this past half year without lyig or changing your story." a few stepped forward and a few more. 

"Okay get the camera ready, we need only those who can tell the complete truth because this has to go fast." they nodded; the room crowded and cramped with people everywhere. 

            The second floor deck was even flooded. Since everyone decided, it would be best to hold the tapings in the second floor for space and convenient use of equipment in the classroom, the second and first floors had students waiting for the interview call. It had taken them a week to organize and find the proper records and where now just getting through the list of students... Quistis had spent her first weeks back at garden organizing things with Xu, now it was Zell, Selphie and Irvine's turn to video record and separate the tapes accordingly, it was painstakingly hard to do with all the students and conditions but they were finally managing. 

   Quistis hummed as she read the book in her hand, she was so tired of all that paperwork that if she saw anymore student number ids she would rip them off and throw them away. Rinoa grabbed water and some snacks and sat down beside her, Quistis looked up at her and then at the large sums of sugary filled junk food in front of her friend, she lifted a eyebrow in question.

"I haven't eaten all day and they have me wasting energy...sugar is energy." was all she gave 

Before she dug in, the chips being the first thing she started to eat. Rinoa usually ate normal amounts of that junk but when she working with magic she liked to feast, Quistis thought distractedly for a bit.

"So how's that going?" Quistis asked, referring to the sorceress' power.

"You wouldn't believe how many people lie about everything!." she said tiredly. Quistis chuckled at that, but it died down when she remembered what she had done at Bass bay.

She suddenly thought of something.

"Rinoa, do we have to do this too?" she asked, in side she was beginning to be given a break but no in the end, she was doomed.

"Of course." Rinoa looked oddly at her friend, seeing her dejected look.. 

"Why?" Quistis' head snapped up and she thought of a quick lie.

"If I have to explain that death-to-hyne boring mission one more time I might just die." she told the raven haired girl next to her, receiving a laugh she relaxed and settled comfortably back into reading as Rinoa ate. In the back of her mind, Quistis was frightened at the thought of reveling what had accidentally occurred. A month or so and now this happens, she thought as she gripped the book. 

"I'm going to go to my room Rinoa, good luck," she told her friend getting up, Rinoa smiled and waved as she left. Quistis she never has anything to hide, at least I don't have to worry about my friends, she thought as she remembered some of the things that people left off their reports. 

  Quistis closed her door and leaned against it, what am I supposed to do? She thought of every possible reaction and none were positive except for maybe Irvine's. Wait! We will probably be done last. In addition, there are one too many students to handle right now; I have time I just can't panic.

                She supposed she could say that she had already briefed them on the mission, and that it would be a waste of tape, and to let her tell them everything she's been up to, before, and after, the mission. Shaking her head, she wondered why this had to happen to her? Again why she didn't fell dishonored that she did this and lied; It was the strangest thing, the refusal to rebuke herself for her actions. Her behavior was not that of a soldier and she didn't consider her mission and she failed the mission but still, she felt she got the better half of the deal. This concerned her, this was scaring her, to think she didn't care about something so important, instead thought sleeping around with someone she couldn't put a face to, that was important? Since when? She thought distressed, since when was this okay? Since when is Quistis Trepe the type to such things, thing is she isn't. She doesn't sleep around she never slept around so when was is right?. Everything in her mind told her it wasn't, everything else told her it was. 

next chapter: . . .. . .. .

Quistis is found out and some one tells her that she should....... 

What? Leave!!!!?

*************

please review and tell me what you think, and to all those who review and all the readers hope your enjoying. ^ ^.  Please give me some feedback if you can just click the button. You don't have to but it'd be nice if ya did. ; )


	6. chapter 6

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: not mine..............anybody still reading this.enjoy. Reviews aren't necessary since I'm doing this for myself. Sounds selfish, its not. Its for you too. All readers are loved, all passerby's too. 

chapter 6 ----------

               It had been three weeks of nonsense, from the students from the residents' altogether. The tapes were a mess; someone decided to play with them and got them spilt over the office floor. Now everyone has to go through the different names and separate them as they review the tapes, since the second thing that met the tapes was rain. Someone had left a cigarette on and it burned the trashcan, then the sprinklers came on and smudged off all the labels. Now, three weeks later the tapes are still being reviewed and interviews are still going on. So far, the orphanage gang is back to square one. Much to Quistis' relief, though she did have to deal with reorganizing it was better than telling her personals to the camera. It had been over two months since she came, two months since this started, and they haven't been able to interview any of the gang. Quistis had been working all last night in those tapes and when she got to bed, it was late. 

**

      She stared down at her hands, the blood dripping from the tips. She silently paced herself as she tried to walk back to the room. The smudges left her prints, her breathes were loud. She hadn't been crying, so who was crying? She asked herself. Slowly, down the dark hallway she made her way to a room. It seemed to take her a lifetime to reach it. 

          The sensations of every emotion that was rushing at her sent her mind whirling. Each step was unfocused and tentative as she stared gapingly at the door in front of her. The floor was so hard against her feet, every step pounded into her feet. The atmosphere was naturally black and white. This seemed so natural to her at the time, like it would be a sin to have the setting with color. As though it was inappropriate, that's exactly what color would have felt like! She thought shortly before another loud sob of anguish filled and flew from the room. 

       Her eyes were clouded by something, or had they been clouded all her life and were now clear. Whatever the case, she was sure of what she had to do. Only thing she feared now was the reaction towards what she was going to try. To pick up a broken glass is to risk both breaking it even more beyond repair and to risk cutting yourself. 

She held the handle in place, thin delicate but strong hands slowly turned the knob and with her eyes locked as the door opened, she entered. 

**

  


    Still in a dream-like state, she clutched her stomach as she felt her head spin inside her brain. She opened her eyes expecting to find the person behind the door only to meet with the white sheets. Wide eyed she ran into her bathroom, the liquids seemed to dance in her passage of food before erupting. 

              The sick sound of her throwing up was wrongly even to her. Sighing as the terrible episode ended she sat on the floor of the bathroom positioned by the toilet with her hands folded in front of her and her head resting against them as she felt a light headedness consume  her. With a sicken face she lifted herself off the floor after a few minutes. She had bags under her eyes, probably from getting to bed so late she assumed. Groaning from the aftertaste, she flushed the toilet and sprayed some flagrance before grabbing her toothbrush and repeatedly scrubbing her tongue.              

 She walked out of the bathroom; maybe she was catching a cold. She usually never got sick, it was from the constant training it had built up her immune system, and so what was wrong with her? People don't normally throw up for no reason, she reasoned. She mentally went over the possibilities of her sudden sickness: bad weather and climate change....not possible and even if it was plausible the fact the it had to be a rapid change in temperature she hadn't been anyplace. Food? ........then she realized she was eliminating possible vomit reasons and thought that being a seed has really messed with her head. What if I'm just catching a bug, I can't get paranoid, what am I getting worked up over? nothing. I need to relax. Just then she suddenly had a urge to flee to the toilet to throw up the toothpaste taste from her mouth. After her stomach emptied yet again she sighed as she got out. 

             Having no idea of why she was throwing up so much she told herself that if it happened again she would see Dr. Kadowaki for a check up. What if she had gotten a bug? She had to make sure. She got her change of clothes and went back into the bathroom, turning on the water she needed to get rid of that feeling of vomit. She took a long shower with the water soothing her muscles and cleansing her from the stench of herself. 

        When she got the main hallway, she had thought of, first, going to the cafeteria. The cafeteria had long lines and hotdogs, this thought made her change her mind. She went to the parking garage and walked onto the street feeling just a little hungrier than normal, this was normal since she threw up on an empty stomach. She used the parking lots driveway to get out of garden it was faster then walking traversing by the front gate. 

                Balamb was only a thirty minute walk anyway she thought. She kept to the roads and took in her surrounding just to observe things. In seed you didn't do that much, mostly because you're to busy running or chasing or fighting your way out of something to stop and say hey look at the beautiful tree! She thought pointlessly as she walked. 

          When she went inside the town she was greeted with the pleasant smell of the harbor, though Balamb itself was and island when you got into the towns the smell always got stronger. She loved its smell, it was the kind of thing that wouldn't bother anyone who smelled it. She walked by ma Dinchts' house and before passing it completely she bit her bottom lip and wondered if she should pay a visit, in the end she knocked and waited for the lady to open up for her. Smiling she entered the small pleasant home, Ma Dincht smiled warmly at her before turning to close the door.

 "My dear! Quistis come in! Make yourself at home, any friend of Zells is welcome here." she told her when she noticed Quistis stand by the door like a stranger. Quistis smiled and walked to seat in a chair by the kitchen. Ma Dincht looked at her for a moment, thinking over something.

"Would you like some breakfast Quistis?" she asked the blonde-haired woman. 

"Oh I couldn't possibly!" Quistis was hungry but she wasn't going to impose.

"Nonsense! Come now, what would you like?" Ma Dincht was already setting up the kitchen before she had Quistis' answer. Quistis shrugged and thought, well, it would save me money and I'll have some company. 

"Well, if it's not too much trouble Ma Dincht. What are you making?" she asked as Ma Dincht rummaged through the kitchen.

"I have pancakes, eggs, bacon, and Zells favorite: hotdogs, oatmeal, fruit, fish, cereal, your pick Quistis." Quistis sighed; she was always so nice to the gang.

"Ma Dincht I shouldn't be bothering you." she spoke as she got up to leave. Ma Dincht shut her up and forced her to sit back down as she muttered about how kids today did not know how to take a offer and please their elders. Quistis chuckled under her breathe.

" well, then, I know this sounds strange but if you could make some oatmeal and boil an egg I'd really appreciate it ma Dincht." she told her, ma Dincht hummed as she worked in her kitchen the foods smell got to Quistis and her stomach made complained about the lack of. Tutting ma Dincht took something out of the frig and put it on the table. 

"Dear I say don't they feed you at that garden!" setting the plate down she turned back to the food. Quistis looked at the mini-sandwiches of some kind of stuffing or something taking a bite she waited for it to settle in her stomach. And Quistis suddenly had the urge to use the bathroom. Running towards where she remembered the bathroom being the last time she came she retched into the toilet for the third time that morning. Sighing she rested her head against her arm while the other held her stomach. Ma Dincht was standing over her with a strange expression on her face. 

 "Are you feeling alright?" she asked Quistis softly as she walked into the small room and held the girls hair as she felt the need to deposit nothing all over again. Coughing she took the offered water and sipped it cautiously afraid of negative reaction. Ma Dincht thought of what this reminded her of and she asked Quistis one thing. 

"Quistis have you gone to a doctor?" she looked at the woman on her bathroom floor and watched as a frown appeared there. 

"Why would I need to? It could be a cold? Its only happened today. Ma Dincht I'm fine really I've just had a bad morning." she explained. Ma Dincht was skeptical and the fact remained that it wasn't normal for a perfectly health young woman was vomiting a bite of her famous sandwiches. A thought occurred to her. 

"Are you sick?" she asked the blonde-haired woman.

"No Ma Dincht really its nothing." Ma Dincht sighed in relief and helped the girl up as the waked back to the kitchen. Once they sat down Ma Dincht stared with an interrogation. 

"Why did you throw up?" she asked after looking at Quistis. Quistis looked at her with unknowing eyes.

"I'm not sure, I just had to.," she stated after a second, the doubt apparent.

"When did this start? Is this the first time this has happened?" Ma Dincht asked in a more understanding tone.

"No... its happened this morning before I came into to town. Twice" Quistis told her, her voice steady despite her current embarrassed state. 

"How do you feel?" Ma Dincht asked.

"I got light headed after I threw up but I just feel hungry now. I haven't eaten anything today and I've retched three times." ma Dincht got up and gave her the oatmeal and egg she had cooked. She continued talking.

"So what do you think it is?" she asked as she watched the girl smash the egg into the oatmeal, mixing the two foods into one strange looking oatmeal, strangely after she added sweet and sour sauce. 

"I'm not sure, it's probably just something I ate or a cold or bug." she told her as she ate the meal, Ma Dincht frowned and began eating her own food.

"I want you to visit a doctor." she told her stubbornly. Quistis shook her head as they stood outside, Quistis was eager to leave already, the woman was a saint but a very persistent one.

"Ma Dincht. I can take care of myself." she told her, I do not need anyone telling me how to take care of myself I've been doing so all my life, she thought. 

"Now, I know this Quistis, but well, remember when you made Zell go see a doctor when you were both training and he got hurt?" she told her. Quistis thought back, shook her head.

"He fractured a ligament...you made him go to the doctor in garden...well, he told me the story, anyway, you made him go. Now I"m making you go."

"Ma Dincht this is completely different." she told her after she remembered. 

"Quistis! Don't be a hypocrite." 

         Quistis always knew Ma Dincht cared for the gang a lot, and she knew that Ma Dincht knew about how they were all in the orphanage together, maybe that's why she treats us like family, she mused as she prepared for hug hell. Quistis shook her head and mumbled a yes ma'am before she was pulled into a fierce hug, smiling to herself she left with a wave. 

"Call me after you see the doctor I want to know what they say!" before she went inside, she told her. Quistis walked back to the garden after that, still a little hungry, she thought. Back at Garden, she went first to the cafeteria to see the gang and then she headed to the infirmary. 

The doors opened releasing a gust of wind, the lightness of the corridor a comfort to her. The clearness of the day will never be forgotten and the number of steps, even they'd be remembered by her. Briefly, for no reason known to her she remembered the day of the field exam..........

             The day was early and she had just finished taking a student to the fire cavern to get a G.Fs. she was walking back to her room to get changed when a figure brushed past her. A rough hand brushed hers and she chilled from the suddenness of it, she wasn't used to it. She looked at her hand as she brought it in front of her face. Her brows lifted in surprise as the blood dripped from her finger tips looking up quickly she saw the one person who she didn't expect to be there....Seifer! 

           She saw him lift his hand to his face for a second before he brought it down again, being careful not to dirty his coat in the process. She rolled her eyes at that and ran up to him, the closer she got the more banged up he looked. Shaking her head she ran in front of him and stopped him, he didn't so much as blink before walking around her. Growling he pushed her when she tried to help him when he had lost balance; a part of her always hurt when he pushed her away. He pushed her off and then hissed as a arm wound taunted his strength. She went back up to walk next to him; he looked at the blood drip down in front of his face as he growled.

"Leave me alone...Trepe**!**" he said it harshly, she winced and closed her eyes and lowered her gaze before walking away. she looked back as he stumbled past the rooms biting her lip she frowned but kept to her own way. It was early so not a lot of people were wandering the halls, when Quistis heard the thud of a body fall to the ground she knew immediately who it was. Turning around she saw him collapsed and for the first time she noticed the three slashes across his back. They had seeped through the coat. Gasping she ran back to him and kneeled as she grabbed his arms and helped him up. His heavy frame surrounded hers, with some effort and a few mild curses from him she got him up. 

Digging around his pocket, she found his keycard. He had collapsed in front a door so she tried it, hoping it was his she slipped it through. Several beeps later it opened, she smiled at the easiness and then remembered who she was dealing with and almost cursed at her bad luck, he would be pissed. .......I could just dump him in the room and leave, she thought but right after felt terrible thinking about doing that to him. She didn't know why she couldn't just deposit him on the floor and leave, but some of her just felt wrong not helping him. 

   After closing the door she set him down on the bed and crawled out from under him, he was unconscious so far but she was being quiet because if he woke up he would scream and kick and be a big ass about it. She disentangled his hand from his gunblade and belt and then took off his gray trench coat. The blue vest literally dampened with his sweat and blood. After removing that, she took off his pants, albeit after a few minutes of inner debating. She was surprised at the beating he took. He had a few scratches on his thighs and calves had bruises, his looked trampled on. She thought of what could've done this to him and breathed out as she turned him over seeing the slashes. Three clawed wounds were still flowing out blood, not a lot but it wasn't stopping. She concluded that he ran into a T-Rexsuar, and being Seifer he didn't run, the prick she thought. She took some cures from her stock and prepared to use the little she had left on him, what a waste she thought briefly before focusing on his wounds. 

   Seifer awoke by the tingling sensation of a warm and cold flush in his system. He felt certain areas of his leg react to it by stretching and pulling of muscles, the blood in his veins went cold, icy and then warmed almost seconds later, he opened his eyes to see black. Moving his head, he found his bedroom wall. When did I get to bed? He asked himself. He looked the other way and saw Quistis' face as her hands were above his back now. He was about to say something when a different sensation overtook his torso. It felt like million of fingertips were sliding around certain areas.......... were his slashes were. So slow he thought, it felt like if sand was washing over him, but it wasn't rough it was sensitive and calm. So strange he thought briefly. He looked at her and saw her eyelids flutter as she did whatever she was doing to heal him. Why is she helping me? I  can take care of myself, that's why you were beaten to hell by a dinosaur, and then collapsed, a little voice told him. He opened his eyes only just realizing he had closed them to see Quistis eyes glow for a second, his mouth hung open as he saw her little change. Millisecond later she opened them completely and the slashes tingled one last time before he felt the same stretching. His back stayed warm for a few minutes before that went away also. She seemed dazed and he was staring at her trying to figure out what the hell she did. That was no cure spell, he told himself as he saw her eyes focus on his. Tears brimming them, probably from what she did for him. 

"Seifer?...." she asked, for a second he thought he saw her look through him confused, unsure of why she was here. What the hell did she do? He asked himself again. She seemed to answer is unasked question. He was so close to her, he could smell her.

"I cured you. I ran out of cures just before I got to your back. I had to use my own energy." she told him vaguely. He frowned about to scream at her but just before he did something else came out of his mouth. I can be nice, she won't think anything of it……fuck! I'm a chicken wuss if I think I care about what she thinks! He thought to himself.

"Thanks..." he told her. why? He thought. He saw her leaning towards his face, he lost his frown of anger and replaced by confusion and wonder, she smiled at him and tried something to help it get better. Her breathe passed over his face, the whirling breathe covered his eyes before it was absorbed by the gash on his face, healing it considerably. She backed off; sighing out of exhaustion, she got up and walked to a chair. Damn, so close, he thought. 

"Sorry I can't make the scar go away." she said slowly, trying out her tongue, I wish I could try out her tongue, he thought distractedly. He smiled inwardly at the thought, I always.....hyne forbid he thought ever out the word,(a/n: okay, what that meant was that what he was thinking was taboo so he didn't even let himself think it out in his head) doesn't mean I'll be nice though, he reasoned with himself. 

"Why the hell did you do that?" he asked with his regular tone arrogant tone. She looked at him, her eyes avoiding his, in case he could see behind the glasses. 

"Might as well, right? Well, I have to leave. I reek of your blood." she told him before she went for the door. He got up and walked up to her, stopping her from leaving. She turned around by the pull and came face to face with him. A hand came up to wipe a tear that had escaped her eyes, unknowing from her. She didn't know she had cried, when did I cry? She asked herself. She blinked in confusion and a few more tears escaped. His hand moved to remove them; she would never forget the gesture. It wasn't like Seifer, it was gentle and soft. The movements slow and careful as his lips came to thank hers. Soft as cotton, he didn't penetrate her mouth but it was like they danced. His bottom lip moved with her bottom lip and his right lip rubbed with her right. Each and every line accounted for and every move was slow so it tingled. He broke away and whispered a special thanks to her before she turned around stunned and walked away.  

**

Looking around she grabbed her head, getting a memory awake was too much for her head. She looked in front of her, the doctors' office? She asked herself, the memory still having a thought consuming affect on her. She walked in, the doors sliding open with a hiss like sound.

********************************


	7. chapter 7: what!

Disclaimer: I own nothing, but what I write is still mine. 

Disclaimer: I own nothing, well, the story is mine, but not the characters. I would like them for Christmas, would that work for you? 

**                                        Chapter 7:             What?! **

               SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Dr.kadowaski hummed to herself as she settled her papers in her desk. She heard the door swish open and waited for the voice to follow, when none did she turned to find Quistis staring into space, lift a eyebrow she cleared her throat. Quistis was still dazed, but she had a small smile appear in her face. The good doctor chuckled at her favorite card player before she patted her on the shoulder to wake her sudden trance; Quistis blinked back the memory and looked at Dr.kadowaski. 

"Sorry, I was just thinking." she explained, Dr.kadowaski shook her head and then pointed to a chair in front of her desk. 

"No need to apologize Quistis, so what brings you here?" she asked the girl. Quistis sighed and sat on the proffered chair.

"Well, I wanted a check up. I think I might be coming down with something. This morning I was so sick to my stomach I threw up twice, then when I got to Balamb a while later, a threw up again." she told. Dr.kadowaski frowned a bit.

"Anything else?" she asked.

"No. That's all that happened.

"When did this start?" Dr. Kadowaki asked.

"Today." 

"How did it start? What happened when you woke up?" 

"I told you. I threw up, it was the second thing I did that morning, first was running out of bed, then it was the toilet and then after I brushed my teeth I threw up again." she old her.

"Okay, well take some tests and see if everything's normal and then....well see."

"Alright." Quistis felt a bit nervous for some reason, she was never comfortable in the hospitals or with doctors if they were checking on her. That was just something she'd have to deal with.

After her heart beat was checked, her breathing, eyes, hears, temperature, throat, Dr. Kadowaki took some blood, Quistis asked why but all she got as an answer was it was standard procedure. 

"Okay Quistis, we're done, you can go I've a suspicion of what you have but I'm not sure yet so until I get the results back from the lab I can't make a decision. Just so you know your p[perfectly fine, your completely normal, but I think its better safe than sorry. So I'll call you down later today with the results." Quistis was confused by the doctor for the first time in a long time. She had just contradicted herself. 

"I thought that I was normal, why would I have anything if I'm fine?" she asked. 

  


"Oh? Well you have a co0ndiction but it could be completely natural, then again I might be mistaken." she told her with a sudden happiness. Quistis thought of it strange but ignored it and left.  It was already fifteen hundred hours when Quistis got out of the Infirmary, she walked to the cafeteria to hang with everyone, they should be there now, she thought as she walked around the big apple to the cafeteria. Irvine and Selphie were talking but there wasn't anybody else there. 

Well, Selphie's talking, Irvine's' nodding his head as he looked at her, she rephrased. She got in line and waited to get her food.

"Hey Quistis, where have you been?" Selphie asked her as she grabbed fries from her plate.

"Oh hey you don't mind right?" she asked Quistis, waving the fries in the air. Quistis smiled and shook her head. 

"I was with Dr.kadowaski." she told them, Irvine tuned in.

"Why? Are you sick?" he asked with a eyebrow rise.

"No, just a regular check up, I'm fine." she told them. Selphie ate a few more fries and then started talking about the garden festival. Quistis started eating when she got to the middle of the hamburger she put it down and stood up. Selphie stopped talking when she saw Quistis hold a hand to her mouth. Frowning Irvine stood up also about to ask what was wrong when she ran away from the table into the cafeteria restroom. Selphie followed close behind and went she got into the bathroom she winced at the throwing up she heard. 

"Quistis are you okay?" she didn't get a reply and using her head picked the stall closest to the door, inside Quistis was doubled over throwing up her hamburger and fries. Selphie quickly held her hair out of the way as she did what she needed. Several minutes later Quistis was holding on to the door for support as she got a major head ache. 

"What's wrong?" she asked, Quistis looked at her and shrugged.

"I don't know, its probably just hat I came back from the doctor. It makes me sick when they take blood and check up on you." she told her, Selphie smiled, sympathetically as she got some paper towels for Quistis.

"Okay if you're sure?" 

Yeah its just I've had a bad stomach today and the nerves were just a little too much for my stomach." she told her friend with a smile, Selphie shook her head and laughed, apologizing when she was finished, Quistis laughed also and then told her not to worry.

"Hey, crisis resolved?" he asked when he saw them walk out of the ladies room looking normal. 

"Yeah." Quistis told him.

       The phone rang around at twenty hundred hours, Quistis picked it up, her room was neatly organized and the phone was on her nightstand. She was reading a book when the call came; she was wearing a pair of gray sweat pants and a green tank top.

"Hello?" Quistis answered, she waited on the phone for a second and frowned. 

"No....why?" Quistis answered again, she sat down on the chair suddenly.

"What? Yes it's normal, I train a lot." she explained, as she moved to her bed.

"No, I should get it soon why?" she asked, she was still standing before her bed when it hit her.

"Wha......" she looked up at the mirror on the other side of the room. Her pale face and wide 

eyes were apparent. She stopped breathing.

"What?!" she cried. They asked another question.

"Well, no I haven't.......holy shit." she suddenly knew and then she dropped the phone. The words, the conversation rang out in her head like a car accident. She couldn't stop saying it, the word repeated over and over again in her head.

"Pregnant...."

"I'm pregnant?"

"I'm pregnant"

"Pregnant"

"As in baby"

"Baby?"

"A baby"

"I'm pregnant."

"Oh hyne, I'm pregnant"

"I'm pregnant"

 It processed and she ran to the bathroom, puking sounds could be heard from outside the bathroom. She came out of the bathroom and collapsed on the bed. She was dazed; barely still awake she ran her hands on her stomach. Something is alive, inside me. What do I do with it? She thought, can I really have a baby? No, I can't have a kid, no way; I can't possible care for another human being. What do I do with it? Could I get rid of it? no! I can't do that. I made it, I should.......raise it? Oh hyne, I'm pregnant. What the hell do I do about garden? I can't under any circumstances stay here with a kid. Inside of me. What if I get sent on a mission? What if the baby gets attacked or hurt while on a mission. I could lose it, when did I become so protective? I need to leave garden I can't risk it, I have to protect it, it's a life. I have to talk to Cid, tell him the truth, but he'll want to know who the father is..........oh shit. 

             Oh hyne the mission, I had gotten it on the mission, they would suspend me for lying, for giving up and for failing to follow orders. I can't let him know it. Doctor Kadowaki doesn't know much, if I could convince her to keep quiet I could take a vacation. But what happens when I come back? I could say I had run into an old flame? No I can't lie anymore, I could stretch more truth and just say that its what I did on my vacation, instead of on my mission, she rolled her eyes at that thought. Whatever.... I have nine months to think about it. Ugh! Nine months, what am I going to do for nine months? It's a good thing I have time to think about what I'm going to do with you; she thought has she patted her stomach. What about the father? She thought suddenly.       

             In the two months Seifer's been living in that house he had changed it a bit. He fixed the room that had the window on the roof and made it so that the whole room was greeted with the sky; the ceiling ran down so the rain could fall to the ground from the glass-like plastic ceiling. The rooms were given furniture, not much because he had no use for them all but he did put up a training room of sorts in one of the rooms, the others lacked much detail and he took the biggest room of the house. 

               The first one, he put a good bed in it and added some furniture and stocked the refrigerator with beer and food. He was getting along well with the fishermen, and the boats that pasted by would tell others about his docks and he would get more business. Danny had also called him about picking up some rare fishing equipment to sell to the fishermen for double the price that he got them for, so Seifer had agreed to go to F.h in a few days and then if he had the time he would stop by a few towns and see if he could sell some around before heading back. 

 He stood in his room, looking for something, under the bed, in the closet. Seifer cursed and walked into the hallway. Walking into the room next to his he looked around. It was given a bed, the walls painted orange, and the closet facing the wall of Seifer's room. He sighed when he didn't see it in there. Back in the hallway he walked across to the room in front of the one he came out of. The duffle bag was there sitting on a chair by a desk. He cursed and roughly grabbed it before heading back to his room. 

From the drawer he threw some underwear behind him, then some clothes, not bothering to go through it he just picked random articles and threw it behind him onto his bed. The docks were pretty much empty, the day was clear and the waters were calm. Grinning he met up with the crewmembers of the boat. They greeted him nicely enough and he got onboard. The boat was big, a shrimp boat. Seifer talked to some of them as he waited for the captain to finish his business before they took off for F.h. 

"Quistis? What brings you up here?" Cid asked the next day. Quistis saluted and when cid motioned for her to sit down she did.

"I need to get out of garden." she told him quietly. Cid was more than startled and frowned.

", why would you want to leave garden?" he asked.

"I need to.....I feel like I'm dying in here, al I do is go on missions or paper work. I want to see 

Places and travel without worrying about being shot or caught or without having to hide from others. Missions are too demanding for me to relax and see the places I go to. I feel I need to experience things differently sir. 

"Quistis, I can't let you go, your one of our best and most valuable seeds. I'm sorry I can't grant you this." cid told her.

"I need to get away. If I could have some time to see Gaia I would come back when I feel I'm ready. Please sir you know I never ask for a vacation or any time off and I've never taken any time." she explained, though she was full of it, he bought it. 

"Alright Quistis, I'll let you go. You can take a few months off and come back when you can work without doubt. I saw how you failed that mission. Was that by any chance related to this issue?" he asked. 

"Yes it was, this line of thinking was distracting me, and I feel this will satisfy my need to relax. Thank you sir." Quistis told him, inside she was screaming, liar! Liar! Smiling she stood and saluted.

"Oh by the way Quistis, when do you plan to leave garden?" he asked as he stood also.

"As soon as possible sir." she told him as she went to the door, cid smiled and handed her a piece of paper. It was her savings account from garden. 

"Now don't waste it all." he told her, she thought that it was like that of a fathers tone but she didn't know what that sounded like, she didn't have a father. 

           Sure she had been adopted but that wasn't they way her so called father talked. She left to her room to get packed; before she did she stopped by Dr.kadowaski's office. She stood outside of the office, looking at the doors before she turned around. I can see her after I pack, plus I don't think I could handle any surprises, I need to read up on this. I need to go to the library.....no I can't Amy will find out, I'll have to look it up online, she planned as she walked. The hallways were empty as she made her way to her dorm room to use her computer and pack. When she got off the computer her face paled……I'm ….really….pregnant…..and then she shuttered from the horror of everything the sites said. 

         Quistis had always been a strong person but she wasn't sure if she could do this, I need to set the good doctor straight she can't tell a soul, she thought as walked to the infirmary for the second time that day, the halls were quieter than usual, silence was bliss to her. In this way, the halls were encouraging her with the echoes of every step she took. The thoughts that ran through her head were deafening even to her, and there it was the doors to the infirmary, confrontation, on a subject she had rapidly become very sensitive to. Not because of the baby itself, but that the act to get the baby itself was sensitive, she felt it, and instead of regret, there were countless of other emotions and thoughts on the issue that were running in the back of her head constantly reminding her. The only thing she regrets is not remembering, because in there lies understanding and then she would know, what happened? Because she doesn't, so it bothers her. 

            Quistis had a vague idea of what would be said in there, but she kept every possible question and reaction in mind, preparing herself and her mask she blinked away the uncertainty from her face and walked in. the doctor at her desk filing away as usual. 

"Yes?" the doctor asked not looking up. 

"You can't tell anyone about the baby." She spoke, her voice firm and unwavering. The doctor's head snapped up and met with determined blue ones, smiling kindly the doctor nodded as she walked over to Quistis and hugged her. 

"Quistis? Do you want to talk about it?" she asked as the blonde haired woman sat down.  

"I'm not sure. Cid can't know, I'm leaving garden for the time of this pregnancy and Cid thinks I just need time away." She told her. Dr. Kadowaski looked startled for a second before walking back to her desk, after thinking she nodded understandingly. 

"You know Quistis you can't hide this forever. What are you planning on doing?" the doctor asked softly as she sat in her chair.

"I don't know honestly, I've never thought of this kind of problem, I'm not going to doing anything bad to it, I can't, but I need to get away from here, please don't tell anyone anything about it. When I get back, I'll settle everything." She told  Dr. Kadowaski, after she told Quistis a few things she needed to know and about some side effects that might scare her, the good doctor bid her farewell. 

I'd like to thank my reviewer, boggart….thank you, and please stay tuned for the next chapter. Which I have no idea when it will show up. These things aren't planned, but be patient, it'll work out. ^_- 


	8. leaving it behind

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them, please Santa, I wanna own at least Seifer......maybe you could give him Quistis and I could have a set.. *_*....I wish, anyways look at that I got two more reviews, thanks to Quistis 88, its good to have you back, hope your enjoying the story.....boggart: yes I know, exciting isn't it? Thanks for the reviews, on with the fic. 

        Leaving behind the familiar.   . . this is chapter eight. 

            Quistis stopped reading the book that Dr. Kadowaski gave her for now, it seemed like that there was so many things she needed to remember about this pregnancy thing that she would never get it straight. Sighing, the clock read eight fifteen. She got up and left to the cafeteria for a bit to eat, so slowly did she tread, as she thought about everything. Things had suddenly changed completely and everything that felt important were nothing compared to......she patted her stomach as she thought this. You will just have to be a secret till I get back with another story for you.......why don't I feel worried? She thought. 

           She smiled a little at the easiness she felt with all of this; maybe it's a mood swing? Would I notice if I have one of those? Is it too early? I don't get this! She mused as she made her way to the counter; she grabbed a apple and some milk before making her way to a table, and opening her milk to take a sip. Squall pulled a chair and sat across from her, eating a burger he was a silent as ever. Quistis looked at him for a second afraid he found out, what if he knows? What would he think? She thought.

"Quistis, cid told me you wanted to leave garden for a while?" he stated, a nod confirmed his 

Source. He looked at her and then back at the burger. 

"What for?" he asked monotonously, as he took another bite. 

"I need to get away for a while, I'm missing something." she told him, half honest, she had recently started seeing different sides of herself. His eyes held understanding, before going back to their cold stare.

"Yeah? I know what that's like." he told her after a while. When he finished with his meal he went to dispose of the trash. Going back to the table he planted a kiss on her head, he whispered to her. 

"I hope you find what your missing Quisty" she looked a little shocked at his sign of affection, he was always so cold, Rinoa really has changed him she thought briefly. He backed away and muttered a good bye as he left. Smiling she dumped her plastic tray and walked to her room.

  


She opened her closet; shaking her head she only had one big bag and a smaller one. She filled the big one with the jeans, skirts, and shoes, the next with tops, and bare essentials. She would have to buy anything else as she went along. A thought occurred to her..... Maternity clothes. Damn, this is a lot to deal with. She thought as she packed everything into little rolls to fit it all. 

   When she was done she walked to the parking lot and put the stuff in one of the rented cars from Balamb. Sighing she closed the trunk and walked back to the main hallway, she didn't know if she should say goodbye to everyone. No, I can't they would just make me want to stay, I need to do this now, if not I might back out, she thought as she made her way to the headmasters office.

         She let the doors slide open and walked up to Xu, smiling she asked to see the headmaster, after she got the okay she went in. The office always as warming and welcoming as ever, saluting she awaited instructions to sit. The chairs were comfortable, more comfortable than his staring, she was getting paranoid now. First squall, now Cid, I need to get out of here before I have a panic attack, she thought absentmindedly as she waited for him to start. 

"Quistis?" he addressed.

"Sir, requesting permission to leave garden at exactly nineteen hundreds hours." she asked, her tone restricted and professional as she did this. Cid nodded his head before he saluted and let her leave. Quistis smiled briefly before she bid him a good bye and left the office. 

  Her walk back to her car was slow; she was trying as hard as she could to memorize this into her head. She would be back, she knew it was the most obvious thing, but somewhere in her, she knew that was very unlikely. She didn't know why, she couldn't figure out anything that was her life. The halls started to come to a close as she turned and went into the parking lot. The yellow sign not overly lit but just enough to give her a familiar feeling. She reached the car, not looking back she turned it on, the engine revved, as she thought of the others, what will they say?... Please don't be mad, she thought as she shifted gears. Squall will tell them, he knows, what will they think? I hope, they can forgive me for leaving like this she thought as she pressed down on the accelerator. 

      The streetlights lit up the road to Balamb, her glasses reflecting the color. The trees passed slowly as her speed wasn't rapid. She was doing so on purpose, she looked at the window next to her for a second before she pulled to the side and stopped the car. Getting out she walked to the end of the car and starred at what would soon be behind her, looking at the garden from the outside was completely different from looking at it from the inside. Its size intimidating but still so welcoming with its brilliant colors, she smiled as she looked at it. The lights giving a glow to everything around it, she sighed as she got back into the car. 

      She stared straight ahead as her knuckles turned white from her grip, she was leaving them for a few months, what she didn't know was if that was true. Things were changing, faster than she could count the seconds by a clock. Her thoughts crammed into her head, her heartbeat was low even with the intense pounding in her ears. 

     It was ten when she pulled into the Balamb garage. She grabbed her stuff from the trunk and gave the key to the assistant. The train station was lit with orangey lights from the streets and she blew a stray hair that had wandered from her face out of the way. Here we go Quistis, she told herself as she looked at the station with her bags in her hands. 

"Three thousand gil for a ticket Miss?, where to?" he asked with a tried smile. She bit her lip and thought about where she should go. Dollet? The town popped into her head before anything else, but it's......Deling? Esthar? Hell, where to go?

"What trains are leaving now?" she asked.

"F.H, and Deling, is Miss." he told her.  

"One to F.H, please." she told the man handing him the notes of paper. The ticket rested on her hand as he told her that they were now boarding and would leave shortly. She picked her stuff up and walked to the platform, after getting in she went to her cabin and put her stuff down. She would go to Esthar from F.H. the doctors in Esthar, well, she wanted the best and she and then go to Deling so see for a place to stay, she decided after thinking of the possibility of being harassed by the newspaper reporters, if they saw her at the office level of maternity.

         Resting her hands on her knees she looked around. It was smaller than she was used to but she would have to get used to it. She wasn't working missions anymore. She lay down and starred at the ceiling as she thought of what she was going to do. She knew she had to go see a doctor soon, for the baby, but she wasn't ready yet. Dr.kadowaski wasn't specialized in that area so she couldn't do it but she told me to go find one that I should have a check up and see about certain things, she remembered as she processed that. 

   Falling asleep she let the train take her to her destination. Leroy sighed as he paid for his ticket to Deling, damn woman, what the hell is she doing leaving garden he thought. He had woken up to find her room empty and now he was chasing her to Deling. The worker who sold her the ticket told him that she bought a ticket to Deling, which was reasonable but why was she leaving he thought. Damn I should have paid more attention, the sorceress would have not been pleased, he thought as he got on the train. 

   Seifer docked at F.h the next night, the mayors' house lit the center of the town nicely, he jumped off the ship and walked down the docks to meet with Danny. Seifer was granted the pleasures of F.H winds and scents from the seas as he walked to the bar by the docks. The small bridge he crossed was old and worn. The place was well lit for a bar; Danny sat on a barstool, his mug full while he talked to some guy. Seifer walked up to him and they shook hands and he was introduced to the guy that got him the job down here. 

"So where you from Seifer?" he asked the blonde. 

"Oh from all over." 

"Hahaha, yeah I get that a lot." 

"Right. So how you been Dan?" 

"Good, got me a nice house, pays good, so good I can give you some of my inventory, you want to 

Leave now?" he asked.

"Nah lets drink some and talk. Haven't seen you in a while." he said.

"Alright...."

"So Seifer, what is it you specialize in?" he asked.

"Net fishing, but I usually trade with the other ships, and rent. But I'm real good with a net. Can't use a rod for crap though." he said. The man laughed and told him that he might be able to use him at F.h but Seifer declined saying he had a good place in Aires.

"Isn't that where you lived Danny?" 

"Yeah I gave him my place."

"Yeah, hey Dan, I just got here, I need to check into a hotel so I'm leaving alright." Danny looked at him strange.

"Nah men you can stay at my place don't spend your money, I'm the one that called you here, I should have you covered. Wait a minute and I'll show you where you can stay." he told Seifer as he paid the bartender and exchanged good byes with his boss. 

"Alright you can stay here. The couch pulls out, the frig is stocked and the bathroom is mine first, he told him taking off his cap. The small house was a one bedroom and bathroom, with a living room and dining room, and kitchen. It was by the docks so in the morning he could get the inventory and leave.

"Hey I got to leave after I get the stuff, I have guys that want to buy from me from a few of the cities and towns nearby but they are shipping out in a few days."

"No worries, tomorrow I'll get some guys to move the crates to the boat your using." he told him before he left the room. Seifer pulled out the bed and lay down, trying it out. He didn't sleep, instead after he ate something and brushed his teeth. (Can't neglect your gums and teeth ppl!) He went to bed and when everything was turned off. He didn't sleep, he couldn't sleep. 

**********************************

  Next one may take some time, but be patient; soon enough you'll get to read what happens. 


	9. traversing and following out

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1  SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them, I've asked people not to come an ask for seifer, he isn't mine and I can't sell him. Sighs* I wish...I wouldn't mine Irvine either.

 _Everything gets compromised sometimes-    ****_

****

             Fisherman's horizon. .                      

       Quistis got to F.h the next morning, the train jolted to a stop before she woke up. The red floored carpet made no protest to her boots as they came to stand on it, the cabin was warm despite the cool air outside and the small sofa bed was stiffer than her joints. Quistis stretched and sighed as she heard the announcement of arrival. She closed her eyes momentarily as she felt sick to her stomach again; she made a face as she ran into the small little washroom and found the toilet. When she finished puking she stood and looked up at her reflection. 

"I look like death." she told herself as she stood and looked at her complexion, paler...more so than usual. Her eyes had circles, her skin was kinda yellow and she looked like she suffered from malnourishment. Damn it all, she cursed silently, she looked like shit, and she knew she would look like shit all day because of the throwing up. 

"Make up..." she muttered as she brushed her teeth, carefully not to arise nausea from it. 

  She took her bags from their place on the floor and carried them out of the cabin ten minutes later, Quistis smiled a little, glad that the crowd wasn't as bad. She knew it was better to wait till most people got off. The station was still rusted and old and Quistis paid no attention to the stands inside the station. 

"Souvenirs! Umbrellas! Gifts for friends, all occasions!" some salesperson randomly called into the walk way. The trains' station was open and it had workers standing by the columns. The morning feeling was constant in F.H and she loved that about it, she was walking slowly now.

The group in front of her was slow; she bit her lip, impatient as she watched for a chance to get by. A lady about in her middle ages, early thirties, stopped suddenly and Quistis swore as she almost ran into the little girl that moved from in front of the lady. 

         Quistis observed them, clearly out of habit in Seed, as the woman wiped the little girls face with a handkerchief, the little girls' hand coming to help wipe off whatever it was, as she smeared some more of it on her face. The lady laughed momentarily before wiping that off as well. Quistis tried to get around them but the train lines for passengers boarding was massive to her left and the stands had people everywhere, personally Quistis didn't like the small tight spaces, or being crowded. 

  


          She was a claustrophobic and she was pushing her limit just being in this little human surrounded space at the very moment. She bit her lip the person in the back pushing her forward a bit. She frowned as the woman continued tending to her child, obviously, she was trying to find something now. Quistis tried to not concentrate on the people around her but on herself, she sighed as she saw the woman grab the child and walk briskly to the exit. 

      The people around her growing as another train arrived, Quistis concentrated on her breathing as she found the exit, and the stairs leading outside wasn't crowded at all. The people climbed the steps quickly, one runner going up and down them constantly. She looked out into the town square as she stepped down to the level ground. Stands and booths were selling things; she cut through the middle avoiding all of that.            

  Leroy cursed as he woke up with a sore back; the frickin chair was harder than a board. He looked up at the clock and tried to determine what time it was. Still night, he thought as he closed his eyes, he would get her, throw her to the sorceress and end this mission; finally he would finish what that bastard forbidden him to do. That lapdog was one confusing failure, he was so stuck on saving her worthless ass, he thought as he settled down. At least now he's out of the picture, and the little bitch will get what's coming to her, he grinned at that before falling into soundless sleep as the night ran on with the train. 

    The docks were a little larger than before, the peer had a few more aisles of boats and huts. Seifer looked over everything as they packed it into his boat, the crates taking up most of the room below deck. He sighed as he heard another thump come from his boat, this is going to take forever, he thought. Looking around he let his eyes travel around, Danny was a little off by the front of the docks. Seifer looked passed him, towards the sea and then as he turned he saw the path to Esthar and then he saw the bar and blonde and blonde? He thought as he frowned. What the hell? He thought, as he walked towards it. To where Danny was, he walked past Danny and looked around the town. The blonde hair gone, she was tall he thought briefly. I need to stop this crap, he told himself. Then it happened he heard it, the description exactly like her. 

"Hey! Damn Bert, you wouldn't guess what luck I had! I was walking from the station right?"

"Yeah" 

"And there was this girl man. She was off the charts, blonde, some kinda o' strange blonde type, a she was tall. Slim and be-you-te-full and she smiled at me man. And she talked to me."

"Yeah? What'd she say?" 

"'Could you please move?' she was so polite. I was gonna refuse but she had gorgeous eyes and she was so nice I couldn't say no." 

"Loser, that's not a big deal you need to get out more." 

"It is to me! Come on Bert you know not one woman has spoken to me since......"

"Yeah whatever Arty"  

"Hey! What girl?" Seifer said as he approached the two. Arty eyed him suspiciously as the other just looked amused.

"Huh?" he asked, Seifer frowned as he looked at Arty, he was tall, bulky and had a strange hair cut that looked glued. 

"The girl what was she like?" he asked the boatmen again.

"She was tall, slim, blonde, blue eyes, kinda built...actually she looked? Like a model, but stronger." he explained proudly, about to go into the hole conversation again, Seifer abruptly turned away. What if? He thought as he walked away from the docks.

"Seifer? Where are you going?" Danny asked. 

"I'm gonna walk around, just finish loading the stuff for me. I'll come back, I need to check on something." he explained. Danny shook his head but yelled an okay.

      Quistis reached the hotel easily and then had turned around; she wasn't going to pay for a room, just so she could stay for a few hours and then leave again. She walked right back to through where she came from and looked for a friends' flat that she knew of. Seifer had been walking towards the hotel when he saw her walk the opposite way he ducked for cover; she was walking back towards the station now. 

      Seifer stopped dead in his tracks; he knew it was her now. He watched as she disappeared from sight, the streets littered with few people, and a few stray cats wandered by. He stared around waiting for something to do, he was glued to his spot with the docks to his right, the bar to his left and Quistis to his straight away. He looked forward, unable to move, stuck in his place as she got farther and farther. 

     She looked good, he thought distracted as he stared at where she had gone to. Should I follow? He thought as his eyes glazed. I should at least see where she's off to, he thought as he began to walk by the road. Quistis knocked on the door, no sound came from the inside. She tried again, knowing he would be sleeping, he was always sleeping. 

     Seifer rounded a corner and saw her banging on a flats' door, a piece of wood held across from the road as a bridge and the house looked like an old storage tank. A really big one too, he thought as he heard her sigh from his spot. He looked her over now, she was wearing her boots, and she was wearing a knee long skirt and a tank top with sleeves, both a dark blue. Before she knocked on the door, she put a hand on her stomach, a strange look over came her and before he knew it, she had run to the side of the building by where he was and had thrown up. He wanted to help her but she would think he was stalking her and he still didn't know what was going on. So with his eyes wide he watched as she retched out, her insides. He covered his mouth and nose as he pondered why she was throwing up, was she sick? He thought, as he watched her go back to the door. 

      Where is she going? Why did she throw up? I'm going to find out, I might be able to help her, I'm not going to let her deal with this by herself, am I overreacting? Should I just forget this and her? He asked himself inside his head as he eyed the bags. He watched as she was greeted by this guy, he was young, with short spiked red hair, it was everywhere and he had gray eyes, tall, about hundred and eighty-five pounds, well built, strong, six feet flat. He measured as he saw him next to Quistis. He had strange colors all over his shirt and pants, paint? Probably an artist by the looks he thought to himself. He listened in as they talked, all of this happening at the same time. 

"Hey! Quistis? Wow I haven't seen you since that mission a few months ago, what's going on? What brings you here?" he asked cheerfully as he hugged her. 

"Hel- oh I huh need I place to stay for a little while, I'm going somewhere on train but I wasn't going to stay at the station, if I could just hang out here?" she trailed off and smiled as he took her bags and held open the door for her to walk in. 

"Thank you" she chimed as he grinned playfully at her. 

"No problem" he told her as he closed the door. Seifer glowered at him the whole time; she needs a place to stay? What the hell is going on? Where is she going? I think she's sick, I need to watch her something's going on, I can feel it, I need a name, he thought as he crawled to the door to hear well. He couldn't hear much but he heard a few cities names....Dollet....Esthar...

Seifer walked the opposite way because he knew where she was going already, he should have gotten it from the start, she would only traverse F.H to get to Esthar, and it was the easiest route. 

So she's going to Esthar, I wonder why? And who is that guy? They were too fucking friendly, but she just hugged him, he is probably gay, I mean an artist, and he was acting gay friendly towards her, yeah I got nothing to worry about.....why am I worried?  Don't care about what she does....yes I do! I shouldn't follow her, but I need to talk to her. What if I never see her again, I need to finish this now, or it'll be stuck in my head as something I never closed off. A ruined chapter of my life, I won't let her do that, he thought as he walked back to the docks. 

         Quistis sat down on a sofa that was painted with paint, she smiled as she saw his moomba come into view, it entered and ran up to her, talking its own language as it jumped around and grabbed her hand.

"Quistis! Quistis!" it yelled as he jumped, Quistis laughed and listened when Guter came into the room. 

"So why are you going to Esthar?" he asked as he sat down on a stool by his paints. 

"I want to....I can't say yet." she said hesitantly. Guter looked at her strangely and studied her intensely.

"Whatcha do?" he asked after a while. She swallowed the lump, here we go the second person to know, I wish it were Selphie or Rinoa, but they can't know yet.

"I got pregnant" she said quietly. His eyes widened and he jumped off the stool as he screamed:

"Wha!!" and then he started choking; Quistis looked horrified at his reaction. He looked at her eyes as he cleared his throat.

"What? What? How? Who? Tell me?" he shouted excitedly, now she was just scared of him, he was freaking her out. 

"Stop! Calm down" she yelled to get his attention. 

"Sorry, so tell me?" he asked expectantly.

"I...had sex." she said hesitantly, he looked at her with a face that clearly said, 'yeah so? That's not what I'm talking about'.

"And? come on! Really Quistis what happened?" now he was worried.

"It was with a stranger. A bartender, we got drunk, I can't remember it, all I know is that we were drunk and we had alcohol influenced sex." and I can't remember it, and I don't know what happened and it bugs the hell out of me, she screamed inside. Guter looked thoughtful for a few seconds before he beamed at her and hugged her.

"Congratulations! Wow a baby! Wait you're keeping it right?" he told her as he got up and fixed the stool. She smiled and nodded, relieved when he didn't judge her, acting back to normal, but he wasn't very normal anyway. 

"So when do you leave?" he asked after a while, when he turned around she was in the sink puking, his eyes widened and he started to run up to her, the run was very short. He held her hair for her and looked away. 

"What's wrong?" he asked as he rubbed her back, she shook her head.

"Nothing, its normal." 

"It's normal? To throw up randomly?" he asked unbelieving, his voice held some kind of caring sarcasm if that was possible. 

"Yes, it's a part of pregnancy." she told him.

"That sucks" 

"I suppose"

"You feel better?" he asked as she got up and got her stuff. 

"Yes, let me use your bathroom I want to wash this taste out." he nodded his head as she walked with her toothbrush in hand.

"I got to leave. The train will leave soon." she told him as she packed away the brush again. They exchanged goodbyes and she went on her way. 

    Seifer looked at the train as it departed from the station from the docks, he shook his head as he turned around, things were complicated again, he thought. Damn it, all she does is mess with my head, she's not even trying, he thought bitterly as he watched the water.

Danny walked behind him and put an arm on his shoulder, Seifer turned and faced him.

"Hey we're done, you wanna grab a beer?" he asked Seifer as he pointed to the bars. Seifer looked at the direction the train went and then at Danny's back, alright retreating to the bar.

"Nah I can't, I gotta go." he said as he jumped on the ship with the rest of the crew already on. 

"Okay, have a good one." he told him before he turned and walked away.

"Thanks for everything." he yelled as he left, Danny waved a hand as he halfway turned. I need to put this behind me, I've been doing so well too, she comes and messes it up, he thought as he sailed to Esthar. Still, she looked beautiful, godly even, he thought subconsciously. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thanks for the reviews everyone, I'm glad your enjoying the chapters, they will be updated every few weeks or maybe just every two. I dunno, merry Christmas I love the season. 


	10. 11 Esthar doctors and excadets

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them, please don't assume I do..... A/N:**PLEASE**** READ!** Look I couldn't remember exactly how long ago I had placed this story post war... so I put that she was 20, just go with it okay? Thanks. Btw...I really have bad memory so....just pretend that I put it was a year later if it wasn't and that its march right now, if it isn't...I'm not sure, 

11. Esthar doctors.....and ex-cadets

Esthar: a place of technology, of advances, of isolation, of fate.....not so great when it comes to the last part, she thought as the train entered the station. Wetting her lips she looked at the directory, the station was huge. With its blue glass walls and golden lined edges, the floors looking like something out of a computer. Everything bright, and alive in some way, recording, or that's what she felt it to be. Recording, and living, the walls as they shimmered with movement and the transportation devises, they flared to life when you grew near. 

              The city, still isolated, received everything through garden; its publicity was directed towards the continent instead of the city, deciding to remain neutral and afar. Quistis looked straight ahead as she walked to the hotel; the mode of transportation had an affect on her stomach. She was controlling the feeling as best she could, her bags not so heavy, as she carried them along. 

             The orange tint of the sunset was settling upon everything, slowly and purposely everything turned green with the hues mixing in her eyes. She gripped the seat as she felt her stomach turn from the motions and movements caused by gravity. She stopped at the intersection by the shopping district and went to the nearest dinner. The dinner was large and there were large amounts of people there, eating and conversing, Quistis spoke a few words with the waitress and then hastily made her way to the restrooms. 

         Once back outside she exited and went on her way, her lunch stayed with the dinner and she couldn't bring herself to eat anything else. Blue curious eyes studied everything they saw, for the first time Quistis was witnessing the world. Not examining possible enemies or looking for suspicious characters but observing human nature, or to put it more directly she was observing her nature. 

          She walked along the blue and yellow painted street, the hotel doors slid open and a ding was heard from somewhere above. She felt the heat of light hit her face and came face to face with a screen behind it was a receptionist, Quistis spoke cautiously into the mic presented and relaxed when she saw the person on the other side lift the screen and show them selves. The man was stubby and round, with a strange hat that resembled that of a opera actor. She smiled politely as he approached and took her bags, he walked to the main desk and placed the bags in the carrier and called someone from a back room.  

  


"Good afternoon, welcome, please step up....I'm sorry if I've frightened you!" he told her, his voice was strange the accent was familiar. 

"Hello, no its alright." she said as she walked along side him. 

"Good afternoon, this is the lovely hotel of Esthariapolis, I am the hotel receptionist, Arter." he said, Quistis looked at him for a second. 

"Yes....well. Arter, I would like a room for a few nights, single." she explained simply, Arter played with something she couldn't see and then handed her a key.

"Your bellhop will carry your things to your room; you are to pay after you check out. Miss, if you have any questions please come see me. And breakfast is free, but it's only served until nine thirty. Have a pleasant stay!" he told her before he pressed a button and the whole desk disappeared. 

           Quistis shook her head and turned to where he had placed her bags, to see a bellhop waiting for her at the elevator. The hotel was medium size, the carpet was with a red base and had flora patterns and designs painted in dull yet different colors, she walked to the elevator and stepped inside, the bellhop along. She was on the third floor, she reached her door and the bellhop ran to open it for her.

"Ma'am?" he asked when she stood blinking at him, lost inside her head. She snapped out of it and entered the suite.

"Where would you like your bags ma'am?"

"Huh? Oh! Hm, put them right there." she told him, she looked at him when he didn't move and rolled her eyes at the money hungry look in his eyes. 

"Here, thank you for all your help."

"No thank you, and if there's anything you need, dial six to reach room service, zero for the hotel receptionist and dial nine if you want to get out of the hotel lines. Enjoy your stay!" he told her before he closed the door. 

  Quistis looked at the room, the bed a queen, the covers were of wild animal designs, tigers fighting off hunters, the colors and design of it felt as if it were telling a story. The carpet was patterned and dark blue a large window was to the right of it; covered with curtains. She walked to the bathroom, the sink made of marble; the shower curtains were clean and pretty. 

           Sighing she looked at the mirror, the reflection was pale, unhealthy looking, she couldn't eat, she didn't want to pick up food, it all tasted bad, it all made her want to throw up. She washed her face with warm tap water and grabbed a pair of sandals from her bag. She shed off her clothes and put on a long silk white shirt, it looked like it was for a seven foot tall businessman and was form fitting, she buttoned a few buttons and then brushed her teeth

   . First she grabbed the comforter on top and took it off the bed her hands gripping the ends, wrinkling up her nose at the next to go she took off the brownish ugly cloth cotton blanket and peeled it off, content with the smooth feeling white sheet, she climbed in smiling a little as she sunk in. Wrapping herself up, she stared at the wall opposite. 

     The room was dark, she heard the humming of the air conditioner and she felt the coldness of the mattress as it warmed with her exposed skin. Closing her eyes she fell asleep, the dark blue tinted walls and objects growing darker with the night. The room was silent as she slept, twice in the night, as the world lay down, she woke up and retched out her guts, the being inside causing some much trouble, she was quiet as she did this, both times she climbed slowly back into the hotel bed. 

     The chair was moving, rocking, as was everything else, the person sleeping on it was sweating bullets. The night air was humid and the fans were broken, turning he swore a few curses at the cause of his problems and then he swore some more and fell silent again. 

             Yelling he woke up, the ghosts of his past causing the black rings under his eyes that would be noticeable tomorrow. His boots thumped on the wood and the wind ruffled his golden hairs as he stepped out. The night was dark blue, a navy reflected by the colors of the sea, stars on both sides of the two-way mirror, his head tilted back as he took in the colonies of stars and constellations. 

        A few men were lounging around the deck, the rest probably asleep down below, he thought briefly before he went to sit on a stair step. His thoughts centered around Quistis as he stuffed his hands in his trench coat pockets, a black coat with fire crosses on the inside, branding them his. He thought on what he would do when he found her, and what he'd say if she were sick, I need to be ready to handle her, I don't know what to expect, he thought to himself.

      Leroy got off the train and cursed to himself; the train had stopped in timber and then went by Dollet to pick up more passengers. Finally in Deling he walked it off, and went to the hotel; when he got there he had asked the desk clerk if he'd seen or checked in the woman in the photo he showed him but the man said that he wasn't allowed to give that information out.

"I'm her...boyfriend! I deserve to know!" he exclaimed, the desk clerk stepped back and tried to reason with him.

"Sir, calm down, I've not checked anyone in with that face or description. Please leave immediately, or I will be forced to call the police." 

"Bastards, better not be lying! I swear inferior beings, you cannot stop me! I should end your worthless life now! You ha-.." his dramatics were cut off when a police officer punched him in the face and knocked him to the floor, the dark skinned man struggled for release, he tackled one of the men and broke his nose, three more were already restraining him when he looked up. They dragged him away cursing and screaming, his knees scrapped against the ground and he felt the blood run down his leg as they shoved him in the back of a cop car.  

     The room was welcomed with the tinted glow of the sun the next morning, her face winced when it hit her eyes, the cold atmosphere of the night before had gone down a bit. Quistis let herself wake up tentatively, untrusting of her stomach. She dressed and left her room after she found the number that Dr.kadowaski gave her and made an appointment. The office building was in a large, the outside was tall and it was covered in mirrored glass. 

         She walked inside and went to the elevators in the lobby, looking for the name of her doctor. Maternity level Ms.Greene....great, she thought as she rode the elevator till the seventh floor. Quistis was greeted with elevator music all the way to the doctors' office, entering the room to sign in she gave her name and sat down. The room was medium size, had a row of chairs by the door on the left and a couch across from the window to sign in which was on the wall opposite the door. A few more chairs were on the last wall, by the magazines. 

 Taking in her surroundings like she was trained she noticed two pregnant women seating on a couch having a conversation while they feed their kids milk from bottles, there were two men sitting on the other side of them and Quistis guessed they were the fathers. To the right of her was a couple sitting in chairs and she sat by the lamp and rack of magazines. Sighing inwardly she looked around and noticed that most people in the room were around their mid-thirties. 

    Quistis looked at the clock and sighed, the room had emptied and she was still waiting. The door opened and at first all she could see was a guy with black hair, the girl came in next, Quistis noted she was no older than nineteen. The couple looked at Quistis embarrassedly and then sat on the couch; narrowing her eyes she wondered where she had seen them before. 

"Quistis Trepe?" the girl called timidly, Quistis looked their way and stood up.

"Abby? Vin? What happened?" she asked after a few seconds. 

"Remember when we quit seed a few years ago?" Quistis nodded.

"Well it was because I was pregnant, we got married and we're having our second kid. We weren't allowed to stay at garden after we hooked up but we didn't care. We've been living here and he is working at the presidential palace, we both are." she told the twenty year old blonde.

"Well, congratulations!" she told them, she could barely remember them but she did remember having them for a class once. 

"Ms. Trepe...doctor will see you now." the nurse came out at that time and the couple looked at the former classmate with utter disbelief. Quistis smirked after she turned into the doctors' room and was directed to the office to the far right. She was greeted by a doctor with dark hair and light skin, her eyes were hidden behind glasses and her office was clean, and nicely decorated. Quistis sat down on one of the few chairs in front of the desk.. 

"Hello, I'm Angelina Greene, I understand that you've already confirmed that your pregnant by another doctor, Ms. Trepe. I would just like to say that I'm honored that someone of such high statures in the world, a hero, would come to my business." she told the war veteran, Quistis shifted her eyes.

"I would appreciate it if you kept this to yourself." Quistis said.

"Yes, Dr.kadowaski, a good colleague of mine, told me about your situation, well, she told me some things I needed to know. Garden will not hear about this anywhere."

"Now, I need you to fill these out and we can go from there." she told Quistis with a reassuring smile as she handed her the forms and gave her a clipboard and pen to write with. 

      Quistis spent the rest of the appointment filling out forms and talking with the doctor about her medical record, she was told she had to take a blood test among others. When she finished she gave everything to the nurse, feeling exposed and very wrong about the whole thing for some reason.

            Seifer gave the crew instructions to sell two crates to other fishermen and left to take a transit to the city itself. Esthar had grown; it built a dock by the railroad and a transit to reach the actual city. Once he was inside he pulled up a cap he had and placed it on his head, the hood came next.

  


 He had to be careful in a place like this; he walked up to a computer terminal and checked out all of the hotels in a library in one of the districts. The screen showed a few in each district. One by one he eliminated what he thought she wouldn't go to, then he looked at the best bargain prices for best service, Seifer rubbed his head.

    Then he saw it, it screamed Quistis, It was in the same district as the presidential palace though, the Esthariapolis. she would go here, I'll mark it, he thought as he scanned for other places she would stay. The Eledainte, Siren Marietta, damn it, there're so many, he thought as he marked more places. Well, I better check okay all of them, by district, I'll walk through all of them, he thought as he printed the list. 

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well thats it for now, hope your enjoying the story, I knowI know, its long....sorry but thats the way it goes, anyway: please do let me know how I can make it better if, theres something I could do, review! Now go on, click on the button, make me proud!..... ^ ^ 

reviews!!!

 Okay to all reviewers thanks for you support, I don't know who reviewed because I forgot....


	11. findingsfaintings

Disclaimer: I own nothing…sadly. Also I have been very indecisive with the ending of this chapter and got the guts to pick a ending and so here it is. Hope you enjoy!

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1The stars like to twinkle, and tweak with us,

They use us, and they abuse us.

And we're fateful toys,

 that rust because of this mistrust.

                                                             - frost

        Quistis rolled over to the side, the bed growing uncomfortable for the time being, standing and stretching like a cat. She walked over to sit by the chair she had propped up next to the bed in a fashion that allowed her feet to rest up on the bed. The TV had no cable but you could buy movies and she found a good action movie to watch for the rest of the morning. The nights rest's gone to shit anyway, she thought as she purchased it through the TV.. 

"Crap.....chick crap....ugh! Guy crap...Hm?" she voiced.

     For the first time in a while she had stopped retching in the mornings, of course she retched twice as much during the day but that didn't matter; she barely went out anyway. Esthar was big, there were crowds, large, long stores, and it had districts......plus those pods have been making me sick lately, she thought. 

     The sun wasn't up yet, the clock on the TV listings read four fifteen, and ignoring it Quistis sighed as she saw a message that told her to click a combination so she could watch the movie. The TV lit up the room in a pale glow of radiating colors, the sounds were low. She found herself wanting sleep during some point in the movie when one of the main characters accidentally shoots his partner. Quistis rolled her eyes as she turned over to the bed, the movie sounded low in the background. 

    The bed askew, with sheets tossed about, her limbs stretched out entangled in the whiteness. The darkness of the night still engulfed the corners and areas that the TV didn't grip. 

Quistis swiped her mind of all thoughts; they kept her up with questions that didn't have answers. Quistis worried a lot now, she was pregnant, and she didn't know who she was outside seed, now she was by herself. 

    Her situation wasn't at a high point, so her thoughts disturbed her more than she'd like to admit, especially when it concerned the baby the fact that she's going to have to support it with no one but herself scared her. Yes, she could handle ruby dragons and Ultimacia and monsters in the middle of an island with just a whip and snip of blue magic but this was a human being, what the hell am I supposed to do with a human being?! She thought. 

  


Obviously her thoughts came back to her; she shoved them away and tried to get some sleep. The night was fading now, a grayish darkness descending instead of just black, eventually she let her eyelids shut close from the weight they carried. Seifer broke out into curses after he visited the fifth hotel that night. The city, it seemed didn't sleep much. 

      The hotels were open, and he had visited a lot since he got there, he got the same answers every time, big ass shoving no's. Damn it, what the hell is going on? A beautiful blonde doesn't disappear how could she with this many assholes wandering around......would I have been mistaken in direction? No! No! Fucking way! Okay that's it; next name on the list is my hotel I don't give a shit anymore I need sleep..., he thought as he switched districts one final time that morning. 

      The day still wasn't up, the streets lit up with yellowish and grayish hues mixed with the sky and street lamps. A strange man popped up into a screen inside the hotel he walked into, the screen dispersed and he found the man on a desk a little father from the entrance. 

    After he got his room, the receptionist or whoever the hell that little elf looking opera star was got a bellhop to show him his suite. Damn! This is better than that chair in the boat, ten times better, he thought as he entered his room. The bellhop waited expectantly with a hand out, Seifer sneered as he went to give him his tip.

"Thanks...." he told the kid, shaking his hand, the poor boy left clutching his hand to his gut, Seifer chuckled a little before turning to his bed. 

          He threw off his coat and hung it up on a chair. The boots he was wearing thudding against the carpet, his pants unbuttoned and the belt hung loosely, undone, finally undressed into his boxers he free fell onto the bed. Growling at the discomfort, he kicked and shoved the first comforter and left the white sheets on him. Asleep once his head hit the pillows, the sun had crawled up onto the curtains to glow a dark, sweet yellow around inside his room. 

     Squall sat with Rinoa and the gang that afternoon in the cafeteria, everyone was busy chatting, then Selphie spoke really loudly. She came running and was hopping anxiously as she spoke.

"Hey! Hey! Where's Quistis? I went to her dorm? Cause I haven't seen her in a couple of days, and well, has anybody seen her?" she said as she relaxed, squall was about to open his mouth when Zell spoke up.

"You know how Quistis gets some times; she's probably been really busy." 

"Yeah but I haven't seen her at all....it's like she disappeared." Rinoa added, the week had been hectic but she had just realized how disappeared Quistis seemed to be these past few days. Rinoa looked towards squall, as if anticipating something. 

"Squall have you seen Quistis around lately?" she asked finally, after everyone answered that they hadn't seen her. And when he opened his mouth, everybody grew silent.....he was going to speak.

"She went on vacation." he said shortly, Rinoa and Selphie's heads dropped a little, that wasn't such good news.

"Where? Why? Did she say anything? How do you know?" asked Selphie hyperactively, as she moved around in Irvine's lap. And once again everyone quieted as he opened his mouth....more words were going to come out.

"She said that something was missing."

"From what?" asked Zell, his girlfriend was cuddled against him, soundly oblivious to the world.

"Her life" he said monotonously. 

"How come you know and not us?" Rinoa asked, Selphie nodded along to the question. 

"I saw her last." 

"When was that?" Rinoa asked again, Selphie was looking down....sad that Quistis didn't say goodbye to her, Irvine patted her shoulder and she cuddled until she felt better.

"A few nights ago, when I went to get dinner here." he said, seemingly tired of talking.

"An' why didn'cha tell us?" Irvine asked, his cowboy accent lacing with his words.

"You didn't ask me." he said with a shrug of his shoulders, Rinoa rolled her eyes along with everyone else. Zell wanted to yell at him for that answer but his girlfriend had fallen asleep on him, she'd give him hell if he yelled in her ears.

  Quistis woke up later that morning a few times, and after her bathroom walks she went back to sleep. The sounds of the streets drowned out, so everything was quiet. Smiling at the peace she let herself dream.  Seifer was in the midst of a terrible dream himself, the knight turned over and tossed around for hours before the dream turned into nothing. 

     The sun shined and it glazed over the city, Quistis woke up around that time, one o clock and she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes. The warmness of the bed still in her flesh as she walked to the bathroom, Seifer washed his face and teeth, and she inspected her smile when she finished, pulling on his pants and shirt, she walked back into the room for her shoes. His boots slid in nicely and he buttoned the buckles on them, outside her door she had to be quick when she felt the need to use the bathroom and ran back in. Seifer walked down the hall and up to the elevators, pressing the button several times, she sighed as she walked out after shutting the door, the walk to the elevators was short.

"Wait! Wait! Hold the door!" she yelled as the elevator closed, she sighed seeing the numbers light up as it went down. Pressing the button she waited for the next one. Seifer was by the receptionist desk, asking for Quistis, he knew it would be a slim chance of her staying the same place he was at but he had to try. 

"Ah, yes! Lovely lady she is indeed!" the elf-man told him happily, Seifer looked irritated as he waited for him to stop.

"So she's staying here?"

"Yes! Boy yes! Why don't you leave me alone and talk to her yourself! She's right there!" he said as he tilted his head towards the elevators. Seifer's blood drained and he felt as if his whole body would jump out of his skin, turning his head slightly he saw her walk out into the street. 

"Thanks...." he muttered before he followed her out the door. Then he stopped, just outside the hotel, I found her.....I actually found her...I...what do I say? What if she hates me? Damn it, I'm such a chicken wuss! Quistis what do you think? He asked her lastly inwardly. Quistis was walking to her next appointment with her maternity doctor. She was lost, and she felt terrible, she'd been drifting in and out of sleep the past few nights and hadn't actually gotten much rest. Then there was the fact that she was only nineteen years old and pregnant.....well saving for Abby...but they wanted it, she thought; then she stopped in her tracks.

"Do I want it?" she asked herself out loud, the words came out soft, quiet and meant for her ears only the question was sounded out, slow. She was afraid to answer.....to the side, in the sidewalk she stood, sullen and grim, afraid she'll say no. no! I won't....its mine! The thought was rapid and it came, just like the thought of not having it, came; subconsciously she started walking again, her thoughts trailing with her feet. 

         Seifer frowned, what if she isn't sick? Would she think me still a mistake? I still need to talk to her even if she doesn't want to......do I really need to talk to her? Can I just let this go.....I wish I would. Seifer thought as he followed her into the building, he was far enough so she didn't notice him but close enough to keep her in sight. 

        He waited outside until she entered the elevator and till he saw which floor it stopped on, he read the number and then went to see what type of business she had here. Seventh floor..... Maternity? What the hell...she got pregnant! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, what the hell? I'm just this thing she screwed on the side? When did she get pregnant? He had to find out, fuming he went out the building and found another building across the street that he could pretend to window shop at. Looking through the reflection of the window to behind him, he watched for her to come down. 

     Quistis felt....she didn't even want to use any words to describe what she just felt.....the kid, is not coming out that way! Its...it's...its just not possible! She screamed inside her head to the doctor. Walking out to the waiting room she felt alien, here she was young, alone, and pregnant......well, I feel like I'm fifty....I've seen so much, a war vet, a retired teacher, I taught so many, I wonder how everyone is doing? She thought as she left the building.

        Seifer followed her as soon as she left the building, slowly and stealthy he walked, noticing her turn into a horizonese buffet. Smirking he turned to follow when he remembered one thing, he was staying at the same hotel as her. Wait! Okay it made sense when I followed her into the building, but now it's just getting ridiculous, he told himself. I need to think, I can't see her yet, he thought as he walked in the opposite direction. 

         Seifer went back to the docks outside the city, and checked in on the crew, everything was running smooth and he told them to go get a room in the inn by the docks, he grabbed some spare clothes and left. Seifer slammed the door and let the stress run through his veins; he needed to take his anger out on something. Walking, or striding around his room he saw the pool and grabbed the only shorts he brought along that were actually pants that unzipped into shorts; grabbing a towel he went barefooted by the stairs since it had an exit door that led to the pool. 

      An hour or two later Quistis was walking back to her room when she slowed down because of a blonde beach boy that was playing with his hair and was unable to walk at the same time. She tried to get around him but he stopped and slouched, shaking his head with the towel. 

"Excuse me, could you move? Please?" she added, she was tired, and had the worst headache she'd had this week. The man turned around with the towel over his head and sighed sadly as he dropped his hands, the towel remained.

"I'm sorry...I cannot" he told her, she snapped up, shocked or surprised by the answer. She frowned as he moved forward and started to remove the towel from his head. Seifer smirked as he saw her face, she was beautiful, he had to admit, and everything so far was worth it but what of her words? Would it still be worth his while to have gone after her?

"Seifer?" she whispered, her voice suddenly gone, what? He was dead! She thought panicked as she backed away; Seifer frowned and held up his hands. She didn't know what to say, for a few seconds she debated her words carefully.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were dead?" he looked at her confused, dead? He thought. Her demeanor was strict and worthy of a seed, as she examined him, her head suddenly hurt more than ever.

"What are you talking about?" he asked, his voice not portraying sarcasm. 

"It's not respectful to answer questions with questions." 

"Don't ask stupid questions!" she was about to say something but stopped as someone passed by them, grabbing his arm she pulled him inside her room, locking the door she turned back to him. 

"It was a reasonable question! Everyone thinks your dead!" Seifer frowned, looking at her.

"What are you talking about?" 

"What are you talking about, Seifer?" 

"You knew I was alive! You have to remember, there is no fucking way that you can't." he asked, drawing closer, Quistis thought he was crazy, she clenched her teeth, her headache was banging instead her head now.

"Remember?.......refresh my memory. What should I remember?" she asked as she tried to figure out what he was talking about. She should be handcuffing him, dragging him down to the police, or army, but she had to find out what it was she was supposed to know. The way he spoke….so confident he was talking truth, she thought. Seifer stared, mouth hanging open, shocked, the letter, did she really mean forget like this kind of forget? No! she can't pretend this never happened! Not this way, its just not….Quistis.

"You don't remember any of it. Not even before the wine?" he asked unbelieving, trying to see if he could get her to crack. She scowled. 

"What?" she asked confused.

"What about the fire? And the storm?" he asked as he walked closer, she stood her ground.

"Almasy, I don't know what your referring to." She had almost called him Seifer again, she used to never call him Seifer.

"The conversation? …the fight and power going out?" what the hell is he talking about? She thought. I would have remembered having seen Seifer alive before this, she thought.

"Seifer that isn't possible. This is the first time I see you since the war."

"Liar!" he growled, he stood in front of her now, inches from her face.

"What? No!" she yelled.

"Oh! Yeah?" he asked, he placed his hands on her face and placed his lips to her ears. Quistis froze, of shock, get him away, she told herself. After he tells you what he's going to say, wait till he talks, she told herself.

"And what of this?" he whispered, his voice changed, husked as one of his hands tickled her jaw line carefully, his lips breathing hot air onto her skin; the lines of his fingers brushing her skin. Quistis closed her eyes, breathing in, and then his scent filled her nose, the smell was familiar, she absent mindedly sighed as it became the only thing she smelt. She wanted to push him away, but her hands felt heavy.

"And what of your cries for me?" he asked quietly, kissing her cheek, her jaw line, and under it, slowly. She raised her hands ready to place them on his chest and push away. He wasn't talking about anything she'd done, she had to stop this nonsense, she thought, but he kept distracting her.

"And what of our kisses?" he asked as he looked at her lips, then her eyes. She froze, her mouth agape; her thoughts coming back to her as she looked at his eyes. This was Seifer? She thought. She always was stuck on Seifer, but…he was a murderer…and apparently crazy, she thought. Her thoughts washed away as he leaned in, I have to stop this, she thought, then she tasted him. And her eyes grew wise with recognition. She pulled away shocked, looking startled and confused and lost; she suddenly had that headache again. 

"You're the bartender!?" she pointed an accusing finger at him, questioning and stating the truth in one go. Seifer frowned, shaking his head; he let the taste of her die away. Her thoughts died away after she heard him agree, his words harsher than a simple yes; by then her vision had clouded and she fell. 

 Ah thanks to Quistis 889 my reviewer, thanks for your support. You have no idea how grateful I am for it. Can I ask you a question? Do I write too descriptively? Because I'm beginning to think so…..ya know Hemmingway was descriptive as hell……that's not the point. Anyway stay tuned for the next chapter readers! I have no clue when it's coming out...


	12. I need to know truth!

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them. 

Sometimes love leaves logic behind.

And when words aren't enough, 

Emotions can make the cut,

That allows the blood to forget,

Something it's never going to get.

                                             -frost

                   ~I need to know!~ 

Seifer startled, ran to her side, she fell limp in his arms, once again. Smiling at the strangeness of the situation he slowly fell to his knees; her form was sitting on his. He could smell her, her hair, her skin, her breath. He was so tired, he just wanted to fall asleep with her in his arms and let her give him peace. She sounded so surprised, he thought as he leaned against the bed, the carpeting wasn't harsh. Seifer let his legs spread out, with Quistis sitting on his lap, her arms hung over his, on the outside of him, his arms hugged her waist and he rested his chin on her shoulder. 

      She acted like if she had seen a ghost, she acted as if she hadn't expected me to be alive. Why? Who was she trying to fool? I should wake her up.....maybe later; maybe she'll wake up on her own. I don't want to leave, why did she say I was the bartender? That was weird, what the hell was she trying to pull? I'm not going to pretend that nothing happened, and what is it she has? She looks okay, I would be worried if she was turning different shades, but she just looks like she's asleep, maybe if I should think without looking at her I can get more done, I should wake her up, he thought before drifting off into thought. 

    Quistis moved her body back, into the warmth of her bed, as she recalled her weird dream; lazily she opened an eye, and then the other. Her body froze, shock registering, Seifer!? Is here!? Then she noticed something strange, her eyes were looking ahead but she glanced to the side and noticed him, quietly she studied him, his lashes fidgeted a little but he was so tranquil, his hair falling around his face and around her, she could feel his warmth, and his breathe...he didn't try anything. 

           He......Seifer....is - hugging? - My waist.....and is asleep on my shoulder? She thought with a frown, why doesn't this bother me? He feels good. No stop Quistis! She thought as she turned completely to look at him, in the process her nose cuddled his cheek, and raised all of her skin, sending a wave of rushed blood from her nose to her toes. He was the bartender? Thank hyne, at least it's someone I ...no that's not right...Wait...no!, that means he would be the father of my baby! Ugh! That terrible! What if it turns out like him? She thought she should try to be upset but the thought made her smile almost, at least he's hot, the baby will be very handso- what? I don't, no! Quistis you need to stop thinking about him, its not healthy, and you don't love or like or even care about him……anymore, so don't think it, she reprimanded herself.

       What happened? I used to be in love with him, I'm finally over him? When....Quistis stopped dead in her tracks, when had she gotten over him? She asked herself, and then she noticed something, he had come to her, or so it seemed, what had she done in bass bay? She thought, while she nudged Seifer, he didn't stir; she moved around to bother his sleep but stopped as she noticed it wasn't such a good idea for either of them and then with her head she nudged his until he opened his eyes.

"Damnit! why? Oh....." he had started talking angrily but then he turned quiet when he realized what and where he was and why. 

"Explain yourself." she told him as she glared. Seifer frowned, he wasn't holding her hard or in a tight grip, she could have gotten out of it, a long time ago. Doesn't she notice? Whatever the reason, it made him smile. Quistis frowned when he did and then shoved him away and scowled herself again for not removing herself. Standing up with her he stood a few feet away. 

"Quistis don't tell me you forgot about me already?" he asked, his tone was sarcastic but she couldn't tell if the tone was mocking of hurt or if that was really there. Quistis wanted to scream at him, she wanted to kill him, and had this insensible desire to feel him all at once. She wanted to get rid of him, but she also wanted to leave with him. That bastard, she thought hotly as she controlled herself, she needed answers.

"If I ask you something, would you answer honestly?" she asked him, Seifer turned serious and motioned for her to continue. 

"What if I told you that I couldn't remember what happened? What if I don't know how I met you, and if I didn't even know that you were alive until you kissed me, then I realized you were the same guy the bartender was. What would you say if I asked you to tell me, vaguely enough, what happened that night?" she asked him, her eyes were cold, but inside she was full of contradictions on this, and she worried about what he was going to say. 

"I..." then Seifer grew silent, what the hell? He didn't know what to say, she didn't remember, maybe he should give her the letter? First he should tell her what happened. 

"You....came into the bar, it was night, and there was a really bad tropical storm. You ordered a drink and some guy came to pick you up, but you tried to ignore him, he grabbed you and you got into a fight with him and his buddies. I had seen you fighting with the leader and decided to get my Hyperion, when I came back down you were being harassed but were fighting them off, you got knocked out and I finished the guys off, and got you up to my room to clean up your head, I didn't realized you were you, until I took off the wig. Then sometime later, you asked to go to the bathroom and the lights went out, because of the storm, I lit my fireplace and we sat by it, talking about what we'd been up to and stuff, we drank wine, and you cried."

"Why did I cry?" she asked unbelievingly after she cut him off. 

"Because of that guy that died after the war." he was hesitant to say this. Quistis wanted to ask what guy, but she thought about what she would have told Seifer if she were actually in the situation. If I were drinking wine, with Seifer, and he asked why I was crying....I would....depending on the situation and who I really lost. I would......lie! Who was it I lost then? She thought.

"Then what happened?" Seifer looked away and in a quite voice.

"Then... (And he moved a step toward her)...I didn't know what to do, but I wanted to make you feel better... (And moved another step)...so I asked you if I could have you for a night... (and then stood in front of her)....I asked you to let me give you the only thing I had to give you..." he said huskily as he stood looking down at her. She knew what he was saying and was foolish to ask.

"What?" she asked her voice grew low; she didn't mean it to come out so low.

"Me.....and everything I had." he told her in her ear, his lips brushed against her lobe, she closed her eyes lazily. Feeling his hair tickle her skin, still wet from the pool, little drops fell every few minutes. 

       Seifer didn't move away, but didn't move closer, they stayed there, together in their thoughts. Quistis had been trying to remember what he was saying, trying to piece together the distorted memory of that night. Seifer was fighting with himself of what he should do, if he should ask her about the letter. He had slept, he had actually slept without nightmares this surprised him. He also thought about Quistis, she didn't remember what he had told her, he could see it in her face, in her gestures. Why? He thought. 

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"I saw you in F.H. and got worried." he told her.

"Why would you have been worried?" she asked, looking up at him.

"I saw you throw up and I wanted to help you. I do care ya know." he told her.

"I'm fine. You can leave me alone. I won't tell anyone I saw you." she told as she backed away from a frowning Seifer. 

"What are you afraid of? I just want to help you! What? Can't trust me to care about you but you'd sleep with me?!" 

"Shut up! I can't remember that! And I don't want you involved in my problems or my life. Damnit Seifer I don't even know what your capable of."

"What? I saved your life! I followed you to Esthar to make sure nothing was wrong! You think I'm capable of hurting you? You have no idea what the hell I have to deal with!"

"That's just it! You stalked me! You killed thousands of people, wanted to make everyone part of the dark side. What the hell do you expect me to do? Especially in my current situation." 

"Not be a bitch! Rub it in Quistis, rub it in. I live with that blood, I have to carry it around, and that bitch....forgets it. You don't care about me. You were very clear on that." he said, his voice low and dangerous, as he threw her the crumbled piece of paper that was her letter. She read it carefully, and then ripped it in half and threw it away, she should have given him more credit about his intentions okay, but she just wasn't sure what he would do if she.....

"Seifer...excuse me." and she ran to the bathroom, Seifer followed close by. As she threw up, he held her hair and when she finished, after flushing the toilet she looked up at him.

"Why would you want to care about me? Help me?" she asked him.

"Because that's what I want. What is it that you have?" he asked.

"I have...a baby." she whispered. Then he would leave, she thought. I shouldn't have allowed him to stay this long, she thought.

"I know. I wanted to see if you would tell me." Quistis looked at him at this, frown in place.

"What? How?" 

"I followed you remember? Well, after I realized you were in the same hotel I was in.....I followed you to the office building and realized you were probably pregnant; with what floor you stopped on." he told her. Quistis digested this information, the bitter taste of herself made her want to clean up. 

  She washed her face and then lifted herself to sit on the sink area, reaching up to grab a towel. Seifer was looking at her, hyne....help me not do anything stupid right now, he half assed prayed. Quistis put the towel back exactly how she found it and then hopped off the sink to wash her teeth. Seifer was trying to figure out how he was supposed to act, he walked out into the room before she finished and looked around. 

Quistis walked out of the bathroom and stopped at the door, she had been too angered, and confused before, but now she noticed how Seifer was dressed. Shorts, and a towel around his neck, damnit....I have to stop staring, she thought. Seifer was looking through her magazines and newspapers. One hand holding both ends of the towel around his neck, the other flipped through pages. Quistis outlined his movements, thinking about the way he would taste, or what his skin felt like. Now that she paid attention, he was definitely not a mistake, why had I written that? She asked herself. 

"Seifer you should leave, its getting late." she told him opening the door, Seifer wasn't happy on that note, deciding to give her the hard time she deserved.

"Wait. You asked me questions; it's my turn to ask you a few. Why did you sleep with me?" he asked her.

"I don't know." she answered.

"Bullshit, Quistis it's not something that needs memories of the event. Why would you sleep with me?"

"I don't know!"

"Did you mean what you said in that letter?"

"I'm not positive I meant it the first time."

"That guy...that died in the war, that you loved and couldn't be with....is he really dead?" he asked, if that guys the father, then I would have to leave her alone she wouldn't want me to help her if she had him, he thought. Quistis thought on this, well, I don't know who he is talking about so, she thought.

"Yes, He is."

"Quistis, you don't remember anything of.....that night during the storm?" he hesitated on the last bit. 

"Seifer I don't remember you, or any guy. The person is just one big blur, its been bothering me since....well that's not important but I just know that I can't remember who and what I felt."

"Why?!" he asked exasperated. 

"I- don't- know! What do you want from me?!" she screamed. Seifer yelled right back as he covered the distance between them.

"To remember me! I need to know what I was to you!" he cried as he kissed her, Quistis stood shocked, her eyes wider than ever before. Unfortunately her eyes were all that were functioning properly, eventually they began to close and shut. Her mind knew it should argue with this very thought, let alone let the action happen but she couldn't, no she didn't want to push him away. 

"Seifer...." she didn't finish the sentence though because he leaned back in for another kiss. She wanted to scream, to cry, to laugh and kick his ass. Yet the only thing that happened was her crying, she cried, because she couldn't remember, because she suddenly understood how bad he wanted her to remember, and so she cried. Because she also wanted to remember what she had done, with him? With Seifer, and she cried because she was happy, that it was Seifer, because, even though along time ago, she had decided she didn't love him; she knew it wasn't true. Seifer squeezed his eyes and kept his lips on her, and she forgot she was supposed to hate him, and that she had fought with him, and she hugged him. She clung to him with every fiber of her being. Because even though she couldn't remember, she knew.

"You're just the best I ever had." 

I'd like to thank all the wonderful reviews, I've gone crazy and imagined them all, so…but that's okay. Please enjoy the story, and thanks for reading. Please if you'd like, leave me a review and I'd let you know how appreciated they are! ^ ^. 


	13. 13 its out of the bag now!

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them. 

 Drummer of life though sweet,

You won't suffice, 

In this land controlled by time.

When night comes, 

One soul is tortured by his wrecked

                Life.             

                                       -frost

                                                        .13 It's out of the bag now!

         Seifer didn't know what to think, everything that she was doing to him was too much for him to make sense of. One minute she wants him to leave the next, she's there trying to hug the life out of him. He desperately wished he could understand what she was thinking, so that he could say something to make her feel better, the tears had been falling onto his bare torso and he felt a jabbing pain from the knowledge of her tears. 

     Though one side of him was angered, the other was happy, she was there with him, yes not happy but at least he was with her. Seifer sighed as he thought about what she had told him about her memories. He didn't understand what she wanted from him, what was he supposed to do now? Luckily she beat him to it, by separating herself and with both hands on above his wrists as he kept his grip on her; she looked sad, trying to find the words to tell him what she wanted to say. She looked at him; he still had the towel draped around him, covering most of his chest and shoulders. For once she was glad that he had tried to keep himself covered.

"Seifer....I don't know why I don't remember that night, I'm sorry I don't but that's just how things are. If you'd like we can be.....friends. I can try to be friends with you, okay?" she told him. Seifer's heart, ripped a little but he kept his face neutral. 

"Friends? I...would love to be friends with you." he told her, albeit difficultly.

"Alright. But it's late and you should go to your room."

"Wait! Why did you cry?" he asked, she looked away, and turned to open the door, he walked to stop in front of it.

"Because I couldn't remember you." 

           Seifer looked at the closed door, towel still in place, hair still a little damp, but his heart hurt. What he wouldn't give to just be there with her, so she wanted to remember? He asked himself. At least she's willing to be my friend, shit I don't want her to just be my friend what the hell? And she's so emotional, why is she so easy to cry? Maybe I make her cry, he thought as he walked to his room. Smiling he noticed it was next to hers, hyne was a tricky bastard, he thought as he entered. It had been hard, he had so much he didn't want her to know about, he looked in the mirror of his bathroom, like those scars, he thought with a sigh. 

"Lets hope she didn't see them, I don't think she did." he murmured as he ran a finger across on of them, the towel was then thrown on the porcelain by the sink and he shed his clothes and slowly let the water grow warm as it hit his skin. 

    I didn't think I would care so much if she saw my scars, but I guess I do care, the whole time I was around her I made sure she couldn't see the scars, thank hyne the towel was big, and long, he thought as he washed his chlorine infected hair. 

  Friends? Well, it's a start. And she didn't know I was the bartender, how is that possible? I should ask about the father, maybe after I gain her faith.

         Seifer wondered about what had happened to her to make her lose her memories, he couldn't understand it, the ceiling wasn't very entertaining and he felt his eyes grow heavy after a while of such thoughts. Snapping out of it, he tried to stay awake, he got up and went to sit down on a chair and watch TV instead of staying down. Around five o'clock he had finally let it take over him, and sadly he couldn't stay awake anymore, submittedly letting his lids drop. 

       Wandering around the forest, Seifer followed the river to the swamp area; it was night time and foggy. Yet as he traveled deeper into the swamp, he saw that day was starting to spread around him, looking around he saw beautiful orchids. White orchids that grew on swamps, smiling he walked in the waist deep water with ease. 

       His hands grazed the water as he moved, and noticed for the first time how thick the water was, even for a swamp. Looking down his eyes grew wide; the crimson waters reflected him back. He backed away, the color was overwhelming, all that red, on such a beautiful day, the blood soaked his shirt and pants, and he felt the faces of the dead stare up at him from the bottom of the swamp. 

  He stumbled as he tried to get away, the faces taken a liquid form, the blood that was the swamp, taking the forms of the dead people. They tried to follow him as he struggled to get out of the swamp, yet with so many after him, how could he have enough strength to get out of it. The souls gripped his legs tried to push him down. 

      He cried out as his face touched the blood, the vile souls pulling him down under, the swamp of blood, the blood he shed. He panicked as he tried to get away, his arms now moving wildly and his eyes shut tight, the screams of the dead mixed with his tortured ones. Crying he broke free from the morphing bloody souls and awoke in a pool of sweat, and tears. 

      The sheets lay discarded on the floor, his boxers clung to him with sweat. Seifer sat up and climbed out of bed, the sweat glistened on his face as he walked to the bathroom. The coldness of the room didn't help him feel any better, washing his face; he decided he needed a shower. 

     The warmth of the water was a relief to him, at least he didn't dream with that witch, she should burn in hell.....hell, and I should too, all those dead, he thought. Though nothing about his war life was clear to him, the dreams and distorted images stayed with him forever. 

        He saw what he had done and he had pieced quite a few things together and what he saw never did anything to make him think he should go anywhere else. Quistis, he didn't deserve to be with her, be friends with her, or anyone else for that matter. Seifer's thoughts disturbed him until he got a knock at his door, sighing he climbed out of the shower, quickly dried himself and pulled on the pants closest to him. 

"Coming! Hold up!" he yelled as he found a shirt, a simple muscle t-shirt and he walked to the door with the towel over his hair as he dried it.

"Yeah?" he asked before fully opening the door, expecting it to be room service, when he saw one of his crewmen from the boat, he nodded his head.

"Hey boss! Ya know me and my men were wondering when we could leave, ya know? We got a lot of deliveries to make and well, we got to go." Seifer rubbed his hair dry as he thought. 

"I don't know, why don't you do me the favor of dropping of my packages at my shop and I'll pay extra for everything you've done so far?" 

"Nah! Don't worry about a thing! We'll drop it off and I'll get a guy to work the shop for ya! You know how I feel about you; after all you did save my crew a few weeks ago from that snake monster! I'll make sure your shop is cared for, of course this can only be for a few days since we'll only be in that area for a while." Seifer smiled with gratitude, he never had people care so much of him, or respect him so much. Except for the posse, but they were his friends and he'd known them for years.

"Damn it bud, I can't ask you to do that. But thanks." he told him.

"Too late, it's already been taken care of. Later Seifer!" just like he came, he left, and Seifer stood watching him stride away. Shaking his head, he was turning when he caught Quistis staring at him.

"What?" he asked unsure, Quistis looked confused. 

"You....I. you said thank you and...You saved them? You have really changed....I just, I'm used to seeing an asshole." she admitted. Seifer lifted both eyebrows at the last comment but let it slide, chuckling he shook his head. 

"Maybe it was the atmosphere of garden that made me an asshole, ever think of that?" he retorted, defensive tone, but yet not harsh.

"Whatever." she was walking away now.

         Seifer chuckled at her as she left, and with a quick run into his room, he was running to the elevator trying to catch it before it closed. When he turned to look inside she had been holding it open for him, he smiled at her for it. Seifer let a small smile tug at the corner of his lips, as she pressed the button to the lobby; Seifer stole a sideways glance at her when she did.

"Seifer didn't you sleep at all last night, you have the worst bags under your eyes." she commented before he could ask her something.

"Just a bad dream, it's not important. Anyway what are you going to do today?" he asked casually, or trying to be casual as he looked at her. She smiled politely as she patted her stomach.

"I have to see a doctor." she said absently as the elevator opened and they got out to the lobby, Seifer stopped her with an arm.

"Maybe I can walk with you?" he asked hopefully.  

        He wasn't the father, he could understand that she slept with others, but it didn't mean he couldn't ask her a few questions about it. She nodded her head, inside she was smiling, so he wasn't freaked out about her...situation; in fact he hasn't said anything about it, she thought as she glanced at him for a second. They walked outside and turned at the corner, he motioned for them to take a transpod but she told him that they made her sick and he chuckled.

"So Quistis, huh what's it like?" he asked, starting slow.

"What is what like?" she asked and raised an eyebrow when he made a motion with his hands to indicate her belly. 

"It's....different. I can't eat almost anything without throwing up, and I throw up a lot either way. It's hard to explain, I feel different. Its strange, sometimes, not a lot but sometimes my mood changes, though I'm not exactly at that point yet, the doctor says I should get a lot of mood swings." she told him as they stopped at a red light. 

"Do you know what it is yet?"  He asked after a few steps into the street, she shook her head and looked at him, debating if she should tell him about it being his. 

"So Seifer, doesn't this bother you?" she asked, okay so she had always had a problem with being too forward.

"Huh .what do you mean?" he asked, sweat trickled down his rib.

"About me being pregnant?" she asked.

"Look Quistis, I care about you. I understand, one thing led to another and you slept with some people. I'm not judging it's your right." he said in a low tone. Quistis' eyes widened as she realized what he meant and her face grew red with anger. 

"What!?!" she cried in his face, some people stopped to stare, and she lowered her voice and grabbed his arm, her grip was digging into his arm. She walked off into an alleyway by a dinner and shop. Seifer was complaining the whole way.

"What the hell?!" he cried when she let him go.

"What the hell are you talking about?!" she asked clearly upset, Seifer was at loss for words, not knowing what he done.

"What?" he asked confused.

"I don't sleep around, you jerk! What the hell do you think I am? You think you need to sleep around with hundreds to get pregnant?! No! Just once can do it Seifer." she said and yelled; Seifer waited till she stopped.

"Hey! It's not my fault, that's the impression you left me with! You come and drink some wine and then sleep with me, next morning you leave. Your letter being clear what you thought of it all! What do you expect me to think of you? At first I didn't believe it, but you're pregnant! What? Do you sleep around with the guys around garden, or maybe just squall? So those rumors I stopped those trepies from spreading, they were true?!" Seifer yelled, angered.

"You stupid asshole! What rumors? I never slept with any trepies, hell Seifer the only guy I've ever been with is you!" she cried, outraged, then she realized what she had just told him and covered her mouth. Shock covered both of their faces, and they didn't move their muscles tense as they stared down the other. 

"What? I'm it? What? Wait....oh hyne...you mean, its mine?" he asked as his voice was raspy, she couldn't speak, and nodding her head he backed away against a wall and held his head in his hands.

"Oh...okay. wow." he mumbled a little bit later. 

         Quistis expected him to have a different reaction, okay he's in shock but she thought he would scream out against that fact, or something, he's just standing there, looking like if he was learning something for the first time. Awed Seifer stepped up to her and placed his hands on her belly, she frowned as she saw his face, still had his mouth hanging open and his eyes were wide. He bent forward and placed his ear against her belly, though you couldn't tell that she was pregnant yet. Seifer chuckled and moved away, surprise written all over his face. 

"Uh....I....would like to be with you...to.... take of It." he stammered. Quistis bit her lip, not sure if she could rely on him. 

"As a friend." 

"Okay." 

"Alright I have to go; I'm gong to be late."

"We are going to be late." he said. Quistis checked her watch and frowned.

"We've been standing here for an hour and forty minutes!" she told him.

"So?"

"I'm an hour and thirty minutes late!" 

"No big deal, come on." Seifer looked at her, not understanding the big deal, shrugging his shoulders he started walking towards the office building; Quistis despite herself smiled at the way things have turned out so far, everything in her life had been so planned out, now everything is happened on a moments notice. 

Thanks so much for the reviews! Quistis 88 thanks for letting me know about that sentence, I'm glad you think the descriptions are good. And hope you've enjoyed these last few chapters, I've gotten kind of crazy and written up a storm, so to speak. J And yes it was a little bit romantic that last one wasn't it. 

Kyra-dante thanks so much for the review, and yeah I like long chaps too. Glad you like it, hope you've enjoyed this one too.   


	14. strange dNa

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them

 A dance of love passes,

Between stars that fall.

They glisten and glaze,

Over everything that's reigned.

Being careful to respect we watch,

As they give us a line to walk by.

                                             - frost.

                                                          Strange DNA

        Leroy cursed as he knocked down the guards; his plan hasn't been going very well so far, going to jail and all. The guards had let him use the phone, taking him down the hall in the station. He knew it was a bad idea to threaten a police officer but he had a job to do. So when they let him out he reached behind the cop and pulled out his gun, at the same time he had knocked out the other with a kick to the temple. 

           The gun jabbed the officers' rib with a pain and with silent threats they sneaked out through the back. Leroy smiled triumphantly as he shot the policeman and left wearing his clothes. Digging around for keys he found that the cop had a nice sedan. Taking the car that the key went into him dragged the dead corpse into the trunk and shut it. He would be on his way after he went back to Balamb and checked out all the trains going and coming on the date he left. Damnit, that bitch is going to get it, he swore as he drove out to the city limits.

    Quistis felt like she was drowning, her thoughts poured over everything that had happened in the last few days. Seifer had shown up in her life, like a scar that can't be disposed of. He was the perfect friend, so he wasn't himself, or that's what Quistis thought. Seifer had accepted her pregnancy almost better than she had. 

       Yes, he had gotten lost inside his head for almost two hours, before he could speak; but he went with her to the doctors' office and treated her like a friend. But Quistis had a very hard time acting friendly around him; she wanted to be his friend most of the time, the rest of that said time was spent keeping herself in check; since she also wanted to jump him. 

     Seifer sat there, next to Quistis in the doctors' office for the second time; she was as quiet as him. There was uneasiness about the situation because the doctor said that she had found some complications about the gender of the baby. He sat thinking about how to react; he had never been in this kind of situation, not used to being with someone so vulnerable. In this train of thought he remembered vaguely how he met Fuijin and Raijin, before he could recall it though, they were called in. 

"Hello Miss. Trepe, and....." Seifer glared at her, as she tried to get his name once more, she shook her head and moved on. 

"Hello Doctor." she nudged Seifer, he rolled his eyes, yes he had changed but it didn't mean it was for everyone to experience his change of being. He was still an asshole sometimes, with certain people.

"Hi..." he mumbled low, he draped an arm around Quistis and she shrugged it off, grunting Seifer tried to stop moving. Quistis rolled her eyes as he acted like a little kid, she had talked to him after the first time he acted this way; apparently he was scared of hospitals but wouldn't say why, and he hated doctors and anyone that would take money to tell him he had a cold that he already knew about. He had told her it was a useless thing to do.

"Quistis, your baby is abnormal. Its blood type is the strangest combination and its D.N.A strands are impossible to decipher. I have to send you to Dr. Odine. He will be able to help you; my machines aren't technologically advanced enough. Please understand, it's just biologically unique, not physically. As far as I can tell, it's the healthiest it can be." she told them, she hadn't liked Seifer's presents from the start and wanted him out of her office. 

"What's its blood type?" Seifer asked.

"It's O-A+. Which as far as I know, isn't possible." she told them.

'Thank you doctor, have a nice day." Quistis told her with a smile, the doctor and she exchanged good byes and good lucks and then they left. 

   Seifer studied Quistis till the got in the elevator, when it closed he turned to her and looked her in the eyes, she stared back. Hers uncertain and worried, afraid something might be wrong, Quistis was afraid of Odine, what if he used her baby as a guinea pig for his experiments. 

"What's wrong? Its okay, the baby's healthy, it's fine. Don't worry." he told her as he wiped away a stray teardrop fell from her last thought. 

"I don't like how Odine thinks, he took Ellone, imagine if he did that to us!" she cried out in fright, Seifer saw her fear and bit his tongue.

"Look he wouldn't try anything like that; I'll be there by your side the whole time. Let's go Quistis, your not going to be afraid of that little midget are you?" he asked teasingly, at this she straighten her jaw, and burned a hole in his forehead, he was mocking at her. 

 Without a word, she left him in the elevator seconds later he followed by close, when she got out into the street he was already next to her, holding her hand and giving it a reassuring grip he let go. Quistis sighed, looking around she turned back to Seifer, noticed his eyes on her and smiled at the face he was giving her. Damn I still go it bad for him, she thought as she looked around once more. 

"You want to get something to eat?" he asked seeing her look at some restaurants.

"I want to go to the hotel. Go by yourself, I'll see you eventually." she told him, Seifer nodded and when she started walking he did too. When he didn't stop and turn away to get something to eat she stopped and looked at him staring right back at her once again.

"Okay Seifer. You don't have to follow me around. I said we could be friends; you don't have to be my shadow. I'm sure you have other things you want to do." she told him, Seifer looked away and then back at her and opened his mouth to speak.

"I want to do other things, but I want to do them with you." he told her, Quistis' cheeks burned at that. Looking away, she tried to think of something else.

"Look, I'm sure you can go look around the city by yourself and do a lot of other stuff." she told him as she started walking again.

"Yes, that's true, but I've done everything there is to do." 

"When was this?" she asked.

"When I was trying to leave you alone, because you kept saying that I didn't have to follow you around." he told her, Quistis smiled and walked inside the hotel room.

"Seifer-"

"Quistis...you want to have dinner with me tonight? Friendly food?" he asked.

"Yes, I would love to have friendly food with you."  she told him as she walked to her door, Seifer walked to his. This was right next to hers and he chuckled as he said good bye. Seifer's heart flew up to his mouth and he laughed madly at the way things have turned out so far. With a lazy smile he turned on the TV and waited till seven or so to go by her room. 

    Quistis herself couldn't believe her life, the way that she thought she would grow as a person never happened, instead she was outside garden; living a regular life. She breathed in sharply as she suddenly had to throw up, the contents of her breakfast in her toilet once again. 

        After a routine of retching she walked to her bag and got a book. She had been reading up on babies and what everything you needed to know about them. Some things made her tired just thinking about, others were okay. A few hours later, a knock at the door woke her up. She frowned and then her eyes reflected realization and she put the book down as she stretched and got up to answer.

"Hey, ready to go?" Seifer asked after greeting her, Quistis' head registered what he meant. Seifer was dressed in a white long shelved shirt; he left the front end of it out and had two buttons loose on the top. His pants were black,( like the kind in the game) and he had a brown thick belt snugly buckled below his naval. 

"Why so formal?" she asked, after a second look at what he was wearing, Seifer inspected himself and shrugged.

"Its not so formal. Its just class, plus we're going to a restaurant. What? Don't tell me _you_ don't dress right to go to restaurants?" he asked mockingly, as he stepped into the room. Quistis sighed and sarcastically motioned for him to come in.

"No its just I thought your idea of real food was moomba plaza burgers." she admitted as she looked through her bag. 

"Funny. I'm not Zell. We are going to Julienne's." he stated as he watched her with an amused look.

"I didn't say you were, and Julienne's. That's kind of out of our way, it's by the coast, and we would have to drive just to get there. Why all the way out into the harbor area Seifer?" she asked as she grabbed a simple burgundy dress, it was a prefect fit to her curves and acquiesced with her form entirely when she wore it. 

"It's a restaurant I've wanted to go to for a long time. Plus it has a deck where you can sit and eat outside." 

"What kind of food?" she asked.

"All kinds, but its specials are seafood." 

"Hm. . .I'll be out in a second." she told him. Five minutes later she came out, and Seifer couldn't speak. With dark red toenails to go with that dark dress she looked so natural. The dress wasn't extremely tight but it wasn't loose either. She grabbed a pair of sandals, not in the mood for heels and then slipped them on. She hadn't been paying attention to Seifer or she would have blushed as red as the dress at the way he was staring; he managed to compose himself before she caught him staring and then opened the door for her.

"Roses would be jealous." he whispered as she passed by him. Though she wore a bit of eye shadow and lipstick; right then it looked as though she had also put on a lot of blush. 

"Let's go." she told him, they waited for the elevator and stole glances at each other during the whole ride down. Both wore poker faces, but were both grinning mad inside their minds. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hey see how fast I went this time! I'm on a role so far. Thanks to all reviewers, so much for taking the time. And hope you've enjoyed my writing spree. Because I don't know how long it will last. Quistis 88 yes it was soon. I've just had the feeling for it and it hasn't gone yet. Well let's see how long the next one takes. ;) 


	15. a dance of truths

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them.

  I'll rise before the clouded skies, 

Though fear holds my heart inside,

I'll rise to laugh and have force to cry,

The sound will dry every last tear.

                                          15.    A dance of truths.

     Seifer and Quistis walked out into the street, the nightlife atmosphere of the big city overtook the city in their eyes. The glow of the streetlight yellowish reflections in the technologically advanced walkways was placid. Seifer had a small smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth, which Quistis saw and mimicked helplessly. He could tell that she was thinking, despite his efforts to have a conversation about anything, Seifer found it extremely difficult as Quistis would trail off into thought. At the car rental, he got a convertible and opened the door for her to get in. Reluctantly she let him drive. 

"Quistis....what are you thinking about?" he asked after they had spent a good ten minutes going around the city to the harbor area. 

"Nothing. Anyway Seifer I wouldn't know why you would care." she told him bitterly.

"Do you really think so little of me?" he asked with a hint of sadness and anger in his tone. 

"Never mind." she answered. Seifer had had enough, he had been around her for three days, she had been nice and then in seconds a total bitch. Tired of this, he stopped her and stood before her.

"I can't be Squall; I can't be quiet all the time. I can't be chicken wuss, and stuff myself with hotdogs and grin. I'm not the cowboy and sure as hell ain't the lapdog from the war Quistis. If you can't stand to be next to me without that bitterness maybe I should just leave you alone. You don't care about anything I do or say to prove that I'm not a bad person. That's not my fault. Good bye Quistis, I'm sorry you hate me; that I bring out such bitterness. I'll leave." 

       Quistis stood her ground, that's right. That's what I should have made him do in the first place; I can't ......her brain stopped thinking after that and she had walked up to a bench and sat down. The mascara ran onto her fingers as she rubbed her eyes and placed her head in her hands.  He had been so wrong right then, she thought with a resigned exhale of breathe. She mulled over his words as she sat, listening to the crickets and grasshoppers and thinking about why she had to be so bitter. She was just angry, and she took it out on him; hate you? She asked herself.

"Seifer I don't hate you......I love you." she whispered in the direction that he had went, afraid to tell him, yet willing to let it out in the calm aired silence of nature. She hadn't realized they had made it to the farm area of Esthar. (Yes it has one, well in the story it does!) We would have had to walk to the pier to get to the boardwalk and then to the restaurant, she guessed. 

     Seifer stepped to the bench, and sat down next to her, his heart was in his throat and his throat was dry. Quistis didn't know if he had heard her, but guessed he didn't due to the fact that he showed no change in character. Seifer's mind processed everything in fine print; she loved you, his mind screamed at him. Yet how could he know it was true, if everything she portrayed was the opposite of what she had said. 

"Quistis.  . .I. . ." and he didn't know how to respond, she was pregnant, and she was alone and he didn't know how to make it better. Inside her head she was alone he reasoned, because I guess she figures that once things get complicated no one will stick around, he thought as he observed her. 

"Please, I'm sorry. I've been taking out my anger out on you. I shouldn't have." she stated simply and stood to walk away. 

         Seifer frowned, not sure of how to approach this creature dressed in the hue of her blood. They were in a little opening between farms, the road split and there was a little park, the benches spread out and the exit was a long narrow clearing it led to the boardwalk. In this light, with the moon, Seifer thought she looked like something from out of a book, as she became a distant blur and then disappeared all together into the nightlife. Seifer fought with his pride and arrogance to get up and go after her.

  In the end his heart killed all other battles and he ran out in the direction that she had gone a bit earlier. Seifer had been dazed, at first, when she had unwillingly told him that she loved him. He had sat there in that same daze, debating his course; when he going to tell her he loved her? Seifer himself was not sure. 

       He hoped that she hadn't had a chance to catch a transportation pod out of the harbor yet. His eyes burned and his throat was closed up, but as he saw the familiar blonde getting up to get on one of the pods he sprinted as fast as possible. He voice left him and he grunted as he felt his throat rip when he tried to speak. 

   Quistis pressed some buttons on the screen and then felt the air shift beneath her as she was about to zip out into the tube, Seifer jumped in front of the pod. His throat still dry yet he gathered some saliva to speak. The pod jerked rapidly fast to a stop and Quistis' body jolted forward. Seifer looked up and smiled weakly at her, his voice still not there yet, he moved around to the side of the pod and offered his hand to help her down. She hesitated slightly put slowly placed her hand inside his. 

"I would be ravished if you would have dinner with me." he stated as she stepped down. 

        Quistis was weary of Seifer, afraid that if she let him become a part of her life he would hurt her, like a many others had in the past. Quistis like a lot of students in garden had a home before attending; she had left the orphanage and found a family to call her own, where inside of that family a few dark secrets lie, buried with the past and the soil of the dead. Most of her memories are gone, thanks to the G.Fs and their merciful moving into her psyche; though most memories are gone, some dream-like memories surface and scare her. 

        Quistis tried to forget the idea of sealing yourself away as she walked with Seifer to the restaurant; this same idea is what attracted her to squall. Both sharing the same detachment sense when it came to others, though Quistis was more discreet about her intentions to keep others away and squall had been more open about keeping others away from him.  

          They walked from the pod station to the boardwalk area and the streets were covered in lights, the water glistened with its reflections. Seifer hadn't let go of Quistis' hand, and Quistis in turn didn't complain, they walked off into a bridge, a area where trees and plants furnished the front of the restaurant and they walked by the wooden path onto the porch; Christmas lights were sprinkled around the plants and trees, and the rook of the restaurant, its porch was filled with people enjoying their night. 

       Seifer got them a table by the end of the restaurant, outside by the pier, and the boats. The area was glowing in the colors of the boats. The sounds of people and the music from the restaurant mingled with the ocean and the lights gave it a orange tint, the tables outside were spread apart and given space. The deck was made to dance on, the tables stood in front of it and the ocean and natural sounds provided unheard music. 

      They were led to their table, and in silence they read the menus, Seifer got some water, and Quistis wanted some juice. She stole glances at him from the corner of her eye; Seifer looked at his menu thinking of what to talk about. They were supposed to be friends, yet they couldn't have a friendly dinner together? Great friends we are, he mocked to himself. After they ordered dinner, their waiter informed them that it would take ten to fifteen minutes to cook the meals. He brought breadsticks out and butter and for them to indulge in. 

         Quistis cut a thin slice and nibbled at it uselessly for a little bit, after a few bits she put it down. Wanting dinner not bread, Seifer on the other hand had been watching her nibble on her food, and then grabbed the bread and sliced off a regular sized piece and putting butter on it and stuffing it in his mouth. The action caused Quistis to laugh, controlling herself she saw that Seifer was smiling at her.

"What?" he asked.

"You just reminded me of something." she told him, Seifer nodded and went back to eating his bread, smiling she observed him shamelessly devour the bread. 

"Don't you want to know what you reminded me of?" she asked after he finished.

"No, I know what you refer to and I'm sure everyone else at that table was dying to take that bread. They just didn't want to look like pigs." he told her teasingly as he pointed a finger.

"You remember that dinner?" she asked unbelieving that he had picked the scene from her brain.

"Of course. You had laughed at me when I picked up the bread then, and you laughed now." he said. Quistis shook her head lightly and smiled at the memory. 

"So we still have about thirteen minutes until our foods ready, you want to dance?" he asked with a turn of his head. 

"No, thank you. I'm a terrible dancer." she told him, with a nervous chuckle.

"No-oh?" he asked mockingly.

"Yes." she stated firmly, when he got up.

"Loosen up Trepe, come on, I've seen you dance, you're a wonderful dancer. Dance with me. Come on." he picked up her hand and tugged her lightly to her fight, reluctance failing her completely. Quistis breathed in as she was pulled into his arms, he wrapped his fingers around hers for the first time since they had been together. 

              His palms kissed hers and she felt his other arm wrap around her ribs and stomach, pulling her close. His steps were slow and he hummed a song neither knew the name to. She felt her eyes close in the unknown familiarity of his arms; the hum became less loud, only heard by them. Her nose was cuddled up in the crook of his neck, sunk in his neck; she felt the vibrations of his humming and exhaled in a total calmness she had never felt before. Seifer grinned as he felt her hands go soft and had stilled completely, and she nuzzled his neck area with her face gently when he had stopped humming, if only for a second, so she urged him to continue. 

"Quis" he whispered gruffly, softly into her hair.

"Hm?" 

    And his heart beat faster than anything in this world right then, it beat from his chest to her heart. She felt him hesitate and on a unexplained impulse she pressed her lips to his skin, just below his jawbone.  The drumming of his premeditated words in heart leapt to his lips then.

"I love you." he whispered into her ear.

"What?" she asked, her lips brushed against the same spot she had kissed seconds ago with her word. 

"I've loved you before time was time." he admitted softly, she didn't speak, her voice lost; gone with his words. 

          He brushed away a tear that fell, and then kissed the other that followed and then engulfed her in his arms. Her tears spilt into his soul, and she felt his soft kisses to her head. She clutched his shirt and laughed, the sound was muffled and low and it warmed his heart, she felt it beat and kissed it. She grabbed his collar and brought him down to her eye level and kissed him softly on the lips it was a simple kiss and he smiled and she smiled at its shared brief bliss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That's it for now; we will see where this takes us. Hope you've enjoyed the chapter and that you will review for me. I love to read what people think. And I'd love to thank the reviewers, thugstra your review was great, thanks so much, and yeah V-day messes up with all your thoughts. ^ ^ chocolate .hmmmm! good. Quistis 88 thanks I'm glad that your enjoying these updates, and that everybody reading is liking the story, god bless (in the words of my reviewer) and thanks for reading. And my we all get valentines.damn, now I'm sad. :p


	16. close

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I own nothing, sadly.

A soul damned to be cursed,

his past stored and replayed,

inside the recesses of his psyche,

he feels the pain, everyday yet tells others

        no, I'm fine, don't mind.

Accepting of his fate he bares this pain.

                             ~~~close 

    Dinner passed by quickly for the two of them as they talked about how good the food was and what a beautiful night it was. It was banter, and they couldn't bring themselves to talk about anything important, afraid that it will ruin the atmosphere they have created. They eat in silence and in gazes and Seifer watched her attentively, his mind somewhat lost in thought. Quistis herself had drifted off into thought. 

       They hadn't kissed more than that one time before dinner, and Seifer would stare at her lips and wish to take her away and have her for desert. He shook those thoughts from his head when the waiter left him the check. The evening closing now, he paid and with a bit of resistance from Quistis who insisted she pay for her meal. Seifer wouldn't have it, and before she could grab the check from his hands he grabbed her hand and paid for the check. They left the restaurant, Seifer let his lips spread slightly into a small grin, while Quistis smiled cute widely, unable to keep herself from doing otherwise.

        The night had gotten old; they had dinner at nine, and left at ten forty five. They had reached the district their hotel was in by one o'clock and then experienced the difference of the city at night. Cars zoomed by and mobs of people walked around through the city to get to one club or another. Seifer watched Quistis out of the corner of her eye; she had an expression he had never seen on her before. 

"What's a matter?" he asked her.

"Nothing." she said, her voice betrayed her surety.

"Really? Come on. What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Garden, I don't know....I have a feeling I will end up leaving them behind." she admitted as she looked up into the night. Some stars shined through the lights of the city, the blue glow of the street reflected off their clothes and Seifer looked towards it for answers. 

       He gripped her hand reassuringly and brought it to his lips, kissing her index knuckle. She watched him do it, and sighed inwardly. She had a hard time being normal around him when he was someone that just wanted to be a friend, what the hell was she going to do now? Quistis was strong yes, but Seifer was like toast and she was the butter that melted in its warmth. They walked into the hotel, tired from having to go to the rental shop and then walk a few districts to their hotel.

   Quietly in thought, they waited for the elevator that would take them to their rooms. Their thoughts trailing after what the doctor had said about the baby's health. They both knew this was an important issue, yet they didn't know how to begin to deal with it. Quistis had her gut feelings and Seifer had his impulsive behavior. Seifer also thought about their situation, altogether; while Quistis was worried about the doctor she would have to see.

"What if Odine tries to experiment on my baby?" she tells him quietly as they wait for the elevator. Seifer turns to her, his head turning fast as he tries to answer. 

"I'll kill him." he promised to her, he tone secure and serious; the sound made Quistis smile, squeezing his hand thankfully as they entered. 

"Still, what if something happens to it?" she asked once inside. Her mind flooded with doubts.

"What if there is something wrong with it Seifer?" 

"What if its not...what if....it dies?" she asks him, whispering her voice shaky and unsteady.

"Quistis. I'm sure its fine. Don't worry so much, and you heard what the doctor said. Its healthy." he told, yet even in his head he had doubts. But Quistis seemed to have a harder time trying to deal with it; just the thought disturbed her greatly. He would have to have a word with Odine, to be sure he thought as he hugged her. They exited the elevator together, his arm around her waist and her arm around his. She had become so silent so fast that it bothered Seifer.

       They walked a little bit and then she broke into a run to her room, alarmed Seifer followed and entered the bathroom realized she had to throw up; he rubbed her back and held up her hair. Quistis' eyes were watery and she brushed her teeth quickly. Hating the flavor of the bile substance in her mouth and throat, she scrubbed her tongue.

"Do you have to brush your teeth every time you throw up?" he asked as she did so.

"Yes! Its disgusting Seif..." she trailed off as she stuck the toothbrush in one more time.

 He waited for her to finish and then pulled her into his arms, her eyes glazed with tears, eyes red. Seifer kissed both eyes clean of tears; she smiled affectionately at his gestures and then walked him to his room. It was a very short walk; Seifer kissed her deeply and ran his tongue over her mouth, savoring the feel before parting.

"Goodnight Seifer." she said softly, her eyes still closed as she found her door knob, Seifer grinned at her reaction.

"Ideal dreams Quis." he murmured to her ear before slipping inside his room.

     Quistis shut the door and squealed in delight, she had always loved Seifer, but now she believed that she was absolutely fascinated and entranced by him. He made her skin crawl and eyes roll to the back of their sockets. Her heart beat was slower than her mind and her heart raced, she grinned madly as she went to the bathroom to wash her face, her mouth had been washed after the puking, so she had no reason to destroy the taste he left her with. 

       Seifer's reaction was a little better than hers, but only because he didn't squeal, smiling slyly at her last reaction, Seifer shed his clothes and went into the bathroom, his teeth washed and then face. Emerging from the said room with his boxers on he sprawled himself out on his bed and thought about the evening and the baby and on Quistis; though not in that precise order. His stomach moved up and down steadily with his lungs and he felt peace settle in and drifted off into sleep. 

                Quistis had the unfortunate luck of not being able to fall asleep around three in the morning; she awoke from her restless sleep and found she couldn't get back into bed. Sighing she went to turn on the TV and as she was nearing the TV she heard the strangest noises from the room Seifer was in. Quistis was a curious being, like most anyone is, had turned her head to the side in observation when she heard muffled cries or laughter, she couldn't tell. 

        With her ear against the thin walls she observed quietly for sounds. She brought her head back as she heard a loud scream, it tore through the throat dryly and unwillingly, not knowing what to do she listened a bit more, the cries and screams continued, though distant and almost unheard she was unsettled with them. 

       She backed away and with no idea of what was going on started pounding on the wall she had her ear against. Seifer's nightmare continued to seize control of him, rendering him unconscious to her pounding. Quistis got worried, extremely so that she started to think something was happening to him. She used one of her smaller blue magic abilities and degenerated the door that connected his room to hers. (Ya know how some hotels have connecting doors, from one room to the other. It's that door)

"Seifer..." she called cautiously as she looked around, everything seemed normal. 

      She turned to his bed to find him tangled in the sheets, the drapes on the window emitting a blueish grayish pale glow in the room. She frowned, biting her lip; she walked closer and inspected his face, tears streaked his cheeks, dried tears stuck to his eyelashes. His face held a look of horror, Quistis thought he looked like a scared child, sprawled out with his eyes clenched and fists curled around the sheets. Only he was older and handsomer, his features stood out even in the dark. 

"Seifer..." she sighed pained by seeing him so badly anguished, she kneed on his bed and started shaking him awake.

         She heard him mumbling, screaming, crying out, and she had never seen such a scene; in all her life, the look on his face was more terrified than that of any face she had ever seen awake. Her heart cried out to him as his tears slipped through his eyes, and wetted the mattress. 

   Sweat had become a second layer to his skin. She tried one last time to shake him out of it but he wouldn't come out of it. She sighed and tried harder this time, her voice yelled over his cries and she shook him harder than his jerking movements that came as reflexes from his nightmare. 

            Seifer's dream or nightmare became more vivid then, his imagination taking control of what was happening and he moved wildly against the holds of the monster that was Ultimacia, the words she threw at him scarred his soul and damaged his mind, his eyes stung with tears and his heart ached to get away. The violent jerks of her claws as they swiped at his skin tore up his insides.

       He cried out, in pain, for mercy, for release, for hyne, for Quistis, he cried, afraid this would never end, the nightmares with Ultimacia were the worst, and those terrified him to no end. They were the most vivid and the most hellish of them all, her eyes a pitch black and claws that ripped at his skin and he bleed crimson so red that the color you would swear was glowing. 

"Seifer please! Wake up Damnit." she screamed above his cries. She held his arms with her limbs and felt his legs fly up to get away. She stood perched above his shaking form, tears threatened to spill from her eyes, her arms holding his as she yelled over him.

            Determined more than ever she tried a different approach; waiting until Seifer was settled down, even for a few minutes. Ultimacia gripped his throat and talked about his worthless life, and he duty to her. Seifer paralyzed under this hold stood still waiting for the end. Quistis released her grip and placed both hands on his; she held his hands and brought her face to his. Tears streamed now, as he imagined the words Ultimacia would say; Quistis herself felt some of her own tears mix onto his cheek. She whispered reassuring words to him, and as she did so she kissed him.

"Seifer...this is Quistis. I love you" she whispered into his ear before kissing his jaw line, Seifer struggled under her loose hold, but she was strong and held on. Moving to kiss his eyes she spoke more words to him. Her loose hair surrounded both of their faces in a safety net of golden tresses.

"Wake up, it's just a dream. Nothing can hurt you." she whispered as she squeezed his hands with each word, the tears streamed and sweat had started to cling to her arms; she didn't care. 

"Seifer..." she whispered scarcely before pressing her lips to his, at first and then for sometime she didn't get a response, then the tears stopped. Seifer awoke to taste the essence of Quistis' words, he felt her nose rub with his as they kissed and he smiled lightly as he rubbed his lower lip with hers. His hands closed around hers and he cried out of fright and relief, out of shame and out of gratitude. Quistis stopped and looked at him, he hugged her tight, and his bare form curved and moved to fit with hers, his long hair was matted to his skin and it looked like he had taken a bath. She listened to his crying, silent, Quistis felt his heartbeat, and the pace was faster than that of a marathon runner. 

             Quistis' mouth was devoured then, by Seifer' his tongue, it danced with hers, it wasn't rushed. Such things aren't rushed, but experienced and enjoyed, the texture of her tongue rubbing with his. The taste of sweat and tears and fear mingled into one alien flavor. Quistis smiled at him when they broke apart for air, his sweaty limbs and tear streaked face only made Quistis want him more. 

              The thought of him made her muscles jelly and eyes fall back, Quistis lay down next to him and let him hold her as he relaxed and quieted. She felt him sigh into her hair, and noticed that when he kissed her ear and jaw line and lower lip; he did is as if it were just a habit to pick up. This made Quistis smile, she lifted his hand, the one she had been holding and kissed his knuckles, feeling the lines and traced her fingers against his larger palm and felt for the different lines.

"Seifer your bed is damp and your sheets are sweaty." She told him as she examined them. 

"Yeah I know. I've gotten used to it." He spoke before kissing her lips once more, she pulled away at first she was going to ask about his nightmares, and he referred to them as usual occurrences, but then decided that he must have been tired and cold.

"Come on." she whispered as she pulled his arm out of bed, the rest of him following obligated by nature. Quistis pulled him into her covers, his body had dried and he was cold because of the sweat and air. Quistis wrapped her arms around his waist and he wrapped the blankets around the two of them, his arms around her form.

Alright I got another one out; it's been like four or five chapters in a row. Wow that's a first. Anyway. Hope you enjoy this chapter like you have the others. Oh and I have no clue when chapters are going to be up, they just will be. But I've noticed that encouragement helps me get on my way. Hint* and thanks for all readers and reviewers. Always appreciated. ^ ^ to boggart ( ) thanks for the review and glad your back, hope you enjoy. And to thugstra I'm so glad you think so, that was the point. But it gets.well I'm not telling. So glad you reviewed, they make my day those reviews. Anyway, keep reading; my typing fever has not stopped yet! And yes wasn't it just a sweet thing, I'm so glad it came out so sweet. Thanks. ^ ^


	17. 17 Beautiful morning

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them,

 like birds after a long flight,

two lovers avoid the end of night.

Reverie in beat of another's' heart.

And marvel at Mother Nature's art.

Thank her for the beauty beside,

And luck for you have found her.

                                              -frost

                                17. Beautiful morning.        

                       Seifer woke up with a laziness he hadn't felt in a long time. His sleepy eyes stared ahead into the curtains' light appearance, the glowing sun outside was brought hazily into the room. The tinted morning only enhanced his grin, he stretched and yawned softly and realized where he was slowly. Quistis had an arm draped over him still, her body a little bit away from his. Giving him room, but still close enough for comfort; her sleek arm hung loosely on his upper abdomen and he felt his muscles stretch under her fingertips. 

      He didn't know what time it was, he turned his head to the curtains once more, looking at the orangey glow as it spread through the room. The color glossed over Quistis' face, her hair fell all about her, and some of his haystack hair wove with her honey blonde locks. He unconsciously turned towards her and observed her. 

      He noticed her eyelashes nip and then Quistis slowly opened her eyes, they found a pair of pastel green irises staring back at her. Smiling she lifted a hand and slowly ran it across his lazy grin, her skin lines tickled Seifer's lips and nose. Seifer caught her hand in his and looked her in the eyes; he placed both hands on his heart and turned to face the ceiling.

"Thanks....for last night." he told her, as he glanced at her briefly, she smiled at him and rubbed her thumb on the back of his hand.

"It was my pleasure." she told him, as she drew closer to him.

"I think today we should go see Odine. We need to know what's going on with the baby." he told her, he felt her nod along with him, it felt odd to talk like that; in bed with her as if he had a right, as if he was apart of her life. He rather liked that feeling.

"Yeah, but I don't trust him Seifer." she told him playing with his fingers as they intertwined with hers.

"Don't worry. I'm sure he wouldn't mess with garden. He's not that crazy. Imagine it, stealing a garden baby." he told her.

"But I'm not really with garden anymore. I'm on leave until I can figure out what to do." she told him.

"What do you mean? They don't know anything?" he asked with a frown, he knew she was by herself but he thought she wanted to be away from that environment during her pregnancy. He didn't know she withheld everything from garden.

"I couldn't. It would lead to you."

"Oh..." he kissed her forehead and then sat up. He looked at her, not knowing if he should drop the subject.

"Okay, I'm gonna go to my room, and.....see if I can find the door. And get some clothes." he added as an afterthought as he looked at the door-less entryway to his room. 

"The door is degenerated, and I should get up too. It's going to get late, and I want to do this Odine doctors' visit early and quick." she told him as she went to get something from her bag, Seifer nodded his head before she turned away again. In his room, Seifer grabbed a pair of clean pants and a white t-shirt. His pants were a loose fit; the cotton hugged his muscles and lower frame. 

          He combed his hair and looked at the length of it, up to his shoulder blades; up until now he had spent most of his time in that little town and had no reason to cut it, yet now he was glad it was so long. It was useful as a disguise; his long hair gave him a separate image from the Seifer of the war. Quistis came up behind him and ran a hand through his hair, the touch was intimate and Seifer turned around and looked at her.

"Do you think I should cut it?" he asked seriously, Quistis looked at him with brows raised.

"No. Its fine." she told him, with a grin.

"Alright. . ." he said albeit with another thought to it.

"Are you about ready?" she asked, dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a light peach sleeveless vest, it zipped and she left some of the bottom open, the top had been left a inch or two open also, for comfort; it was collarless.

"Yeah."

      They had walked out into the lobby, the elevator ride quiet. People ate in the area they had set up for lunches and such, a few couples were eating, some people talked. Others watched the TV, Quistis and Seifer were greeted by the little stout man that was the desk clerk.

"Hello! Why! I see you've found her. Yes, yes! Lovely indeed." he said to them, his voice cheerful and hearty as he led them to a table.

"Oh no! I'm sorry we aren't eating yet. We'll come back if we feel hungry. Thank you." Quistis explained nicely as she tugged Seifer's arm along. Seifer chuckled at her panicked look, and placed his arm around her waist as they walked. 

"Quis, you afraid of the short balding elf, that leads people into food traps." he teased as they walked to the car rental center to get a car for the trip to Odine's lab. 

"Shut up, their food has a negative affect on me." she said as she remembered the food. Seifer shrugged and played with the screen in front of him, the computer recorded it and then produced a car.

"Do you think he'll see us?" he asked her as they drove out of the garage.

"I don't know. He'll probably want to check it out. Just out of curiosity." she told him as she looked out of the window into the landscape. Its orangish and gray colors were dulled by dirt and time, she saw some monsters but they didn't approach or even seem to care about them. 

    If he takes my baby, I swear I will sick every Trepie on him and then let them take him away to the Trepie hell, she thought as she looked outside. What if it dies, or if it doesn't come out right? How am I going to explain this to squall? To Cid? What about Seifer? He loves me; I can't leave him and just go back to garden as if nothing's happened if it dies. And if it's okay, then I still don't know what I'll do. I could go back to garden with it, or call them and make them come to me, and tell them that the father died. 

         Seifer....I would probably go away every weekend and let him see it and be with him during that time. Seifer can't be found out, he is still wanted, she thought as she blindly stared ahead. But it would seem strange that I leave with the baby every weekend and it makes no sense if the father is dead. I'll make up something about the father being against garden? 

           Maybe...and he can't have anything to do with them. So I have to go to him to let him see the baby, and he doesn't want seed in his town, she tested it out in her head. She would have to think about it but it might do, she thought as she looked back at Seifer. I can't ruin his chance to live a life, she thought as she looked at him. I might even have to leave him behind, if garden finds out about him, they'll kill him, maybe not Balamb but if another garden finds out, they will execute him, she thought, her brows frowned at that thought. 

"Quis?" he called after a long period of silence. 

"Huh?"

"We're here." he told her as he got out of the car, she looked around and blushed slightly when he opened the door and held out his hand for her.

"Seifer..." she whispered as they were greeted by a tall man dressed in a beret, and long robes.

"Its alright." he reassured her as he nodded to the assistant.

"We're looking for Dr. Odine. She's pregnant with a baby and a Doctor recommended him to us." Seifer explained as he held her hand.

"Why is this important to the _Professor_?" he emphasized as he looked at the two blondes.

"The baby is extremely rare in DNA and our doctor said that her machines can't detect the baby's sex or strands." Quistis spoke; her voice was strict and sharp.

"Alright, follow me this way please." he walked to an entrance where the blue tech sidewalk glistened and shimmered as they stepped on it. Inside was an elevator that took them down to Odine's' lab. Seifer and Quistis inspected the lab as they walked through it. 

"Ah! Yes, It's de Seed dat iz pregnont! Aww! Yes I know who you are! I recoginze your face."

"Hello. Yes, I've been here before with my friends. But this is confidential, no one hears of it outside this room. Understood?" she asked gravely, her voice beheld no emotions as she stared at the doctor in the eyes.

"Yes It'z covered. Now who are you? I've seen your face before?" he marveled at the loss of memory and was taken out of his thoughts by a clear of the throat. Quistis looked expectantly at him. 

"Yes, well, let's get down to business, vat iz it dat iz wrong with your baby?" he asked. 

"My doctor told me that she couldn't figure out how it has such strange D.NA, its blood is impossible to decipher. She said that I should see you." She told him.

"I zee, and dis DNA? Do you know vat type it iz?" he asked as he approached his desk.

"It's O-A+." Quistis told him as she watched him write it down in a clipboard.

"Mz……."

"Quistis Trepe."

"Mz. Trepe. Dat iz impozzible." He told her. Quistis looked about ready to argue that, Odine reviewed the call he got from the doctor that had been seeing her. He reviewed his notes and tapped his pen lightly on his chin as he paced. 

"Mz. Trepe, I vill need to confirm dat data." He told her as he looked for a needle and test tube. Quistis looked hesitant but nodded her head and rolled up her sleeves. Seifer stood behind her, his arms on either side of her, holding her fists lightly.

That's it for this chapter, I'm tired, its damn late and I've got classes tomorrow. Hope you've enjoyed this chapter, my reviewers please do review and my readers maybe you can review too. Let's see, I might be able to get in another chapter soon. I don't know if this chapter came out good. Maybe its because I'm sleep deprived that I think that. Let me know. Thanks to Quistis 88 for her review it's true you get this great feeling when stories your reading are updated a lot., and to kyra-dante for her great review, thanks so much. To anyone I forgot, I have really bad memory


	18. labs, guilt, and lovely escapes

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them. 

 The sadness of guilt fills my veins.

They run deep, and distract me,

From memories and pain,

 Yet all this guilt will seep through one day.

And destroy my life, in vain.

                                               - frost

                      18.     Labs and guilt, and lovely escapes. 

        Seifer stared worriedly by a computer, his threat to Odine was clear the first time he talked to him, before he had any blood test done to Quistis. Now his leg bounced rapidly off the floor as he watched Quistis being strapped to a machine, with only a paper robe to cover her. At first she had complained and he had complained for her, and then the professor had made it clear that the clothes had to go for this to be done correctly. 

             Seifer watched as her shaky hands gripped the stainless steel of the table and she gingerly climbed to lie down on her back. She winced at the extreme coldness of the steel, and the terrible cold she felt right then. Odine stood by, to the left, in the same little mirrored room he was looking at her through. 

           His hands typed away at something and he muttered a word or two every now and then. Through a mic, he spoke to her and explained the situation; she could see them through the glass and turned her head towards Seifer. He gave her a reassuring smile and sent her a silent vow of love; she smiled in return and prayed to hyne for strength.

"Mz. Trepe, face de ceiling if you will, and I vill send Razer vays to inspect de baby. It iz safe, don't panic, and please don't move. I vill be signaling de starting of de outline of de baby in ten seconds. You must be silent and still." he told her, no less than he said that when a mechanical voice came on and counted the seconds. 

         Her heart beat wildly in her throat, she would see if it was okay, if it was normal now. The doctor had no reason to think anything was wrong because I was alright, but now I'll know, she thought briefly. Seifer was watching her with a tense back as the professor did his scan. 

"Hmm...diz iz very interesting." he whispered as he watched the screen, Seifer stood over his shoulder and peered at the screen. It showed particles and molecules, they looked distorted and as he saw Odine type something, they started to move around in the screen, the colors pulsed and moved. Eventually they formed a mass of Dna strands. Odine typed and then with his finger on the screen marked something and then the mic in the examining room turned on.

"Please step down." Quistis sighed relieved and more anxious than before; she went into a room and changed back into her regular clothes. The feeling of privacy and comfort eased into her being and calmed her little as she joined Seifer in the room Seifer had watched her from. Odine was standing over a computer, his eyes squinted in concentration and his fingers twitched as he thought, then he typed. This routine was upheld for a while before he turned to them and grabbed his beard in contemplation.

"Your baby, iz of diz" he told them, and he pointed to a strange backbone formation, the top of the screen read, fourth to fifth month development. Quistis sighed whatever this is, it's going to start happening in almost a month! She thought as she watched the screen change.

"What is that?" Seifer asked after he stared for a few minutes. Quistis inwardly asked him the same question. 

"Your baby, iz not normal, it'z body structure iz not normal." he told them, indicating the screen. Seifer looked at the doctor for a few seconds and then at Quistis, she stared back at that screen with meditative thoughts.

"Can I still have it?" she asked. 

"Vell, yes....of course, I'll cut you open, and take it out." he explained, lamely. Quistis' stomach churned at the thought and she shuddered before excusing herself. Seifer sighed annoyed as he stared at the professors' back.

"What's that over there?" he asked suddenly as he pointed to the screen, his fingers grazed softly over the form, below the head and by the back.

"Ah..dis I do not know for shure, but it zeems dat dis area here; vill expand into another limb on each side." he voiced, his small frame hunched over the screen with his accented laced words. 

   Seifer stared at the screen, in wonder and in thought; he couldn't understand why he couldn't do anything right, not even natural things. His thoughts turned on him as he stared at the screen, his eyes staring through it, unaware of blue sapphires that studied him. I've messed up everything, he thought as he frowned. Quistis saw his fist tense, his frown; walking up to him she placed an arm around his shoulder blades, then the other. He let out a breathe and glanced at her briefly before turning back to the screen, her arms wrapped around him, bringing back a sense of reality and an even more sense of illusion. 

"Why is it like that?" Quistis asked as she turned to the doctor, arms coming undone from his form, inwardly he groaned as protest as he laced his fingers with hers and wrapped both his and her arms around her waist. 

"I...I do not know, it'z di first time something like dis happens, I've never experiencet such strange results. dey have no explanation, I vant to test you two." he told them as he stared back at them. 

              Seifer tensed and held her tighter and she nodded her head reluctantly, he made some notes on something and then muttered something and looked at the screen. Seifer and Quistis sat down in the only chair in his office, waiting for him to stop pacing around, Quistis had fallen asleep on his lap, and Seifer was playing with her hair at the moment. 

       Seifer sighed loudly and waited for the doctor to notice them, he turned to Quistis and noticed her nudge him softly as she tried to burrow deeper into his torso, smiling he let go of her hair and wrapped his arms around her, briefly checking to see the Odine type something at the screen and then make another note on paper and calculator. 

"Ah! ..Up! Up, vat do you think dis iz?! Come come it'z time for some tests!" he shrieked as he saw them fast asleep on his chair. Seifer groaned and Quistis grabbed her ears in protest, she mumbled cusses as she got up from her place on his lap, Seifer's eyes widened at his legs, both asleep, he chuckled miserably as he felt the tingling sensation invade his senses. Odine muttered about incompetence as he led them to a room. The whiteness of it all was blinding to Seifer, and the ice blue floors echoed at the sounds of Quistis' whispers.

"What time is it?" she asked Seifer as they followed a stung Odine, he held up his wrist to show that he didn't have a watch; she smiled at him and gripped his hand.

"I vill need you two to get changed into dis, I'll be vaiting outside to lead you to X-rays." he told them handing each a paper rob. Seifer looked at his with disgust, and Quistis groaned.

"Damnit! What the hell is this for?"

"Seifer please. . ." she trailed off, he toke in a deep breath and silently released it, as he resigned to wear the robe; his jacket and shirt off.

"Hey..." he spoke, as he neared her. She looked at him with mild interest.

"What?" her shoes and socks gone, and a shiver ran past her as the coldness invaded her soles. 

"I'm sorry." he told her, he looked pensive as he said it and her eyes softened at him.

"For what?" she asked as she disposed of her vest, Seifer stared at her briefly before looking into her eyes.

"For doing this to you." he whispered as he held her face, she frowned and backed away.

"I'm not." she told him as she hugged him, her arms warm against his skin and he felt her strength, beneath him grow. 

"But I've caused you so much trouble and pain. And now...."he trailed off unable to find words, Quistis sighed into his ear, her breath soft and warm as it surrounded his sense of sound.

"It's not normal...Quistis...I don't know....you could tell Odine to....I'll understand, he'll understand, no one will judge. Quis...it's got an extra two limbs, what the hell would people say? What would they think? Of you, an abnormality yourself, and it's because of me...." the last part held such sorrow; she wanted to end this train of thought from him. She understood what he was talking about, what he couldn't voice, by the way he spoke, his throat portrayed a sense of guilt and worry for her, it made her smile despite all else. 

"Seifer...I can't do that, this baby, its important. We are here because of it, together. I'm with you, in a sense, because it brought us together, not because of its existence but because it made me leave, and it made you see me. Chase me. We are here, because of it."  Her voice whispered and surrounded his ears, the importance of his understanding was urgent; her voice hit a realization in him, that she was stronger than he had ever imagined. 

             He felt her let off a tear; it fell and ran down his chest. Seifer felt it run down him, the drop cascaded until it dried on him. He felt shame for his thoughts; now that he thought on her words, he lowered himself to his knees and hugged her stomach; he hugged her in reassurance, a hug of acceptance. The tears on her cheeks fell harder, landing on his head, her head tipped forward as she wrapped her arms around his hunched form. 

   "Lets' go. Odine is bound to notice." she spoke, her hands pulled him up, and as he stood he locked eyes with her. An apologetic look passed through his green layers and she kissed away his shame with a look and red lips. They finished changing in silence both lost in thoughts as they exited the room, Odine was found pacing around the doorway with a calculator look-alike as he typed several things down; Quistis cleared her throat and sighed as Seifer grunted behind her.

"Professor Odine?" 

"Vhat? Can't you I'm busy." he snapped not looking up, when no one answered he looked up.

"Oh! That's right! Come, come dis way!" he led them to a room, and explained what they had to do. After he showed each how, he went out of the room and used the speaker to take to them. Seifer grunted and cursed openly at the coldness, and Quistis giggled at the scene. Later when they were finished, Odine took blood test of Seifer and sent them out the lab.

"I vill call you when I finish analyzing. My assistant vill show you out." he yelled as he retreated lower into his lab areas, Quistis and Seifer drove back in silence. 

"So...you hungry?" he asked as he looked at her.

"No, I can't eat." she told him.

"But aren't you supposed to get hungry?" he asked

"Yes, but not until the fourth or fifth month do I start to crave food."

"Oh." they drove on for a while like that until....

"Stop! Stop! Stop the car!" she yelled, Seifer slowed down and then when it was a safe speed he braked. The car jerked and then the doors were opened, sounds of retching could be heard as Seifer got out and moved to her side and walked up to her, she had ran out and threw up a few feet away from the car. 

       Seifer stood behind her, not sure how to react, he waited until she straightened up and then went to her. He stood behind her, hugging her she sighed and wrapped her arms around his. Turning around she broke down, her tears mixed with a ragged breathes and Seifer held her protectively as the sunset glowed them orange. They slowly descended into a sitting position, she was curled inside his arms and legs, her head rested back onto the crook of his neck and his head was buried deep into hers. They sat for a time in silence, as the sunset took over the colors of day.

"Did ya know sunsets are the only time of the day that gets you melancholy?" he asked as he closed his eyes inside her tresses.

"Hm?" she said not really paying attention. They stayed there, out in the open until nightfall; Seifer thanked hyne for keeping the monsters away and carried her sleeping form back into the car.

    Seifer drove the car into the garage and went to open the passenger door; Quistis heard the movements and woke up, trying to understand the sounds. When she saw Seifer opening the door she frowned first and then closed her eyes.

"What time is it?" she asked with a stretch.

"Eight." he whispered rasped, amused as he helped her up, she slapped his hand away and grinned when he pulled her to him.

"It's only polite to help a lady in distress." 

"I'm not in distress." 

"I know, that's because I helped you." he grinned, rolling her eyes she pulled away and walked towards the exit of that rental shop, Seifer trailed behind. As they walked by some of the stores and side streets, Seifer noticed Quistis acting different. Her head turned to look around and she would walk slowly and Seifer had to slow down to keep in step with her.

"Hey, Quis..." he trailed off as she pulled him into an alley and then into a kiss. Seifer responded beautifully, his tongue licked her lips, begging for entrance, but she didn't budge, her eyes looked out into the crowds, watching as a few passed; waiting for a certain cowboy and sullen commander to pass. 

            She lost focus as she became conscious of what Seifer was doing to her, her eyes focused on his lazily closed ones and mimicked the action. His tongue danced inside her mouth, slowly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer still. She was briefly aware of his hands snaking around and behind her back; they rubbed her back muscles and slid lower. 

        Whimpering heavily she nudged closer and moved a hand lower to his chest and let her nails run along the muscles of his stomach. Seifer's other hand slid under her vest and trailed up, but Quistis reached up and grabbed his hand and pulled it out. She shook the feeling out and looked at him for a second. He tried again as he kissed her lips and cheek and eyelids as she closed them, but she remembered suddenly why she was doing this and pulled away.

"Seif...." she didn't finish as she felt his manhood press against her, she moaned subconsciously and slid both hands under his shirt and tickled his back playfully as she kissed back. She lazily debated stopping as she felt his hands run through her hair. She couldn't even remember if it was loose anymore, her brain clouded by his breath and elated scent. 

"No, Seifer we can't. Not here, please...if someone notices....us..." she tried speaking as he ran his tongue along her neck and collarbone, the task was seemingly impossible at the time. He tipped her head back lightly and trailed kisses down her neck, her eyes dilated and she grinded against his hips. Seifer grunted and pulled her closer, at last moment she pulled away from his skin.

"Uh...Seif." she wanted to go somewhere private, her senses dared her not to and she found herself in a losing battle with....herself. Regretting she tore away, his taste still lingering, and fire trails of where he had touched her stayed warm. He looked confused and drunk; he was drunk, in her taste and her smell. He could drink it till it killed him, he reasoned inside his mind.

"What?" he asked so low that Quistis thought his ears were sensitive to sound, as he advanced once more, she held him back with her hands.

"No, we are in public. If someone notices us, they will report us for....." and she trailed off, unable to say the term, Seifer smirked for the first time in a long time. Quistis noticed it, the ghostly shadowed grin of his youth behind his eyes. 

         She brought a hand up to his face, and smiled as she kissed him. She loved this Seifer, it's true, but it doesn't mean that the man that stood before her wasn't broken, broken and only twenty, such a sad thing to have happen to such a strong spirit, she thought as she looked through the crowds. Not a blur or sign of seed anywhere, she thought as she pulled him out of the alley. 

"Come on, we have to go to the hotel." she told him, her hand squeezed his as she sped walked to the hotel, fear of being found with Seifer, of them finding out the situation, of a thousand of things raced through her head as they treaded through the streets, her mind on not being spotted. 

* * *

Long chapter! Really long. Wow, anyway hope you've enjoyed them so far and thanks for reading. Leave a review and tell me what you thought of the chapter. To all reviewers, thanks and it's appreciated. and to Quistis 88, thanks for the honest answer, I was curious because I wasn't happy with it, anyway. Thanks for reviewing and any future reviewers are thanked. 


	19. nighttime

 SEQ CHAPTER \h \r 1Disclaimer: I don't own them. A/N: this chapter is lemon, so you know. Hopefully its tasteful, I try to make it tasteful but still its some serious lemon.. So. Its not like porn, I hope. Some lemon scenes are just, way too much lemon. And its like porn so. Whatever anyway, on with the story.

                                                 nighttime

Seifer gripped her hand back and kept up with her pace, as they neared the hotel she looked back towards the streets and then entered the hotel. Inside she pressed the elevator and when they were inside she pressed the stop button. Seifer frowned and looked at her expectantly as she relaxed.

"Squall and Irvine are here, I saw them walking towards us in the street." she told him, as she leaned against the glass wall, Seifer sighed and crossed his arms.

"That's why you pulled me aside to make out?" he asked with a smirk, Quistis rolled her eyes. 

"Yes, that's why I kissed you. But that's not the point right now, we have to be careful. If they find out your alive...look maybe you shouldn't be here if you leave and just disappear......" she didn't finish her sentence knowing Seifer would understand what she meant.

"I can handle it, I've been invisible for a long time now." he told her, turning away she went to press the button to continue the elevator; his hand rested on top of hers and his eyes boar holes into her blue tints. 

"But....I'm not going to go away." 

"Seifer?" 

          He took her hands and placed them on his chest and then griped hers hard, holding onto her he kissed her. She backed away but he moved with her and she found she didn't have anywhere to go. Her back dug into the wall and she felt his hands wrap around her form, she ran her hands along his torso, tracing his muscles and lower to his naval. 

"Ahh! Get a room!" a lady screamed as the doors slid open and a few old women emerged into the elevator. Seifer and Quistis separated and while Quistis looked at the floor, Seifer grinned and excused himself and Quistis before leading her away from the elevator. He chuckled as they walked, Quistis had her hands covering her face and she seemed to be shaking, Seifer turned towards her.

"Hey are you okay?" he asked worried as he looked at her covered face, she put her hands down and a stream of laughter erupted from her throat; Seifer smiled at her and chuckled at her. 

"Hahahahahahaha...I'm sorry......hahahahhaha......" she kept laughing and he kept looking at her, with wonder and amazement. She was beautiful when she cried, but she shined when she laughed and he found himself in the similar state after a few seconds. 

"I'm glad I bring such wonderful effects." he told her as he looked at her flushed face, tears leaked from behind her eyes and they stained her cheeks. 

"Did you see their faces? They were repulsed!" she told him as she regained her composure, the lightness still in her blue eyes.

"Yeah, repulsed. But I quite enjoyed it, don't you think?" he asked as he grew closer still to her, she turned the door knob and looked back at him, smiling she closed the door and left him out.

"Would you like to come in Seifer?........ Oh, No but I'd love it if you slammed the door in my face Quistis" he mumbled to himself as he opened his door and entered his hotel room. A sheet had been placed where the door that connected their rooms had been before, Seifer smirked to himself. 

    Seifer threw his coat on the chair and then removed his shirt, taking off the band that held his hair. He rubbed his stomach as he thought and then walked up to the sheet and moved it to a side with his hand. His body resting lazily against the frame, the long blonde hair giving him a gentle godly look, Quistis was removing her vest, and Seifer smiled at her back. Silently he snuck up on her; he wrapped his arms around her. Trapping her inside his grasp, his held breathe was let go gently as he snuggled into her hair, what is that scent? He mused. 

       Quistis was surprised at first, she shouldn't be doing this, but didn't he love her too? So what was the problem, and then it hit her like a ton of bricks, her amnesiac past with him disturbed her more than she thought ...to bloody hell with it all, I don't care do I?. She lost her train of thought as he nibbled her ears; his soft arms brought her close. He reminds me of a fallen angel, and he tastes so good, hyne I love this man.....she thought as she felt his chest, felt his muscles kiss her exposed back. He stopped for a second his hands falling from her skin, his mind trailing after him, as he took her in; she looked up at his eyes in wonder.

"Seif?" 

"It's just....I love you. Your so beautiful." he whispered to her, she smiled and snuggled into his long hair, the scent was husky and strong, yet wonderful to her.

"I love you." Seifer…she smiled and it turned seductive after a few seconds. She hugged him and felt his arms return to their rightful place.    

        Seifer kissed her back, her neck and trailed a hand up to tangle in her hair, she felt him tug at her scalp before her head was brought back, she is addictive, I have to be careful with her... I would get lost, he thought as he kissed her neck and collarbone. She felt his tongue on her flesh, the hairs rose from the touch of his hand traveling down her stomach. His nose tickled her skin, and her eyes got lazy and she grew drunk in his presence. Her breathes came in short, and his came in ragged, she could feel his heart beat when he drew her in close enough. She wanted so bad to be engulfed in him, lost inside of a tangle of green and blonde in him.

 She bit her lip as his hand traveled under her jeans into her. She moved her hips back, and her hands gripped his thighs, her hands tugged at his legs as his aroused her in all the right spots. She squirmed now, whimpering and hissing, Seifer smiled lightly, his lips still tasting her, lightly, as he played with her skin. Then his hands were traveling up her ribs ...he's driving me crazy, she thought as he kissed her chest; she growled at him and broke loose from his seductive hold. 

Her lips crashed into his, her tongue dying for a taste, his hands rose to caress her face, as her hands traveled down, his growing arousal becoming compressed inside his pants. Her nails softly traveled his skin.....this is right...so far it's the only thing in my seriously screwed up life that doesn't suck he thought as the sensual trail sent goose bumps all over his skin and he felt it reach the scars. His breathing stopped as she separated from his lips, her eyes and fingertips trailed the wounds. 

          Quistis had seen them before, that night he was having a nightmare....yet she never paid close attention until now. The wounds were gunblade, to be more exact, Hyperion, and self-inflicted. Quistis' alarmed eyes stared at his scared ones; he tried to kill himself, Seifer...... She bent her head; her lips chastely kissing the scars, Seifer's hands came to rest on her face as she did so. 

        He brought her up to him, her hands on his chest, his crotch pressed against her, she tired to ignore it as he locked eyes with her; yet she couldn't; her hips grinding against his, his purpose lost as he hugged her close. Feeling her skin fit with his, his arms lightly griping hers as hers continued down to his length. Her fingernails played with his arousal, teasing and torturing him in a bittersweet way.

             Seifer removed her last piece of clothing completely (jeans), her stringed lingerie hung beautifully with her curves.(imagine those string bikinis but not a bathing suit.) Her lips trailed down with her body as her hands slowly slid his pants off. Then back up as her feet tugged at the ends of the pants, Seifer backed up and his pants came off, his boxer/briefs hugged his muscular legs perfectly, ones she had a itch to remove, soon those were discarded too. Hyne, he is so beautiful, she thought as she kissed his shoulder, and then the other, the feeling made him want her to do it again forever. 

        She leaped and hugged him as she jumped onto his waist, Seifer's hair swayed and he chuckled, at that moment Seifer looked like a dream, or so Quistis would later say. He gripped her waist to keep her up; though she was skinny she was packing a lot of muscle. Seifer laughed into her hair as she caressed his head, her fingers on his neck and her lips on his cheeks. Seifer kissed her collarbone, her chest, her heart, she is so sweet, I could eat off her....

His hands held her up and her legs wrapped around his waist. she moved in a way that surprised Seifer then, and sent them tumbling onto the bed. Seifer expected her to stop, get off, or even acknowledge the change, but she seemed completely unfazed so he continued with his exploration also. Quistis sighed into him as he fondled her, her body onto of his; urging him with teasing movements and touches; Seifer let his hands run down to untie the knots of her lingerie. 

       Quistis gripped him, her nails dug softly into his skin not hurting, not actually digging. Wrapping her arms around him, the relief of her closeness was something he was unfamiliar with, yet he was utterly taken by it, and by her. She needed him, so much then, like a addiction, or a cure; she tried to bring him closer still, the physical act impossible at the closeness they already shared.

"Quis....what's wrong?" he asked quietly as her grip got tighter. 

"I need you..." she told him, her forehead touching his, her breathe was ragged, as she kissed his nose, her body atop his with both legs on either side of him, Seifer gripped her hips and kissed her deeply. 

"I....need to feel you inside me...." she dragged out after their lips parted; Seifer stroked her cheek, then her lips, as he looked into her eyes. 

        She gripped him, her arms wrapped around his shoulders, as she came to meet him. Their hips locked and she felt his being enter her, a gasp escaped her lips the feeling to her was indescribable, she felt all his muscles shift beneath her. Every inch of him was right, she couldn't think, and if breathing didn't come naturally she probably would have forgotten to. Seifer buried himself in her; his rhythm increased with her, she grinded her hips into him. 

         Her hair fell over them both covering them in a curtain of blonde and Seifer looked at her face as her eyes locked towards his; and only one word came to mind when he saw her eyes and her face, her lips inside that layer of golden blonde....a goddess, he uttered inwardly as he kissed her neck, her head inches above his. 

"Sei.- sei sssss" She bucked as he sucked her neck, the area where the throat was, enjoying the vibrations of the sounds she was making. Seifer let his hips move with hers, her movements causing his to happen even more heatedly. Seifer lifted his head and groaned as he dug himself in her, his actions rapid and instinct as she tickled and ran her hands over his chest. 

        His voice was blocked off by Quistis' mouth as she licked his tongue with hers. To block out his moans and hers, they rocked together, a rhythm, beautifully made of love and limbs and of souls that have suffered so much; that they drown their sorrows inside the love they build through kisses and hugs, and emotions that have no names.

        Seifer's long hair framed his face artistically as he free fell into her both reaching orgasm, her hair tangled with his as she collapsed into his arms. Seifer brought the sheets to cover them both and sighed as he kissed her one last time before nodding off to sleep, he told her he loved her, since before he was a thought, unaware that she had already fallen asleep. Seifer smiled at her sleeping form, sweat glistened on her skin, with the nighttime light, and he let his lips trail after her skin; until sleep overtook him too.  

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sorry for the delay but I was on  a road trip and just got back. I'm sleepy and tired so I'm not saying anything, thanks to any reviews, Quistis 88, kyra-dante, boggart ( )…sorry if I spelled it wrong. I'm so out of it right now. Hope the chapter was to your liking….excuse my rudeness


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